Fic: Neelix in Boots - Janeway/Chakotay - PG13 Title: Neelix in Boots Author: elfflame and foodie Pairing: Janeway/Chakotay Rating: PG13 Summary: Chakotay seeks help to win the woman he wants. Disclaimer: Voyager and all its inhabitants are owned by Paramount. Despite the fact that they completely ignored and avoided certain storylines. Therefore, we decided to write something to correct this oversight. A/N: This story is the sequel to Captainella, and is set immediately after. Still set shortly after the destruction of Seska and the Kazon. This one is very loosely based on “Puss in Boots”.
Once upon a time on a ship far from home, there was a commander who felt undervalued. He was in love with his beautiful captain, but she refused to admit her own feelings. Not only did she deny her feelings, but at a ball the night before, the commander had unmasked her, and so she had fled from the holodeck. Now, she was even more formal with him than before.
Speculation ran rampant through the crew—they were having a secret affair, they were having a lover’s quarrel, she had spurned him, he had spurned her… On and on the speculations went. Tom was running pools on when they would get together, who would give in first, and several others.
Chakotay sighed. He would be thrilled if it were a secret affair, or a lover’s quarrel, but how was he supposed to break through her resistance to any relationship at all? Before he had known his mystery woman was the Captain, he had thought that figuring out who she was would be the end of it—or at least the beginning of something more. Instead, she had fled as though he had threatened to kill her. How could he convince her that there was nothing wrong with being with him? If only she would let go of her fears.
And that was when Neelix interrupted him. Thinking it his duty as morale officer to cheer up unhappy crewmembers, Neelix felt it was his job to speak to Chakotay, who had been moping over breakfast for more than an hour. “So commander, when Kes and I started dating, her parents didn’t approve of their daughter dating a Talaxian. But look at us now, we’re as happy as can be!” A grin to make any Cheshire cat jealous spread across his face. Looking expectantly at the commander, he waited for his response.
“And?”
“I’m just trying to reassure you that things will work out, commander.”
“Neelix, I know you’re trying to help, but nothing’s going to help unless I figure out a way to get through to Janeway.”
“Well commander, maybe we can strike up a bargain…”
“What kind of bargain?”
“One that would help both of us out…” That huge grin returned to his face.
“How?”
“Well, you see, commander, I’d really like to impress Kes, and so if I could get some Starfleet-issue boots, I’d be well on the way to doing just that. Unfortunately, I’ve been told that they are only for uniform use. So, if you could get me a pair, I think I could help you out with your problem…”
“Boots? What could you possibly do to help me that would be worth my time to get them for you?”
“Well…”
* * *
Kathryn sat in her ready room, lost in thought. How could she have let things get so out of hand? It was all her fault. She should not even have gone the first time. Now it was too late. How could she face her crew after the way she had acted?
Even worse, everyone noticed her when she ran out. If only she’d transported from the holodeck to her quarters. Then no one would have seen her, and she could have contained this. Instead, now everyone knew something was going on, and the rumors were out of control. She needed to find a way to stop it all. Starting with Tom Paris. She could just imagine the trouble he was getting into already.
Perhaps it was time to call in Tuvok’s help.
* * *
Chakotay stood outside Tom’s quarters. When Tom opened the door and saw him, he turned white. “Commander…uh…”
Chakotay grinned. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
“Ah…well…I have a guest, commander…”
“Really? I hope they’re not late for their duty shift, Lieutenant.”
“No, commander, I’m sure they’re not.” Tom shifted uncomfortably. “Can I help you with something, commander?”
“Could you come meet me at the holodeck imaging chamber once your friend is gone?”
“Sure, commander. I’ll be there in a moment.”
Chakotay grinned. “As quick as that? Hope she won’t be too disappointed.”
Janeway finally felt relaxed. She leaned back in her chair as she sipped her coffee. Talking to Tuvok really helped. He was such a calming influence. This would pass. Everything did. And if it didn’t she knew who to blame. After all, Tom never let anything go for too long. But she knew how to nip that in the bud. Threatening him with a loss of replicator privileges would do it.
Now if only she could stop the betting…
At that moment, the door chime sounded. “Come,” she said, almost at the same time as Neelix burst into the room.
“Captain! You have to see what we found running on the holodeck.”
“What is it? Is it important?”
“It has to do with you and the Commander.”
She stiffened. “In what way?”
“Just come and see. I can’t quite describe it.”
Entering the holodeck with Neelix at her side, Janeway was horrified by what she saw. Images of she and Chakotay dancing together drifted by, first at one ball, then the next, culminating in her unmasking, then returning once more to the first ball and starting over again. Her first thought was, how could Chakotay humiliate her this way? And yet, perhaps this wasn’t Chakotay at all. But who else would do something like this? And what would Chakotay gain from doing this to her?
“Who found this, Neelix?”
“Tom. He was about to create a new program when he noticed something was already running.”
“There wasn’t anyone on the holodeck when he checked?”
“No one.”
“Who created the program?”
“That’s the weird thing. The computer has it listed as one of your programs.”
Janeway growled. “Computer. Delete program. Now.”
The images faded, and all that was left was the grid of the holodeck.
“Thank you Neelix. I’ll have to look into this.”
“Of course Captain. I’ll do a bit of looking into it myself.”
Janeway gritted her teeth. “Thank you, Neelix, but I think I’ll deal with this myself. Could you just not mention it to anyone who doesn’t already know?” She stormed out of the holodeck.
Back in her ready room, Janeway waited for Tuvok to arrive. He was the only one in the crew that she trusted to find out what was really going on.
When the door chimed, she jumped. “Come.” Tuvok walked in and looked at her, his head askance.
“You wanted to speak with me, Captain?”
“Someone on this ship is trying to undermine me, Tuvok. I need you to find out what’s going on.”
“What would you like me to do about it, Captain?” asked Tuvok.
“How about if we…”
In Chakotay’s quarters, he and Neelix sat making further plans.
“Should we do something on the holodeck again, or something else?”
Chakotay frowned. “I don’t know. I don’t think it would be wise to upset her too much. But maybe once more, at least. Maybe something original…something that hasn’t happened.” Yet, he thought to himself.
* * *
Neelix and Tom worked feverishly through the night to create the perfect program to crack their captain’s steely façade.
Tuvok’s time was spent investigating. Unfortunately for his captain, he made little headway.
Janeway slept fitfully, tossing and turning. Her dreams filled with images of Chakotay, her waking thoughts little different.
Chakotay’s sleep was much sweeter. His dreams filled with images of a woman he hoped would soon be his.
* * *
The next day, back on the bridge, Janeway was more formal than ever. Chakotay wanted to reach out to her, but he restrained himself and said nothing, understanding the “mood” she was in. Her terse “report” was answered just as formally, though he wished that she would open up to him a little. Once his report was given, she disappeared into her ready room once more.
It was only a few moments before Neelix appeared again. “Captain, it’s happened again.”
Walking to the holodeck, she asked who had found it this time. “Ensign Thomas, Captain. It was just like before. He found it running.”
“Great, this means everyone knows now, right?”
As they entered the holodeck, Janeway was horrified. This time, the scene was not something she recognized. At least not as much. It was the scene of Janeway and Chakotay’s first meeting two years before. However, instead of looking at each other like enemies, this Janeway and Chakotay looked devouringly at each other. The witty barbs they threw at each other held thinly veiled sexual innuendos.
Janeway could not handle what she saw. She ran from the holodeck and rushed to the nearest turbolift. Once alone, she exploded, slamming her fists painfully into the wall of the turbolift. She growled, “I’m going to kill whoever’s behind this.”
When she reached the bridge, she nearly yanked Tuvok from his post and dragged him to her ready room.
“Captain, was this emotional outburst really necessary?”
Janeway paced back and forth across her ready room. “We have to find whoever is doing this to me. Have you made any headway?”
“I checked the holodeck program log, and according to that, the first program was created by Lieutenant Paris, but it was accessed last by Neelix.”
“Do you think that Paris could have done it?”
“There is always a possibility that someone else could have programmed it, then changed the codes to make it look as though Paris was responsible.”
“How likely is that?”
“I’m not sure. I’ll have to look into it further.”
“What are you waiting for? I want a list on my desk by tomorrow.”
“I will do my best, Captain.”
Back in Chakotay’s quarters, Neelix was relating Janeway’s response. “So what do you think, Commander?”
“I think one more ought to do the trick. If she doesn’t turn to me then, we’ll have to figure out something else.”
* * *
Neelix and Tom worked feverishly through the night to create the final program, working from notes left them by Chakotay.
Tuvok investigated once more. Unfortunately there was nothing for him to find.
Janeway did not sleep at all. Her night was spent pacing in her cabin, worrying what the morning would bring.
Chakotay slept well, dreaming of the Captain running to his arms for comfort.
* * *
The next morning, Janeway and Chakotay found themselves on the same turbolift heading to the bridge. The normally friendly atmosphere was replaced with an uncomfortable silence. Chakotay made several attempts to get a conversation going, but each attempt was met with little more than a grunt. The moment the doors opened on the bridge, Janeway disappeared into her ready room.
“Nice talking with you,” Chakotay mumbled to himself as he took his seat.
In her ready room, Janeway paced back and forth, glancing warily at the door with increasing frequency as the moments passed. If she was lucky, Tuvok would be there momentarily, but if Neelix came through that door one more time…
The door swooshed open, and Janeway jumped.
“Are you all right, Captain?” Tuvok asked.
She took a deep breath and sank into her chair. “No. Tell me you found something.”
“I’m afraid that every lead has been a dead end so far, Captain. If the Lieutenant did not write the program, then there is no way to recover who did.”
“What options do we have?”
“None, I’m afraid. There’s no way we can find out for sure who wrote the program.”
“So work backwards. Who are the most likely people to do this?”
“Well, Captain…”
At that moment, the door chime sounded.
Please don’t let it be Neelix, she thought. “Come?”
Harry came in. “Here’s my report from last week, Captain.”
“Thank you, Kim. You’re excused.”
“Yes ma’am.”
As Harry exited her ready room, Janeway breathed a sigh of relief. But it was too soon. The intercom sounded. “Captain?” It was Neelix.
Janeway gritted her teeth. “Yes, Neelix? Let me guess, there’s something on the holodeck I should see, right?”
Several minutes passed as she slowly, reluctantly, made her way to the holodeck. Dreading what she knew she would see, she walked into the room and found Neelix waiting for her. What she saw was so much worse than the other times. The new program, unlike the two before it, was something only she and Commander Chakotay knew about. But now, the whole ship would know.
What she saw was herself and the Commander on New Earth, the night that he told her the tale of the Angry Warrior. She knew what might have come next and now most of the crew would know too. “Who found it this time?”
“B’Elanna.”
She closed her eyes. “No.” She turned on her heel and sped from the room. She didn’t stop until she was alone in her quarters.
* * *
That night, the rumors swept the ship once more. Everyone knew of the holodeck images. What they didn’t know was what they meant.
The Captain was unavailable. None of her pages were answered, and no answer came when her door call was buzzed.
The senior staff met to deal with the crisis, Chakotay making sure that every shift would be covered. After the meeting, he and Tuvok met in the Captain’s ready room.
“So, Commander, how do you intend on handling this?” Tuvok asked.
Chakotay grimaced. “I’m not sure. I suppose if I don’t try to talk to her, things will only get worse. Any advice on how to approach her?”
Tuvok raised an eyebrow. “In a projectile-proof vest?”
“Gee, thanks. I didn’t know you had a sense of humor.”
“There are a lot of things you don’t know, obviously.”
Chakotay grimaced again. “Well, I’m sure I’m about to learn.”
Outside Janeway’s quarters, Chakotay pondered what he should do. There would probably be no response to any page, so Tuvok had given him security overrides, but he didn’t want to just barge in. Still, he thought he should at least give her a chance to respond. He pressed the door buzzer, but there was no response. He pressed his com-badge. “Captain, this is Chakotay…” Still no response. “Captain, I need to speak with you…” Nothing. “Captain, please respond…” Nothing again. “Captain, are you all right?” …. “Captain, if you don’t respond in the next minute, I’m afraid I’m going to have to use the override command to open your door myself.”
Finally her voice came clearly through the com. “Leave me alone.”
“Captain?”
“What do you want?”
“We need to talk.”
“I don’t need to talk about anything. Just leave me alone.”
“Captain, you are abandoning your crew. I can’t just leave you alone.” There was no response. “Captain, I’m going to have to relieve you of duty if you don’t resume your post.”
The door opened. Janeway looked rumpled and tear streaked, and her face was gray with fatigue. “You wouldn’t dare,” she growled.
“Not only would I dare, but it’s my sworn duty to you and the crew. They can’t have a Captain who refuses to lead them.”
Janeway glared at him.
“Kathryn, let me help you…” he reached out to touch her arm, and she backed away.
“Don’t touch me!” She ran to the couch and huddled in the corner.
Chakotay stepped inside and closed the door behind him, setting the security locks. He turned to look at her. She was pitiful. Her hair was unbrushed, and there were dark circles that looked more like bruises under her eyes. “When was the last time you ate?”
“I’m not hungry.”
Chakotay went to the replicator. “One cup coffee, hot.” It materialized, and he took it to her. “At least drink something.” She took the mug, and he sat down next to her. “Kathryn, I know the last few days have been hard, but if you hide from this, it will only get worse. I just don’t think things are as bad as you think they are.” In the next moment, Chakotay had coffee in his lap. He jumped up, shouting, “Damn, that’s hot!”
Janeway was on her feet as well. “You have no idea what this has been like for me. We’re so past worst. Worst was three days ago. This is hell! You hypocrite. For you, this is a walk in the park. You wanted this to happen. Maybe you were even behind it!”
“Would it help if I said I was?”
Janeway became completely calm. She moved directly in front of him. “Do you want to die, Chakotay? I don’t need you adding to my mental torment. Say what you mean, or get the hell out.”
Chakotay braced himself. “I never meant to hurt you.”
She slapped him. “You bastard. You never meant… Get out!” She spun on her heel to go to her bedroom, but he caught her arm.
“Damn it, Kathryn, I just wanted you to realize how you feel about me. Do you understand how the way you ignored what we meant to each other did to me?”
She turned to look at him. “You knew there could never be any more between us. It’s not professional.”
“Maybe I don’t want to be professional. Kathryn, even if we never did anything else, these feelings will always be there, and always affect how we do our jobs. If I’m going to suffer the affects anyway, I want to get a little of the benefits.”
“So making me suffer these past few days has been beneficial?”
“I’m truly sorry that the programs have upset you as much as they did. I only wanted you to see that it couldn’t possibly be as damaging as you think it is. Life on this ship hasn’t changed in the past few days. The only thing that has changed is you.”
“So you’re saying that making the Captain of this ship a laughingstock won’t change the way the crew interacts with me?”
“They’re not laughing at you, Kathryn. They’re worried about you. Haven’t you heard all of the pages? Paris, Kim and Torres are all concerned for your safety. They each volunteered to be the one to come talk to you instead of me.”
“Then why didn’t you chicken out, the way you did when you made those holodeck programs?”
“Because I honestly never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to make you understand your own feelings.”
“How would you know what my feelings are?”
“Because they echo mine. Can you honestly say that you have no feelings for me?”
“Please! You have no idea how I feel.”
“Aren’t you the one who came to the balls disguised as someone else, just so you could dance with me?”
“You are so full of yourself! What makes you think that had ANYTHING to do with you?”
“How about the fact that you spent every moment at all the balls with me?”
She pulled away from him. “So?”
“So! What does that mean? Are you going to avoid this forever, Kathryn?”
“Damn you, Chakotay! I’m just trying to do what’s best for this ship.”
“And how does deserting them help?”
She slapped him again. He grabbed her wrist before she could pull it back. “I won’t let you avoid this any more, Kathryn. When I leave these quarters, one of three things will have happened: either you will come to terms with your feelings for me, or we will avoid each other at all times, hardly speaking to each other ever again, or I will make sure that you are relieved of duty—permanently.”
She struggled against his grasp. “Why can’t you just leave this alone?”
“I’m sick of leaving this alone. I’ve been leaving it alone for far too long. Perhaps I should have pushed sooner, then we wouldn’t be where we are now.” He let go of her and sat down on the couch. “So, what’s your choice Kathryn? It’s been your choice all along. I’ve just been stupid enough to think that you’d make the choice on your own.”
“But how could you think that making those programs would help? Don’t you understand how humiliating that was to me?”
“Kathryn…”
“Why didn’t you come to talk to me earlier? Why didn’t you just talk to me about this without the public humiliation? How could you think that would be okay? What were you thinking that would allow you to hurt me this way? What made you want to hurt me like this? How did you think that creating such humiliating holoprograms would make me see the error of my ways and fall madly in love with you?”
“Stop! You need to slow down. I just wanted to show you how it could be. I didn’t think that they would make you so upset. I thought that they would show you how happy we could be together.
“I honestly want to work this through with you. I never intended to hurt you, and I’m very sorry I did. I’m honestly sorry you felt humiliated, but truly, the crew is no more than concerned about you. Just as they would feel about any crewmember who was upset. As for why I never came to you, any time I tried to broach the subject, you managed to avoid it. After several conversations like that, I gave up. And I probably would have let it lie, but you gave me hope—and then killed it. What was I supposed to do, Kathryn?”
“How would you feel if someone humiliated you that way?”
“You mean like if someone disguised herself three times and didn’t tell me who she was?”
“That’s just not as humiliating, Chakotay.”
“To you, perhaps. I felt pretty humiliated. But at least I put myself out there instead of withdrawing. I don’t care what you say, Kathryn. Starfleet couldn’t have intended you to be alone for most of your life just because there are no people here who are not in the chain of command.”
“Maybe I want to be alone.”
“If you want to want to be alone, I’m sure Tuvok, the Doctor and I can arrange that. Is that really what you want?”
“Damn you, Chakotay.” She stormed to where he sat, and reached out to slap him a third time.
He grabbed her hand. “No. Not again. Is that all you can do? Do you really think that’s helping? Maybe you should try something else?” He stood and looked down at her, his arms crossed.
“What do you mean?”
”Maybe you really want to do something else, so you’re slapping me to piss me off so that you don’t have to?”
She flushed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t you?”
She abruptly turned and picked the coffee mug from where she had placed it on the table and threw it across the room. “Damn you!”
“Feel better?”
She spun on him. “Get out of my head! You think you know what I’m feeling. You have no idea!”
“So what are you feeling, Kathryn?”
“Frustrated. Angry. Furious. At you.” She said as she jabbed him with her finger, then turned away from him. Looking at the floor, she added: “At me. I should never have let things go so far. This is all my fault.”
He wrapped his arms around her. “You know that’s not true, Kathryn.”
“It is true. I’m the Captain. I should always be in control.”
He turned her in his arms. “You’re human. You’re allowed to be out of control sometimes.”
“Not this time, not like this. It’s not fair to anybody.”
“Stop. You always blame yourself. What you need to do is work through this. Isn’t there a chance that you could give us a try? We could keep it private, so the crew wouldn’t know. And if it doesn’t work out, I’ll back off. I just want the chance to spend time with you. I care about you, Kathryn.”
“I don’t know… Give me time to think.”
“Haven’t you already had enough time to think?”
“Chakotay…”
“It’s a yes or no thing, Kathryn.”
“I just can’t…”
He released her. “Forget it. Call me when you decide, Kathryn.” He turned and walked to the door.
“Chakotay, wait.”
He turned back to her. “Why?”
“No one would know?”
“Not unless you wanted them to.”
“And if I decided to end it?”
“I’d walk away. No hard feelings.”
“I’m just worried what this could do…”
“What could it do? Make us happy?”
“Happy wouldn’t be so bad.” She stepped forward into his waiting arms. “I’m just scared…”
He lifted her face. “You don’t have to be.”
Their lips touched, and Kathryn was not afraid anymore.
* * *
The next day, Neelix surprised Kes with his brand new outfit, complete with boots.