Dear Ellie, My family really wants me to go into the Fighter's guild, but my heart is in music! I love the rich tonal textures of a song and it makes my heart soar! The rise and fall of a melody! The soul crunching and heart rending harmonies! My heart's a flutter just thinking about it all! But... My family says there's no real way to make a living like that, and I guess I am kinda starting late for either guild at the age of 16, but I just can't see myself being stuck in some stuffy suit of armor and parading around like I'm some holier than thou ass for the rest of my life! I mean, I want to make my family proud of me but... I just can't become a member of the fighter's guild without forever wondering "what if...?" I don't know what to do! Help? Sincerely, Soul of a Musician
Dear Soul of a Musician, That is quite the conundrum. My advice to you would be to follow your heart, though it may be hard at times. The path of a bard is a fulfilling one, but quite a difficult one, as well. Your family is quite correct: it is rather difficult to make a living if one is not exceptionally talented or has thick skin and the sort of perserverence that can see them through. And, if you decide to pursue the path of a fighter, there are several classes that do not ascribe to stuffy armor and a holier than thou attitude, and you could pursue music in your spare time. Regards, Ellie
dear ellie, i hate my boss. he's such a douchebag. i mean every time i look at him i just want to ram my fist into his face repeatedly. he just says certain things that peeve me. i've considered quitting at times, but in my profession you really can't. most of the time we're uncivilized. i've lost my mind on what to do. please help. yours, angry employee of the month
Dear Angry, My, my, my. That does seem to be a rather unpleasant situation. If quitting is not an option, perhaps a conversation with him where you discuss your concerns with him? If all else fails, simply apply yourself and take his job. Best of luck, Ellie
Dear Ellie, I hate my job. I'm not just being grand for sake of being grand here. I just really hate it. I've been made so angry that I've had to leave work early so that I didn't blow up at my boss a couple times over in the past few months. The working conditions are just getting worse and worse, my boss doesn't know what he's doing, his boss doesn't know what she's doing and I feel like I can't get anywhere in this job, but I'm so afraid of leaving. What if I hate my next job even more? What if I can't get another job? What if being stuck at the level of work I'm at is just going to be a constant problem for the rest of my life? It's been keeping me up at night and I don't know what to do anymore because I gotta do something. Best, Stuck In A Job
Dear Stuck, If your current situation is so deeply distressing, you've an obligation to yourself to change it. There are no certainties in life, and you may simply need to take a chance on improving your life. Take a risk, apply for things that sound of interest to you, or that
you are passionate about. If money is a concern, then take up a hobby or volunteer work in your spare time to balance out your life. However, it seems as though you need to leave this job before it completely destroys you. Concerned, Ellie
Dear Ellie, Most of the men I'm attracted to are at least a decade older than me, and they aren't interested in pursuing anything with me. What am I doing wrong? I don't think I'm ugly. Aren't men supposed to like younger women? Do I need to act older? Or should I just accept that I might be doomed to a life of pining after men who don't love me the way I love them? Please, please answer my letter, Ellie. Without your help, I'm afraid I'm going to be... -Alone Forever
Dear Alone Forever, I fear there are no easy answers. Depending upon your own age, the difference could be easily overcome. However, I find that if the age difference is between one in their twenties and one in their thirties or higher, it becomes quite difficult as there is just a world of difference in experience. One should fear the man in their twenties who preys upon young women - they are not seeking a relationship but a release. One should never change their behavior to attract another person; it will be the pretend persona the other falls for and not you.
Perhaps you could begin to find people among your own age or decade group and try your luck there? Else, I am afraid that is the best advice that I am able to impart. Best Wishes, Ellie
Dear Ellie, I'm starting to get up there in age and all my friends are either married, getting married or having babies and it's making me feel really left out since I'm not. I don't really know what to do about it and it makes me uncomfortable to be the third wheel at outings because I'm single or childless. It's not that I don't want to find someone, get married and have a child, I just don't feel like Mr. Right has come by yet, and I don't know what to do. Is it something wrong with me that I can't find anyone? Have I just not met the right person yet? Is there anyway I can not be upset about this and still spend time with my friends and their families without feeling like an unwelcome guest? Cordially, Tired Third
Dear Tired Third, First and foremost, there is nothing wrong with you. There is no right or wrong age that one should find themselves married at with progeny; if it does not feel right, then it is not right for you. As for your friends, have you attempted to arrange outings with just them and not with their progeny and significant other in tow? It may be as simple a fix as sitting down with your friends and explaining your feelings on the matter.
However, I will warn you that completely isolating their children and spouses could do more harm than good for your relationship. Perhaps gather all of your friends together every so often, invite along their spouses and children, and allow everyone to mingle. This way, you are not a third wheel, but a member of the group. Regards, Ellie