| 6:20p |
Cue maniacal laughter in 3. . . 2. . .
At precisely 4:01 and 20.5 seconds in the afternoon, anyone who is watching those ker-aaazy Japanese animations on the cartoon channel is going to have their transmission mysteriously cut off!
And there will be static. And then silence.
And then?
"Mua ha ha ha ha ha ha ha AHA AHA AHAHAHAHHAAA!!!"
See that face? It's wider, pastier, pimplier, and uglier than when you saw it last. If you ever saw it last. But oh, if you don't know him, you will.
You will.
"GREETINGS, TITANS!!" he begins, giving a melodramatic sneer worthy of a Mexican soap opera. "I know it's been awhile. Did you miss me!? Because your ultimate nemesis, CONTROL FREAK, has RETUUURNED!!"
The mania ascends quickly to wild glee. "And this time you'll never find out where I am. Until it's too late! Oh! And your precious mainstream dub Japanese cartoons!? They're called anime. And until these n00bs stop slapping on censoring and figure out how to translate it right!?
You're not getting any!
Aha! AHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA-- uh?"
He cuts off and whips an enraged look to the side. "What do you mean, you ARE!? You numbwits!! You don't DUB anime! It's ART!! And you took out all the Japanese-- what!? My fansubs make PERFECT sense!!" He waves the remote clutched in one greasy paw, the unholy union of a Voyager-era phaser and Card Captor Sakura's magic wand. "Do not you diss my fansubs." The scowl would be more menacing without the Cheeto-dust, but there's no further noise from the peanut gallery. "And Pretear!? Pretear was a disgrace!! A disgrace!" He wilts into a wistful sigh. "She should've fallen in love with the villain SO much earlier~...
...
was this still on?"
[Click!] |