[Vivale]
It is an understandable sentiment, Gale, and, unfortunately, I can see no way out of the situation unless you are willing to defy the expectations being thrust upon you. It is a rather unfair system in which we live, were women are to be sold as wives with little respect for our feelings.
As it stands, you will have more power than you think once you marry, so long as you are clever and able to manipulate your spouse.