Aspel Cassul: When in doubt, Aspel! (weaponry) wrote in emillion, @ 2014-01-16 13:20:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, !narrative, aspel cassul |
Is this just a game you play when you need to keep your mind from slipping?
Who: Aspel Cassul (Narrative)
What: A conversation…… Of sorts.
Where: Aspel’s apartment & The Armory.
When: Tonight.
Rating: PG?
Status: Complete.
“Faram.” Aspel’s hands raised, coming up to allow fingers to rub at her temples, a vague - although useless - attempt at banishing the headache that had begun to form through the increasingly loud noise of the day. Even as she sat at home, silence all around her - even her communicator shut off - noise raged within her skull, making each pulse of her heart, only add to the throbbing in her head. “No.” The response was weakly to the open air of the apartment with no others about. “Not now.” Though, it would seem this answer would not be found even remotely acceptable at a time like this. “Stop.” Aspel muttered. She’d attempted to compromise, to make offers, to even threaten at certain points but none of it had seemed to work. A low rumble ripped through the back of her skull again regardless. “No.” This time, the words were clearer, more firm, obvious in their resolve, and stance. Jaw locked tight, eyes squeezing shut as she prepared for the obviously expected response, and come it did. A boom that seemed to spike pain across the back of her eyes. A pain that made her wish that her skull would simply crack open, and let the demands, the anger, the frustration, the…. Anything. Let any of it out, let all of it out. Teeth clenched, fingers moving up to curl in her own hair. “No.” Hands cut through the air at a downward angle with a growl backing the word, frustration written across her face before the sharp metallic scrap inside her head earned a wince from the smith. “It is not the time, nor place.” Another low gravelly slamming about, and the pressure in her head increased. “You do not control.” The words were a punch, an attempt at usurping power, a grab at establishing dominance which they both knew in some deep reaches would never be the case. Certainly he listened, but he listened of his own accord. She was not the master in all. “If you will not quiet yourself, I will quiet you.” Another threat, one as easily laughed off - or at least what Aspel had come to know as the monster’s laugh - as the ones before. It was hollow, echoing, and filled with…. “I will quiet you in one manner or the next, beast.” Aspel snapped. Pushing up rapidly, the smith sharply turned, and bounded down the steps into The Armory, snatching up a smithing hammer, and a partial finished commission. “I shall make enough noise for the both of us.” Came the low murmur, a fire spell cast into the forge sparking it to life in seconds. Unfortunately, even with the work begun, the slamming of metal against metal, the burn of the forge, the catch, and run of the grinder, the beast inside her was still louder than she knew what to do. “I know.” Came the growled response at the accusation of her yearly trip having not been made. How she had not paid him tribute. “Tribute.” Aspel scoffed at the word used, at the notion of a sorts, but the response - a surge within her head was enough to make her next swing of hammer miss its mark entirely, coming to slam against the anvil instead. Teeth gritted as the roar came up once more, demanding freedom, demanding her action, her strength, her courage, her attention, her… “I cannot!” The hammer was raised and slammed back down into the anvil once more. Aspel’s jaw locked, muscles tensing, feeling like they were nearly about to lock her in place. “The risk is too great.” A whisper between clenched teeth was all she could manage, and the bashing of metal, the grinding, and gravely demands seemed to slow, and stop. “But you can.” “No.” Her voice cracked, breaking on the single word. Heading throbbing it threatened to put her on the brink of tears. “I can not. I…. Can not. The risk. This-” Though she was cut off, in a swirl of emotions that would not fully equate words, yet she understood. “The lies you tell your loves do not need to be your lies.” Swallowing hard, fingers shakily broke from the knuckle whitening grip she’d taken on the hammer as its head remained laid against the anvil. “Welcome me.” “No.” The whisper trembled from her lips. “Embrace ruin.” She couldn’t help the groan that slipped out, the swallow that followed. A new need was beginning to swell up inside her, to touch, to feel, to remember, to welcome the feelings she’d longed for, to have something else, something she’d……. “Take the joy I know.” The headache quickly was lessening, the thoughts within her head turning, shifting and changing. When they didn’t fight, it was so much easier, it was so much better, she did like him… Maybe if she just listened, maybe if she just…. A quickened pace moved her towards the windows, and door. The ‘closed’ sign was assured to be easily viewable, and the blinds would be easy to close. They could block out the city light, and block out what she’d always have, what she’d always know. They could block out the pain for a little bit, he could remind her of what she’d claim to have left, but what still haunted her soul. Maybe - just for tonight - no one else had to know. |