WHO: Connor & Lucifer WHAT: A heart to heart between an android and the devil WHEN: Day 6. Early morning, before the day really started WHERE: Starting outside but that's too cold so then Connor's room RATING: Low STATUS: Complete
Lucifer was debating another smuggling run, but he had absolutely no desire to end up in the yulelag again. Not with the hopes that they'd soon be far away from this winter wasteland. So he'd been out to scout the area from the apartment side of the border, looking for ways that he might avoid being seen. Of course, he had no idea who was leaking names and why, and suspected that his efforts might be futile anyway.
The only way to play this game might be to sit it out.
He was on his way back to the apartments when he spotted someone outside, sitting in the cold. Bloody hell. That assessment doubled when he saw that it was Connor.
"Connor," he said, addressing the other man. "What are you doing?"
The snow gathered on his shoulders where he sat on the curb. Where it might melt on humans, blending with their clothing and hair, it gathered on the android--a physical reminder that he was not, in fact, biologically alive the way the others were. He was staring at the ground, gaze fixed on the white at his feet, LED a faint yellow on his forehead as he considered everything that had happened and what might still happen yet.
He almost startled at the comment, looking up to blink a few times before he realized the source of the voice. What was he doing? Brooding was what Markus had called it.
"Thinking," Connor replied quietly, his tone relatively calm even if his eyes gave him away as troubled.
"Right," Lucifer said. "Well good that I found you. You wanted to speak?" He glanced around. "Dolores isn't back yet, so maybe we can go inside where one of us can warm up?" The android didn't seem particularly affected, which must be nice. "You can tell me why you're up at the crack of dawn thinking, and I can tell you why I'm leaving."
Connor frowned at that, because the man's mood troubled him. Whatever had driven him to the point of wanting to leave, Connor would be understanding, but he couldn't deny that he'd begun to consider him a friend. Which was odd considering he was Lucifer. But Connor didn't have the normal religious hang ups a human might.
"Alright," he agreed, standing up finally, and motioning for Lucifer to follow him inside. He didn't think to brush the snow off of his shoulders and hair until he felt it begin to melt, and the android took his coat off to shake it clean.
“I’m sorry,” he told Lucifer. “I often forget how temperatures need to be regulated.”
"So I see," Lucifer replied, slightly amused. Even his time in this place hadn't abated his curiosity and the androids were interesting to him, the way they paralleled the creation story. God made man, man turned himself into god and made life of his own, essentially. It was a terrible story, as these things never went according to plan. That the devil knew.
He followed Connor back to his room and then said, "Right. You go first. What had you sitting outside becoming a real life snowman?"
The android considered that for a moment, almost making a comment about how if he'd meant to be a snowman he would have been standing instead of sitting, but he realized that Lucifer was being sarcastic. It was the sort of thought Hank would tease him for having--taking things too seriously at times, to literal. The actual question the devil posed was more troubling though, especially when Connor realized what his reply was.
"I don't know if I'm making the right choice," he admitted quietly. "I thought I was. I thought that proposing an uprising was the only way, but I feel...judged for it. And perhaps those judgments are perfectly warranted. I am a tool for destruction. It was my original design."
Lucifer considered Connor for a long moment, weighing what he'd just told him. "Why did you want to start an uprising? To destroy? That didn't seem like your motivation, even if I wasn't too eager to join in."
He gave the other man a shrug. "I spent eons of my life punishing people in hell, and then I moved to Los Angeles and ended up with the LAPD, ensuring the right people were punished for the crimes they committed. Yet there's quite a difference, don't you think?"
"My motivation was helping people who have been living in fear gain some of their hope back," Connor admitted. It was something he'd seen both Markus and Hank manage in their own ways back home--Markus on a much grander scale, of course. But Hank had taught him that little acts could help too. "I never meant to upset people, or give the impression that I wanted violence for violence' sake."
Connor listened to Lucifer, listened to the wisdom that came from his lifetimes of experience, and finally asked, "Do you think I handled it wrong?"
Thinking it over, the devil shrugged. "I'm annoyed with this place, but if the pattern follows it won't be much longer before we're free from it? My concern is what lies next, or maybe it's not my concern as long as there's a door that says 'Exit" waiting for me."
But that didn't really answer Connor's question. "You asked how people were feeling. I can hardly find fault in that. And it wasn't you that started the discussion about having a revolution. But they often come at a price so you should consider whether or not it's worth paying. I can't tell you how many revolutionaries ended up in hell, convinced they'd been on the right side of things. Seems once you take a life the guilt can weigh on you for an eternity, and while some people may not be strangers to that, others here?"
The guilt certainly still weighed on him.
"You really are considering leaving?" Connor asked him, and the android openly frowned at that. He knew the other man wouldn't joke about something like this, but it was still...disheartening? Maybe that was the emotion he felt now. Also the sudden protective need to stop Lucifer from leaving? That was new.
"Guilt is a burden my programming never prepared me for," he agreed quietly. And he could agree with everything the devil was telling him now, wondering if perhaps he had a place in Hell--or would if there was even an afterlife for androids. Connor still believed there wasn't. But Lucifer understood what he was dealing with, his reasons for wanting to be a part of this revolution, and it was a relief to have someone else who understood. Markus did, on some level, but he'd never carry the weight of what Cyberlife had made Connor do.
"And if you were asked to stay?" he questioned quietly. "I must admit your existence was a unique surprise for me, troubling at first given how you made me reflect on my own actions, but you are able to understand my struggles on a personal level few can. I...consider you a friend."
The question and reasoning behind it caught Lucifer off guard, and he looked at Connor, slightly stunned. It was true that he understood the struggle that both Connor and Dolores were going through, both of whom he considered friends. Was it fair to leave them now?
"I hadn't considered that," he admitted, his own voice quiet. He thought about the people back home, hoping his absence hadn't affected them too terribly, but also considering that they might be moving on without him.
Again.
"You believe I can help you, if I stay?" he asked, genuinely curious.
"I believe you already have helped me," Connor replied quietly, which was a definite yes. "But I also recognize that your reasons for leaving may be your own. I will support whatever choice you make, I merely...needed you to know you have a place with us."
"Well," Lucifer said, clearly moved by the sentiment even as he tried to cover that up. "Far be it from me to disappear when I'm needed."
Connor looked at the devil for a moment, considering all of the implications there, and offered him the weakest of smiles. He had half expected the man to leave anyway, would have supported it exactly as he'd promised, but was incredibly relieved that he had not.
The android looked at him for a moment, then stepped forward and hugged him. He'd only hugged a few times in his existence, but this felt like a right moment for it.
Uncertain of what was happening until it was happening, Lucifer's eyes went slightly wide. He wasn't accustomed to touch, but this place seemed to be full of it, and after a few seconds he wrapped his arms around Connor, patting him a couple times first before fully returning the hug.
He also wasn't often rendered speechless, but this had done the trick.
When he pulled back away from him, Connor offered a lopsided grin that made him look more like a living person than any of his other artificial features. It was the sort of smile that couldn't be programmed. "Thank you, Lucifer," Connor told him.
"You're welcome," Lucifer said, somewhat bemused. Maybe he should be the one thanking Connor.