Amano (amano) wrote in envisage, @ 2007-02-13 12:50:00 |
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Entry tags: | h |
The Hiei & Kurama Show
~The Hiei and Kurama Show~
--With your hosts, Hiei and Kurama
________________________________________
Scene: Your average-looking stage; dark blue background colors, a huge television screen mounted high on the wall, four or five crimson-colored chairs lined up in front of it, a mahogany table with a vase full of roses set up in front of the chairs, and black curtains separating this area from backstage.
________________________________________
::Theme music plays and the camera zooms in on Kurama as he walks out on stage with Yusuke, while Hiei slowly and reluctantly shuffles behind them::
Kurama: ::sitting down on one of the chairs and smiling at the camera:: "Hello everyone. Welcome
to The Hiei and Kurama Show. We've got some good news for you loyal fans."
Yusuke: ::showing peace sign:: "Yeah that's right!"
Kurama: "After Hiei killed all of our audience members during the last show, we thought that we
would never get to show our faces on television ever again. However, we were able to work out a deal with the FBI and now we get to tape our show in a private studio."
Yusuke: "Right, which means no crazed fangirls to drive Hiei mad. How about that, Hiei?"
Hiei: "Hn." ::is still saying 'Hn' to spite the fan::
Kurama: "Well anyway, we've got quite a bit to do today, so shall we get started?"
Yusuke: ::shrugs:: "Ready when you are."
Kurama: ^_^ "Alright then. Now normally we'd use this time to take questions from the audience,
but since there is no longer an audience, I thought that we might do something fun to entertain the fans at home."
Yusuke: ::showing a broad and completely fake grin:: "So tell us your idea, Kurama."
Hiei: ::sarcastically:: "Yes, we're just dying to know."
Kurama: "Karaoke!"
Yusuke and Hiei: O.O ::both face-fault::
Hiei: "Whose idiotic idea was this?"
Kurama: ::looking puzzled:: "...Wasn't it yours, Hiei?"
Hiei: "Hn. I don't recall ever suggesting anything remotely similar to that."
Yusuke: "Of course you don't, you were drunk and sugar-high on Sweet Snow."
Hiei: ::remembers that delicious Sweet Snow:: ::wishes he had some now:: ::wishes he wasn't on
this dumb show::
Kurama: "So if you don't like the Karaoke idea, then what do you suggest Hiei?"
Hiei: "Do you even want to know?"
Kurama: "Erm...maybe not. Yusuke, any ideas?"
Yusuke: ::staring blankly ahead:: "...Uhhh... What was the question?"
Kurama: ::sighs:: "Well I have an idea. Let's just skip the to the Special Guest."
Yusuke: "Sounds good to me! Bring out Kuwabara, I still haven't beat his face in for listening to me in the shower." ::smacks right fist into left palm::
Kurama: ^_^; "...Come on out, Kuwabara."
Kuwabara: ::walks out thinking like he's the man:: "Hey every--" ::notices the absence of an
audience:: "Hey wait a sec, aren't there supposed to be people here? This IS a TV show, right?"
Kurama: "Yes, Kuwabara. Unfortunately, due to a little mishap, we're not allowed to have a live
audience any more."
Yusuke: "But we DO get to use this nifty little laugh track!" ::presses Laugh Track button::
::Laugh Track (a recording of an audience laughing)::
Kuwabara: "Oh." ::looks disappointed:: "Now I won't get to meet my fans!"
Hiei: "Even if there was an audience it wouldn't make a difference."
Kuwabara: "You shut your mouth, Shorty!"
Yusuke: ::presses Laugh Track button::
::Laugh Track::
Hiei: "That wasn't even remotely amusing."
Yusuke: "So?" ::presses Laugh Track button again::
::Laugh Track::
Kurama: "Well, Kuwabara, would you like to have a seat?"
Kuwabara: ::sits down beside Kurama:: "Sure, thanks."
Yusuke: ::takes a seat beside Kuwabara:: "So Kuwabara, tell us--what's it like?"
Kuwabara: ::scratches his head:: "What do you mean?"
Yusuke: ::presses Laugh Track button::
::Laugh Track::
Hiei: "That's getting annoying."
Kurama: "Kuwabara, we're going to ask you some questions, alright?"
Kuwabara: "Sure!"
Yusuke: "What's 2 plus 2?"
Kuwabara: "Well--"
Hiei: "What does the word 'incompetent' mean?"
Kuwabara: "Um--"
Yusuke: "What's the meaning of life?"
Kuwabara: "I--"
Hiei: "When the wind blows, can you feel your brain rattling around inside your head?"
Kuwabara: "I don't--" ::suddenly he realizes why they're asking him these questions:: "Hey! I'm not a moron just because I don't know all the answers to those stupid questions!"
Yusuke: "Of course not." ::presses Laugh Track button::
::Laugh Track::
Kurama: O.O; "Maybe we should get right to the fan mail..."
Yusuke: "Good idea!"
Kurama: ::calling backstage:: "May we have the fan mail, please?"
Backstage Crew Member: "Sure Kurama!" ::wheels out a large cart overflowing with mail:: "This is
from this morning."
All: O.O
Kurama: ::picks up a letter and opens it:: "Time to answer questions. This one is from Zea. She
writes: 'Dear Hiei; Will you marry me?! I'm a demon! ^^'" ::puts letter down and looks at Hiei::
"Well?"
Yusuke: "Go Hiei!"
Hiei: ::glares at Yusuke, then looks at the camera:: "Hn. I don't even know you. How can I marry
somebody I don't know?"
Yusuke: "Easy, you just say yes. It's that simple." ::looks at the camera:: "I'll marry you if he doesn't want to!"
Kayko: ::from somewhere:: "YUSUKE YOU JERK!!" ::marches out on stage to slap him repeatedly, then goes back to wherever she came from::
Yusuke: @.@ "...Uhhhhh...what just happened? ...Hi mom... I like canned bread." ::collapses::
Kurama: O_O;; "We'll go on to the next question." ::picks out another letter from the monstrous
pile and opens it:: "It's from Baka No Hanyou, who writes: 'Are you guys friends with any other
anime characters, like Vash the Stampede, Inu-yasha, Yami (Yugi) Kenshin, ect.?'" ::looks at the
others:: "Why don't you three go first?"
Yusuke: "Okay. What was the question again?" ::presses Laugh Track button::
::Laugh Track::
Yusuke: "Just kidding. Anyway, I talked to Sano from Rurouni Kenshin once. He's cool. And I also
played cards with Yugi, but I lost." ::looks sad::
Kuwabara: "I played cards with Yugi once, too! He beat me, I think he cheated..." ::grumbles about little kids being better than him::
Kurama: "And what about you, Hiei?"
Hiei: ::smirks:: "I've killed a few baka humans with Vegeta from Dragonball Z."
Kurama: O.o "...As for me, I do know Inu-yasha; I met him at a shopping mall once. We e-mail
each other frequently. Kenshin is a very kind person, and we have become quite good friends as
well."
Yusuke: "Okay, on to the next question!" ::picks out a random letter and reads it:: "This is from kitsune-of-darkness-flame, who writes; 'I have a question for Hiei--Will you marry me?! I am a kitsune not a baka human. P.S. Cool show!'"
Hiei: ::glares at Kurama and then looks at the camera:: "Get me some Sweet Snow and we'll talk."
Kurama: "And thank you for the compliment, we're glad people enjoy our show."
Yusuke: "Yeah!" ::is thinking that maybe the show isn't such a stupid idea after all::
Kurama: "Time to read another letter!" ::picks another one out of the pile and reads it silently:: "...Er...Kuwabara, would you please go get me a, uh, brush from my office? It's on my desk."
Hiei: ::is wondering why Kurama gets an office and he doesn't::
Kuwabara: "Uh,okay." ::walks off stage::
Kurama: ::reads the letter out loud once Kuwabara is out of earshot:: "This letter is from
dustbunny690, who writes: 'Hiei do u notice that Kuwabara has a crush on ur "sister"? And if you
do notice then why don't you do anything about it? Also Don't you find it offending when Kuwabara calls you short, or don't you wish you could be taller? (I am not trying to be mean, I mean I think ur shortness is hot, and cause you kick some serious @$$. Kurama how is it that Yusuke has a gf but not u or Hiei I mean no offense Yusuke but they are much more well... I do know... cooler and hotter then you. (Kurama i'm single and a fox spirit. ^^)'"
Hiei: ::clenching his fists:: "I am aware of the fool's interest in her, and if he tries to pull anything I'll rip out his intestines and strangle him with them. As for being short, I like it and only narrow-minded bakas such as the incomptetent back there would bother trying to offend me that way. And you're correct, I do kick 'serious ass' as you put it."
Kurama: "I don't have a girlfriend because I'm really too old for all of them. ...Single and a fox spirit? ...Er, well, call me if you like."
Hiei: "Girlfriends are for human fools."
Kuwabara: ::comes back empty-handed:: "Kurama, I can't find your brush."
Kurama: "That's alright, I may have been mistaken. I don't need it anymore."
Kuwabara: "Okay. Can I do the next one?" ::picks out another letter:: "It's from CheetorX, who
writes: 'Hei,what is it like being such a shrimpy demon?'" ::snickers:: "Yeah Hiei, why don't you tell us?"
Hiei: "Hn. Better than being a baka ningen."
Yusuke: "Aw, we're not THAT bad!"
::suddenly the studio doors bust open and some fans manage to run inside before security can catch them::
Security Guy: "Kurama, we got some loose fangirls!"
Kurama: ::watches as the fangirls sit down in the audience section looking very non-rabid:: "It's alright, I think they'll be fine."
Yusuke: "Just don't let it happen again!"
Security Guy: "Y-yes sir!"
Audience Member #1: ::stands up and waves a hand in the air::
Kurama: "Yes? What's your name?"
Audience Member #1: "Ginsei Kitsune."
Kurama: "Oh, hello. What's your question, Ginsei?"
Ginsei Kitsune: ::stands up:: "Kurama I absolutely love Yu Yu Hakusho! Its so awesome!! I was
just wondering if you could possibly just smile and wave? Please? PLEASE? Just smile at me and
wave? I would honestly greatly appriciate it!"
Kurama: "In return for a compliment like that, I would be glad to." ::smiles and waves at her::
Ginsei Kitsune: ::sits back down, looking very happy::
Kuwabara: "How come I don't have any fans?" ::pouts::
Yusuke: "Who knows, who cares. Next letter!" ::picks up yet another random letter:: "This is from Juu-Kun, who writes: 'Dear Hiei, I am a good fighter and stuff, so I wanted to know, CAN I
BECOME YOUR PARTNER AN ANNIHILATE THE OTHER HUMANS ON THIS PLANET? I also wanted to know if u liked my quote about you: "He is the Forbidden Child, praise him, and be spared.'" ::looks at Hiei:: "So...?"
Hiei: ::smirks evilly:: "I'll meet you here on Friday at noon. As for your quote, it suits me perfectly."
Kurama: O_O; "...Shall we continue?" ::picks out a letter:: "This is from CPH, who writes: 'I have a question for Hiei!! ^-^ Hiei, would you help me train? I'm a fire demon too! I promise to leave all fangirliness behind. And I don't get in trouble for killing humans, so if you help me, I'll kill Kuwabaka for you!! Ok? C ya!'"
Hiei: "Sure, no problem. If you're tough enough to handle the training, that is. Kill Kuwabara? That sounds good to me."
Kuwabara: O.O;; "Why doesn't anybody love me?"
Yusuke: "I dunno, let's find out." ::reads the letter he just opened:: "This is from Shadow Shinomori, who writes: 'I got a question for Kuwabara: How come your so stupid? For Hiei: Did you ever have a girlfriend and tell the truth.'"
Kuwabara: "I'm not stupid!" ::pouts some more::
Yusuke: "I think I can answer that question. Kuwabara is so stupid because of all the times I
rammed his head into the pavement." ::snickers:: "And I heard that he was dropped on his head as a child."
Kuwabara: "Was NOT!"
Kurama: "Well it would seem that we're running short on time..."
Yusuke: "Hey Kurama, I think somebody in the audience is trying to get your attention..." ::points to a girl in the audience with long silver hair, wearing a revealing outfit that shows off her skinny frame who is waving at Kurama::
Kurama: ::blushes slightly:: "No, I don't think--"
Silver-Haired Girl: ::stands up:: "Hey! Don't pretend you don't know who I am."
Kurama: ::puts a hand on his forehead:: "Oh dear..."
SHG (Silver-Haired Girl): "Come on, you know you love me..."
Yusuke: "Hey, she's pretty cute!" ::recieves glare from Kurama:: "What? Do you know her or
something?"
Kurama: "Er--well--" ::wishes he was anywhere but here::
SHG: ::'evil' smirk:: "Fine. Act like you don't know me, but just don't leave your underwear lying in the bathroom again like you did this morning, ok?"
Kurama: O_O;;; ::blushes deeper:: "...Please, why are you doing this?"
SHG: ::teasing him:: "Doing what? I heard you had your own show, can't a little sister come and
watch her favorite big brother once and a while?"
Hiei: ::looking annoyed:: "Kurama, I thought you said she wasn't going to be a problem."
Yusuke: "Who? Kurama, is she related to you?"
Kurama: ::sighs:: "Yes, she is. She is my younger sister."
Yusuke: "Cool!" ::turns to SHG:: "Tell us some more embarrassing stuff about Kurama!"
SHG: ^_^ "Ok!" ::runs onto the stage, hugs Kurama, and looks at the camera:: "Well, like I said, he always leaves his dirty underwear on the bathroom floor, and also he--"
Kurama: "Please, turn off the camera!"
SHG: "--loves washing his hair and is REAL picky about what kinda shampoo he uses, AND yesterday he--"
Kurama: ::steps in front of his sister:: ::looks at the camera, speaking very quickly and very loudly:: "Well that's all the time we have for today, see you next time on The Hiei and Kurama Show, where we'll be having Jin as our Special Guest!" ::waves:: ^_^;;;
________________________________________
SHG: ::watches replay:: "I look cool!"
Hiei: "Hn." ::says 'Hn' to spite all fans who hate 'Hn'::
Kurama: ::sighs:: "Yes, well...be sure to watch our show again tomorrow, when we'll be having Jin as our Special Guest!" ^_^
Yusuke: ::twirling his fingers, not enthused:: "Woooo..."
Hiei: "Tell them to stop asking me to marry them."
Kurama: "......"
Yusuke: "Alright, let us know what you think! Reviews!"