[She knew some of that. She could guess some, but there were new things too. How much has he been hiding?] I make all that worth it? [It's not that she thinks he's lying. She's just not understanding how that can be true especially...
Especially when things got hard he didn't trust her to help. He pushed her away instead. She was ready to let him die and he was ready to let her go. What's left after that? How is he still standing here? How can she trust him? How can he trust her? How can she trust herself?]