Violet Black (feldwebels) wrote in emillion, @ 2013-11-01 18:22:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, !narrative, !plot: the eve of holy saints, violet black |
the world revives. colors renew. but i know blue, only blue, lonely blue.
Who: Violet Black
What: A silly family tradition as seen through the years
When: Fete of the Holy Saints, past and present.
Where: Various
Rating: S for sadness, PG
Status: Complete [Narrative]
At five years old, Violet Lafell had decided that the Fete of the Holy Saints was a far superior holiday to that of the Eve of the Holy Saints. Sure, the Eve held promises of treats and costumes and treks through the community, but Violet could reason that most days could be costuming days when your mother could sew as well as Hestia Lafell did. In the back of her closet, she had a few oft forgotten numbers that she'd whip out when especially bored. She could be a princess or a tiger or a dragon or a mage whenever she wanted. The fact that they were threadbare with use didn't bother her much.
The Eve lacked the sanctity that the Fete did. Always a fan of the Cathedral, Violet enjoyed the long trip there and liked watching the priests in funny clothes with wide eyes. The Cathedral was the prettiest place that Violet had ever been and it only made sense that Faram would live there. She smiled when her mother let her light a candle and place a gil in the collection box. She walked down the long center aisle on the way out staring at the statues with peaceful, happy faces.
And when they were home again, the Lafell family gathered around their modest table and dine. Her parents talked quietly amongst themselves, occasionally stopping to invite Violet into the conversation. She squirmed and asked if it was time yet. They reminded her that she first needed to finish dinner and change into her pajamas. Then she stuffed herself to bursting and excused herself to her bedroom.
By the time she returned, the table was cleared save for one white plate and a silver candle. Violet's bag of candy from the day before (what was left of it, anyway) waited for her on the seat.
"Would Gramma like the mint or chocolate best?" Violet asked, a large nightgown draped over her skinny frame.
"The mint," Hestia nodded sagely, smiling an oddly tight smile that Violet missed completely by stuffing the unwanted chocolate into her hungry mouth. "And we'll leave out a bit more for any other departed that decide to stop by."
"Alright," Violet shook her head in agreement.
"Now we'll say a quick prayer for the people we love and go to bed and this will all be gone in the morning."
Violet smiled wide and clasped her hands together like she'd done so many times before. She waited for her mother to start the prayer before joining in. If this wasn't magic, she didn't know what was.
***
At the age of eighteen, a very pregnant Violet Black immediately regretted the decision to fall into bed. It was a chore to get back up once she'd settled in to the soft mattress. "I forgot the candy!" she shouted into the hallway to her husband's advancing form.
"Which candy? I'll get it for you." Justinian, young and handsome, stuck his head into the room and rested his hand on the doorknob.
"Not for me, for the ghosts."
Justinian was used to his wife's small oddities. Still, he looked at her for a lingering moment with confusion on his face. "Huh?"
"It's a family thing." She grunted as she pushed herself up into a sitting position. Not for the first time, she wondered when she'd have her body back to herself. She couldn't resent her baby for taking up so much space, but she could be mildly annoyed about it. "Get me up, please," she said, voice faltering into something a bit more pathetic than she meant it to be.
He obliged, rushing forward and all but scooping her up into his arms. Violet laughed, having not intended for him to carry her around, but certainly not minding it. He laid a soft kiss on the crown of her head and Violet relaxed into him. "To the kitchen," she ordered, smiling.
He sat her down on a chair and then followed Violet's commands to get a dish, a candle, and some candy. When she had a small bag of sweets in front of her, she picked the best and unwrapped them before leaving them in the dish.
"Why are we doing this?"
"Because I always do this."
"Did you do this last year?"
"After you fell asleep," Violet said with a quick nod.
"And every year before that?"
"Yes." Violet had known Justinian as long as she'd known anyone. It felt odd having something so special be so hidden from him.
"Why?"
"Because the faithful departed deserve something nice on a holy night."
There was a brief pause and then Justinian reached for a match to light the candle. "That's fair."
Violet grinned as candlelight danced across her face.
***
At twenty-five, Violet Black was a single mother trying to find some magic for her child. As if to make up for the fact that Blue didn't have her father around anymore, Violet tried to make all the holidays stand out. She added extra special touches, did the sort of things her parents had always wanted to do for her but couldn't afford. On the Eve of the Holy Saints, not only had she paraded her daughter in the finest fairy-tale gown she could, she did it in the nice neighborhood because that's where you found the best candy. The day that followed, she'd made a large breakfast and taken Blue to the Cathedral in a pretty white gown. People stopped her on the street to dote on the child as Violet glowed with pride.
It was almost enough to stop her from feeling the ache that came from missing her husband.
After dinner, Violet had helped Blue change into a soft, two piece pajama set and then brushed and braided her hair. The little girl's belly was full and her cheeks pink and not for the first time, Violet recognized with warmth that she utterly belonged to this heart breaker of a child.
"Are we going to leave candy for daddy?" Blue asked, voice rising in pitch from childish excitement.
Violet smiled a tight smile. "Of course." She held out her hand, which Blue took and squeezed, "Come on." The pair marched into the kitchen and Violet reached for the plate and candle as Blue shifted through her bag of sweets. "So what's for daddy?"
"These," Blue said, laying three pieces of caramel out on the plate.
"Good choice," Violet said with a little nod. "And we should leave some more out for the other faithful departed."
"Okay."
Blue was tucked in bed within fifteen minutes and Violet found herself unable to hide the restlessness she'd been trying to stifle throughout the day. She walked from her daughter's room to her kitchen and she stared at the silver candle whose wax was only beginning to drip down. Not for the first time, she felt compelled to visit the Necrohol, but nothing good came of going there. Justinian was dead and Violet was forced to live on for their daughter.
Ignoring the sudden need for fresh air, Violet went to her empty bed. When she wrapped the sheets around herself, she tried to pretend they were her husband's arms. Part of her prayed that when she woke the caramels would be gone, but Violet was old enough to not believe in magic anymore.
***
At thirty-nine, Violet Black was alone. It was better that way. The Eve and Fete of the Holy Saints brought out a sullen depression that hung around her like storm clouds and didn't pass until the holiday was over. So Violet made herself scarce where the Blades might normally find her. She avoided her office and the halls where she'd normally take her meals. Once she'd finished at the orphanage, she went to the Cathedral for an overcrowded annual service. Shifting in her seat at the back of the hall as the man beside her coughed, Violet tried to keep from glowering. She wanted to look around and catch how many unfamiliar faces there were in the crowd, but most heads were bowed and it lacked a certain sort of grace to stare at people during mass, especially on a holy day. So instead, she kneeled in the pew and tried to drown out the soft murmuring voices around her by heeding the priest's words.
It didn't really work.
One could only hear the same prayers every year before growing bored of them. And so Violet found her attention slipping after the priest's second use of the term "faithful departed". Normally, the Cathedral brought a certain peace to her, but with so many people around, peace was difficult to find. Instead of feeling calm and thinking of Sainted Ajora, her mind wandered onto other topics. She thought vaguely of her husband and tried to blink away a sudden mist of tears. Then she spotted a small girl just a few rows ahead with braided hair and was reminded of Blue. She bowed her head and closed her eyes and waited impatiently for the service to end. It'd been a bad idea to attend this event, she'd known this well before she'd come. Violet chastised herself and thought that she'd have to return tomorrow when the Cathedral was empty to make up for letting her mind wander.
When it was over, Violet retreated to the Necrohol. There were people there, too, but they were fewer in number and seemed fairly distracted by their own losses. Violet didn't mind these people as much, perhaps because they all shared some sort of pain and if they felt even a fraction of what Violet felt, she figured they only deserved pity and solitude. The moon was high in the sky when Violet slipped into the Black family mausoleum.
There was a small window there, in the room that held the remains of her husband and child. Violet reached into her bag and set the candle there. Beside it, she placed candy. As she lit the candle, she was struck by how empty the gesture seemed without someone to share it with. Normally on her visits, she would speak to Justinian and Blue, tell them of her day, of the happenings in the city. For some reason, Violet had no words on the one night she was supposed to be honoring the dead. For a moment, she stood around, letting her fingers dance through the candle's fire. Then, sighing quietly, she rested her hand on the stone where their names were etched and then left with quiet apology hanging in the air.
When she eventually found herself in bed, she prayed for peace of mind and a dreamless sleep. Instead, she got restless sleep and dreams of the family who'd taken all the magic out of the world with their departures.