Dear Ellie, Our lovely neighbors of a dozen years have finally had enough tragedy and have moved to western Valendia to be with their daughter and her family. But now - the horror - my husband and I have found out that their house was purchased by a mage.
Ellie, what do we do? I am rightfully concerned about having my grandchildren around such a dangerous person! Please help.
-Unhappy Neighbor
Dear Unhappy, Faram! I had not heard that the late Vivian Xi had arisen from the grave. And to move in next door to you! My gracious. Oh. No, it seems the former Sage is still resting in her grave. My mistake.
I must say that I understand your concern. Heaven forbid your grandchildren learn that mages are simply people like them! Perhaps you ought to consider moving. I've heard that it is prime time to purchase.
Best of luck, Ellie
Dear Ellie, I should probably preface this by saying I intended none of this to happen, but somehow, I seem to find myself in something that is maybe, potentially, possibly love with two people at the same time, which is a serious problem as I never intended to get this attached to either of them (let alone to both of them!) nor to anyone.
Needless to say this situation is highly unconventional, and I'm not at all sure what I'm supposed to do about it now. I'm very fond of my freedom and am not entirely certain that I would be any good at anything that even looked like a serious relationship, and that's assuming I can sort this ridiculous triangle out in the first place. But I don't even know where to start.
Help?
-Hopelessly Tangled
Dear Hopelessly Tangled, It is always difficult to navigate the changes in a relationship, especially when they are unanticipated. It is a delicate situation you are in, as there are two other individuals involved as opposed to one. That being said, a relationship need not restrict you.
If you wish to continue seeing them both, but do not wish to have your freedom restricted, discuss it with them. Regardless, a conversation will need to happen. It is not fair to them to leave them in the dark, so to speak. My advice would be to take some time and think through what you want. As for where to start, start at the end. What kind of relationship do you see yourself having with them? Work your way back from there.
And it is not as unconventional a relationship configuration as you may believe. If the gossips were to be believed, the councilors, guild masters, and much of the nobility are in similar relationships.
Regards, Ellie
Dear Ellie, So you're a woman, and I thought maybe you could help. I never know what to say to women in general, especially if they're pretty or kind or clever or actually really just in general if they're female and not old enough to be a great-grandmother. So how do I tell a woman I think she's pretty and kind and clever and so on if I can't string together a sentence the moment she smiles at me?
I mean, not that she'd notice me anyway, but still.
Kindest regards and thanks in advance for any help, -Unlucky in Love
Dear Unlucky, Such lack of confidence is rather unattractive in a man or a woman. If you wish to speak to her, simply speak to her. She is a hume, same as you. Aside from a matter of biology and skills, what separates you from her?
I would suggest taking a deep breath before speaking when she smiles at you. It will calm and center you. Failing that, a handwritten letter is always appreciated.
Best of luck, Ellie
Dear Ellie, I have met the most wonderful person, but I am worried about moving too fast or too slowly or saying or doing the wrong things. I'm so lucky to have met her, but I don't want to put her off by assuming things I shouldn't, as I've done in the past, or by overcompensating for those past mistakes, so I was wondering if you could maybe advise on the correct pace so that I don't scare her off or send the wrong message?
Thank you so much, Terrified and Shy
Dear Shy, This is a rather simple one if you think on it. If you are worried you are moving at a speed that is uncomfortable for her, ask. It is not uncommon to discuss the goals of a relationship, and a manner of setting goals is to set speed.
Also, if she has not made mention that the speed is unpleasant, then you are worrying for nothing. I have found that most women are not afraid of speaking their mind, and if the lady you are seeing has a problem with doing so, then there are other cues that you would be able to pick up on. Such as her not wanting to see you as often, or stiffening when you touch.
I think you worry too much, however. Simply relax and enjoy the beginning stages of your new relationship.
Kind regards, Ellie
Dear Ellie, I am dating a mage who has done much to protect the city from the last attack, but like all the other mages, is facing harassment from the citizens of Emillion. I am in the Fighter's Guild myself, and so I do what I can to protect him from the insults and sometimes more physical attacks, but the more I do it, and the more he tells me I do not need to, and the more, in the end, he pulls away from me. Do you know why he is doing this? When I ask myself he just gets angry and pulls away more.
Sincerely, Hurt and Confused
Dear Hurt, This is a rather delicate situation. The mages have been placed in a rather unfortunate situation, and it is difficult to understand their point of view. Were I to guess, I would say that he feels the need to prove himself. By you protecting him, you are sending the message that you do not feel he is capable of handling himself. The next time he comes across a problem, allow him to handle it himself. See if it makes a difference.
If it is truly distressing to you, express that to him. Do not question why he pulls away - such a tactic may seem aggressive to him. Instead, explain how you feel. Use I language rather than you.
Best of luck, Ellie
Dear Ellie, I moved to a new house with my family but one of the neighbors is kind of an idiot. I'm not going into detail but he keeps eyeing my sister when we see him on the street like he expects her to set his house on fire or something. My brother and I figured that's unfair and he's only like that because she's a mage so we tried to slip stinkbombs into his house because he stinks but now he's boarded most of the windows and keeps peering at our house through a gap in the blinds. Would you say the chimney is a safe delivery route?
Yours, Mage Defender
Dear Mage Defender, I should think so. Barring that, placing them near windows will ensure the smell seeps through the cracks.