Dear Ellie, I have a boyfriend who is always out of town for work, and sometimes he goes where it's difficult to reach him on the network and I don't hear from him on days on end. I know it's not his fault at all, but I miss him dreadfully and I try not to bother him too much but I worry about him all the time. I was wondering if you had any tips for how to cope with his absence? Thank you so much in advance! Sincerely, Lonely
Dear Lonely, A relationship whereupon one person is constantly absent puts a certain strain on it. If you, however, feel lonely, then you need to make it known. It is likely that your boyfriend is unaware of your feelings and simply needs to be informed of them. There is little use in denying yourself the reassurance you desire in exchange for the comfort of another. Best wishes, Ellie
Dear Ellie, I have been estranged from my family for most of my life. Recently, we have come to be reunited and I fear I am rather at a loss as to what to do. This is why I chose to write to you.
How does one build a familial relationship? I have seen few good examples of such. I must admit that at best I am not particularly social and such things as friendship or even conversation do not come to me with ease. We seem to have little in common save our shared heritage. I am afraid that once they know me, they may not like me very much. What can I do to ensure I am not left behind again? My sincere thanks, Worried
Dear Worried, It is always tricky to advise upon familial situations, however, if you have just come to be reunited, then an effort must be put forth to get to know one another. A shared heritage is a base for a relationship, but not a relationship in and of itself. I would suggest simply spending time together and taking things slowly. Patience and understanding are key at this juncture.
If they do not accept you as you are, then they are not worthy of you. Regards, Ellie
Dear Ellie, I'm in love. I've been in love with him for years. I finally got the courage to tell him how I feel, but he just told me he's in love with another woman. I don't want to disturb their relationship. I just want him to be happy, but it hurts. How can I make the hurting stop? - Loveless Lass
Dear Loveless Lass, Then wish him and well. Time eventually heals all hurts, but for the time being, I would suggest that you surround yourself with friends and focus on yourself. Perhaps take a trip out of town if you've the time and ability. I am afraid that there is no simple, easy cure for heartbreak. You can only take it one day at a time and trust that you will be fine with time. Best of luck, Ellie
Dear Ellie, How does a single boy in the city go about meeting a good man? I'm not hideous or anything, but I'm kind of shy. Most of the men I've met mostly seem interested in getting horizontal, if you know what I'm saying, and don't really want to get to know me. Is there any hope for me? -Lonely Lad
Dear Lonely Lad, There is always hope. There are many places that one could meet people. Have you tried the Church? There are several groups for singles that are very well attended. If you are not comfortable in such a venue, then there are quite a few taverns that do host a singles night on occasion. You will never get to know people if you do not talk to them, so perhaps you could take the initiative? Or, if you would like, I could introduce you to my nephew. I do believe he is looking to meet someone, as well. Regards, Ellie