Your brother is Darius, right? I would want to be like him, too; he's pretty great. But I know what you mean about wanting to be out and protecting the city, though that's not to discredit what white mages do. It's just not the sort of class for everyone.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but it's in the power I feel when I have my bow. How it takes so much control and how good it feels to release the arrow, even better when it hits the target where you want it to. It's a craft, like learning any weapon or magic skill set.