InsaneJournal

Liam Neeson and Robert Downey Jr - Talking
Liam looked into the glass of ice cubes and sparkling water. Not that he expected to find answers at the bottom of it. He still wondered what he was doing back here at times. He'd flown in from New York for yet another meeting, and after that, he'd had time to kill, he had a room upstairs that he could stare at the four walls of, but at least down here there were people talking. He was trying really hard not to remember it was the first time he'd been here with Natasha, but it was and that wasn't going away. He could see so many couples, and it was almost worse to watch them here, the intimacy that might not be as evident in the scening rooms, the possessive hands on collars, the gentle kisses, boys kneeling at the feet of their Doms. He sighed softly. It was worse not seeing it, not knowing that there were people who understood this. That was why he was back here, he'd tried to live without this in his life, but it hadn't worked.

He wasn't looking for someone. It was still too soon. He definitely couldn't think of a woman he'd be able to let take him down, and most men seemed to be more interested in his taking them down, which he had no idea about, or perhaps he wasn't ready for that either. He was just... lost. Adrift, no anchor left to him. He'd thought Natasha was that anchor, but he was starting to realise that it was a little more complicated than that. It wasn't that he had forgotten her, or would ever be able to. That simply wasn't an option. But as much as he had been attached to her, as much as she had owned his heart and soul, she hadn't been the first. He was very slowly starting to realise that maybe he would be able to let himself be with someone else, even if it was just a friend or someone he felt close to. He wasn't ready yet, but he was starting to realise that he didn't need to be alone forever.