Violet Black (feldwebels) wrote in emillion, @ 2013-11-06 17:56:00 |
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Violet liked the evening services best. These were quieter masses than the Sunday mornings that were filled with young families and crying children. Incense filled the air and made everything hazy around the edges. There was a priest at the front of the church giving his last blessings and asking his audience to go in peace in the name of Faram. Violet responded, as did all those around her, with a quick thanks to Ajora. She waited for the room to empty out for a moment before getting out of the pew, kneeling before the altar, and making a quick exit. It was a relief that her heart felt lighter than it had for the past few days.
It was a cool night. The sort, she decided, that would make for a good walk through the Necrohol. But before she did that, she headed in the direction of the dormitory. Violet had spent the days following the Fete of the Holy Saints in something akin to hiding. She’d been in her bedroom, sleeping and thinking and feeling miserable, and was finally working her way out of this funk. Idly, she wondered if her Blades had even noticed her absence. If they had, she figured they probably only regarded this as time to relax without a stern woman breathing down their back.
Turning the corner, she found herself face-to-face with the kaplan. For once, the priest’s expression gave way to mild surprise. Amos stepped back, offering a respectful nod. The feldwebel’s hiding had been successful heretofore, and indeed the absence had not gone unnoticed. Even so, the priest knew better than to pry; surely the commanding officer would divulge what plagued her only if she so desired. However, he supposed, it would not be untoward to present her the opportunity.
“Good evening, Violet,” he said. “It is a pleasure to see you. Perhaps you might have time to speak a while?” He gestured mildly toward the locutory, which was as yet unoccupied.
Violet had known that it’d only been a matter of time before she’d bumped into one of her Blades. Better Amos than one of the others. Few of the Blades were capable of speaking about sensitive matters. And some were fairly well known to be gossips among the group. Violet would have hated being stumbled upon by one of them only to share an awkward word or two before darting away.
“Father,” Violet said, mildly surprised. She followed the point of his gaze. The locutory would likely be empty at this time of day. “Certainly,” she nodded. Her voice felt raw from days of silence, but it felt good to finally speak. “Lead the way.” Perhaps she wanted to talk, Violet mused for a moment. If this was the case, she wasn’t going to make it easy for Amos.
He did as she bade and walked into the locutory. A place for discussion amongst the residents of the monastery, it did not lack for comfortable seats and a pleasant ambiance. The priest pulled up two chairs, offering one to the feldwebel before taking one himself. As Amos sat, his posture was meek and unassuming. Such an appearance often did well to soothe those that came to him for direction and guidance.
And what was this if not similar? As the kaplan, his duty was to watch over the well-being of the Blades, both spiritual and physical. The difference in rank notwithstanding, Violet was certainly within the purview of his responsibility.
“We have seen little of you recently. I do hope you have been well?”
Amos was straight to the point and Violet could admire that, even though she didn’t much fancy getting into matters with the Kaplan. Violet knew, though, that it was important to have someone to speak to. And there was only so much of her spiritual troubles that the Hauptmann, her usual confidant, could handle in one sitting. Sitting back in her seat and crossing her legs gracefully, Violet looked Amos up and down once. She trusted her Kaplan, but that didn’t make it any easier.
Frowning, she spoke, “I had hoped my absence would have gone unnoticed.” But when part of a group as close knit as the Blades, she supposed, it was a silly thing to hope for. A smile slowly found its way to her face but didn’t reach her eyes. “I have not been especially well, but one copes.” She was trying to downplay it, she realized, which seemed a bit silly. “The holiday,” she clarified. “It’s my least favorite.”
The priest nodded; hers was not an uncommon sentiment. He was aware of why this might especially be the case for her, and so he took care to approach the topic delicately. “Were you able to visit your loved ones, if I may ask?” Amos paused in silent debate, before going on to offer some private thoughts of his own. “I was not able to visit with my own family, unfortunately.”
He had seen the Luscinis lined up at the service, of course, but they had taken pains to depart before he might have reached them. It was, decidedly, an arrangement about which he had no qualms.
“I went to an overcrowded service at the cathedral and then visited my husband and child in the Necrohol,” Violet said evenly. It was, perhaps, unfair to begrudge the people who flooded the spaces she typically held sacred on holidays, but she couldn’t quite help herself. It seemed an invasion and, already unpleasant because of what the holiday symbolized, she tended to take it out on strangers. “I don’t tend to see my remaining family. We aren’t close.” A pause. “I’m sorry to hear that you didn’t get to visit your own.”
Violet was grateful that Amos had given her a small distraction by mentioning his own family. It made things feel easier to speak of when she could quickly switch to the topic of his loved ones.
“Don’t be,” he said. “I am not particularly close to them either. In truth, I have long come to regard the members of the Cathedral as my family.” Amos offered a wan smile. “The Blades especially so.”
She did not seem to want to discuss the foregoing holiday any further. Respecting her unsaid wishes, the kaplan diverted his attention to other matters of interest. “In that vein, have you been adjusting well to your new position? I do believe you’ve given Rictor quite the challenge.” And, for his next words, he offered a respectful tilt of the head. “Moreover, your handling of recent events was, I must say, most admirable.”
Violet returned a smile to Amos and considered the idea of the Blades as family. She couldn’t quite see them through such a lense; family held a different meaning to Violet than it once had. It was a term seeped in loss and heartache and to replace one lost family with her charges seemed wrong somehow. Still, she cared deeply for the people she found herself responsible for. But there was a short distance that kept her from being too close. It was, she told herself, far better that way.
And then the topic changed and a grin slowly made its way to Violet’s face. “It’s been better,” she nodded. “I can hardly take credit for the work of so many others, but I’m glad we were able to scrub the sewers clean. And Rictor…” she paused, amusement dancing in her eyes, “he’s slowly acclimating to me.” The other Blades had grown accustomed to her sooner. Most trusted her well enough. Rictor was the last to fall and it was only a matter of time, no matter how grating he could be. “What do you think of my performance thus far, Amos? If I may be bold enough to ask?”
“Above reproach.”
The words were uttered without hesitation, for in the short duration of her holding the position, the feldwebel had won over the gardists (and though the korporal remained, there was no doubt that Rictor would soon fold) and spearheaded a crucial investigation. His assessment was therefore empirical, without sentiment. Violet had done her duty and done it well. The possibility that she would disappoint as yet remained, but Amos saw no reason to delve into speculation.
And so the kaplan rose then, perhaps intuiting that their conversation had come to a head. “Although,” he continued mildly, an edge of humour in his tone, “it would be a privilege to see more of you.”
That earned a rare sort of smile. It was nice to hear such positive feedback. It was a hard earned thing to receive praise among the Blades. Glancing over at the slight man, Violet rose, following his lead. There was an exit in the room that would lead up to stairs and the dormitories, which was exactly where she was headed. "Thank you, Amos. I do appreciate your concern." She gave him a small nod. "My door is always open."