Faihan 🎙️ Badr (gameel) wrote in elysia, @ 2022-02-08 22:55:00 |
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Entry tags: | character: badr al-asrar marwan, player: mikey, type: maginetwork |
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[Private: Gaius & Kyoujiro]
I have secured Cinna's help, to ensure that the posting of this is private, though I have not shared with her what I intend to say here.
The letters used in the names are very old, and I may have incorrectly translated them. My grasp of the Old Language is better than most, and yet imperfect, as anyone who never spoke it at the time. Some of[...]her metaphors[...]were difficult to grasp, but I have tried to simplify them into a tangible meaning.
Though perhaps in doing so, I have lost some meaning of hers.
Some secret language inside our ancient language.[...]
She asked if I was truly ready to behold what I had taken. But what difference does it make, to see a lie revealed now or later?Beloved Erlantz, sun of my soul…
I have thought of you every day. We speak not your name, but it is spoken by every beat of my heart. And truly, I have thought many days I might perish, for my heart rages against my bones, begs for you, and we cannot see one another again. It must always live denied.
But know that my people, my country, this Simurgh, we will dedicate ourselves always to the safekeeping of our crystals, until we are needed again.
For how could we ever be grateful enough for Itzal’s sacrifice? We have lost a needed soul, but the crystals have recovered their warmth and their shine, and I will cherish them doubly for it. May I never forget what we were gifted that day. Nay, I shall never. My guardianship of these crystals will be proof of this vow.
I shall never let his memory fade, not to my last breath.
Too, I have seen that the map of stars has been placed in safety and sanctity, as we did accord. This, as well, will be proof—my last vow to you, kept always in Simurgh’s heart.
I think of how we lived, tired always, but bolstered by our strength. It is that courage that will carry me forever and onwards. That I will not see our friends again is a bitter price, but to know that we will live all our days in grace and peace…I cannot regret it. When I miss them, I will think of their smiles and hope that we are smiling together, though we are far away.
Still, I will allow myself to weep just once more, for I will never again see the brush of sunset hanging in your garnet eyes. I will miss the breadth of your shoulders as you walked forward, always bravely, always towards the horizon, and ever in kindness, leading us into courage at every step. That I will never thread my fingers through your chestnut hair, see the way the sun honeyed its strands, watch you fall asleep upon my knee…
Each morning I wake and think of how we laughed together, how you mocked my cooking, how you smiled when you knew I was weary, and carried my load so many more times than you should. I shall miss stitching the rents in your cloak, miss the hum of your voice warming my skin under starlit nights, and I fear—no, I seethe with a jealousy that burns me throughout that another shall be the one to tend to your troubles now.
I will allow myself one last night to miss you, to yearn for you, to love you.
I hope that perhaps, one day, when all of this is so far in the past that it matters not; when enough time has passed that those who follow us are free…I hope that ours will find each other, that they will enjoy a love we could not.
I pray that someday, Song and Light will be as one.
I will remind myself of Itzal till then, for what I give up is nothing in comparison. The years that were purchased on our behalf, the time we have been given to prepare for what’s to come…
A bitter loss for us all.
Yet I know it is nothing like what you have lost in it.
I will not be there to comfort you anymore, but when I look upon those vowed stars, know that I hold you still, secretly, in my heart. Know that, my dearest one. I will not speak of it, and I will not dwell, but I will not deny you that, nor myself. I hope that you will feel my presence under the night’s shroud, that you will know that there has never, will never, be another that illuminates me as you have. And I will pray that you feel the warmth of that illumination, even in my absence; that somehow, should you ever lose your way, thoughts of me might light it once more.
My love, when are reborn, let us meet again. Let us be together. Let us walk our path side by side and never part. Let all we have lost in this life be payment, that we never are troubled to be apart again.
Until the next life…
Your Kamaria
[Private: Titus]
Your eyes, too, remind me of garnets I realize. There is a trace of sap in them when they catch the light, but for all the amber in them, they stay steady, soft, brown...
Titus[...]
I don't[...]
The earth beneath us
It was water all along