[Rey/Poe]
He's been digging his heels in since what happened at Luke's school. He keeps doing worse and worse things because he feels like he can't turn back. Being too good to him now just shows him that he doesn't have to change, it doesn't inspire him to be better -- and we can't manipulate him into being a better person.
[...] I know I don't believe everything he's told me, but I do think he's been manipulated most of his life. Manipulated by Snoke, yes, but also pushed to be a certain person and guided down a certain path because of his family and his legacy. I think it's fair to have some sympathy for how hard that might have been for him. But giving him too much kindness just tells him that he can still be this person and have everything that he wants.
I've watched Kylo Ren execute innocent people, he's also saved me life. Bad people are capable of doing good things. He's capable of talking about love and compassion and he's capable of feeling those things -- that doesn't save him. He needs to accept what he's done as wrong and move on from that before either of us should give him anything he wants.
And he's lucky, maybe. Because here, in this space, any kind of change from him would be so easy it's almost hard for me to believe it'll be sincere.