No Going Back Title: No Going Back Author: escapist_art Pairing: DM/EW Word Count: 1529 Rating: NC17 Disclaimer: I do not know Dominic Monaghan, Elijah Wood, Evangeline Lilly or Billy Boyd, this is a fictional tale only meant for entertainment purposes. None of this is fact, and though the characters may be based on real people, this story is in no way a reflection of their true characters or lives. Summary: Dom and Elijah both end relationships at the same time. Author's Notes: This is one of my first shared stories.
It had been a few weeks since Dom had broken things off with Evi. There were still broken pieces inside of him, sharp, unforgiving. If he took too deep a breath he could feel them jabbing at his insides. For a while afterward he'd hidden from his friends, not because he was ashamed, but because he couldn't take care of them and their needs any more. There was barely enough left inside of him to take care of himself.
Billy had been angry with him; they'd had words more then once since the break-up, and it was adding to the strain. Really, he understood Billy's anger. He'd only wanted Dom to tell his side of things; to defend himself against the reports that were coming out about what had happened. Dom didn't want to do that, didn't want to hurt Evi any more than he already had, didn't want to share the intimate details of his life just to make himself look better. People would believe what they wanted to believe anyway.
Then there was Elijah, who was still reeling over the break-up of his own relationship. It was even harder on him because he'd been in love with the other man for so long; had fought with his friends over how he'd been treated by him, had fought with his family over being with a man so much older than him. There had been many problems in their relationship, some of which mirrored Dom's problems with Evi so closely that it hurt him to hear how they had affected Lij. Not that Dom had been anywhere near as hurtful to Evi, at least not intentionally. He wanted to be there for Elijah, wanted to let Elijah vent to him, it was just more than Dom could handle in the end.
Dom's other close friends had other things going on in their lives, and he just didn't want to bring them down with all of his emotional pain. The tabloids had been taking quite a go at him, saying all kinds of things that were nowhere near true nor accurate. Of course they always said them in such a way that would prevent him from suing for slander or libel, or said things that he had no way to disprove.
At any rate, he'd felt beaten down, too tired to fight. He had to keep up with the filming schedule, but other than that he just went into hiding. Of course he'd sent messages to everyone that he was going off to be alone so that they wouldn't worry about not hearing from him. Every day when filming was over he would head right for his car, driving out to a private retreat hidden away in the mountains. Even socializing with the rest of the cast was out because Evi would be there, and she was still trying to get back together with him. He'd tried to convince her that there was no going back, but she just wouldn't give up. It was almost frightening, really.
His relationship with Evangeline had ended over two issues: sex and honesty. From the start he'd been honest with her about who he was and what he expected and needed in a relationship. Monogamy was out for him, he'd been very clear about that. She told him that was fine with her, that it made no difference, but that had proven to be untrue. Of course by the time he realized that it really did matter to her they were already engaged, and Dom was deeply in love with her.
There were other issues as well, all of them related to sex in one way or another. There were pregnancy scares, birth control issues, her obsession with wanting to get pregnant; her insistence first that he wear a condom, then that he not wear one. The final straw was when she told him he could take his rough sex and have it with other people, and just make love to her. After that he couldn't even imagine ever having sex with her again without worrying whether she was actually enjoying it, or just going along with it in order to keep him. She was afraid of being truthful with him because the truth would split them up, and it did. That being the case though, they really didn't belong together in the first place.
Ever since that final day with Evi he had entirely lost his sex drive. This of all things was especially distressing to his friends, not because they wanted to have sex with him, but because it was as if a major part of him had died. Dom was the most sexual person that they knew, so hearing him say that he didn't want to have sex ever again set off all kinds of alarms for them. Of course they had their own projects to work on at the time, and their own issues, so they couldn't come and check on him.
When he finally went back to his house and checked his machine there were dozens of worried messages from his friends and family, and more than a handful from Evi. Too many for him to deal with right away. Even knowing that he had planned the break in contact didn't settle their minds that well. The last couple of messages from Elijah sent him into a bit of a panic, though. Lij had rearranged the filming schedule of the Indie film he was working on so that he could spend almost two weeks with Dom. In fact, it sounded like he would be arriving very soon.
"Oh, bloody hell!" Dom muttered to himself as he flung his keys into the glass bowl on the counter. Not that he didn't love Elijah, or want to see him, just that he needed a little more time alone. Time not spent worrying over someone else's needs.
"Don't you want to see me?" came the plaintive words from behind Dom, making him spin on his heels, his heart leaping with shock. "Elijah?! What the...? No, of course I want to see you, love!" In the few quick strides it took to get to his guest bedroom doorway he had his arms wrapped around Elijah, his face pressed against the short fuzz that was his hair.
"I just...God I've missed you!" Inside Dom's chest his heart was thumping hard, the pain of earlier either replaced or at least hidden by the love welling up instead. For several long minutes they clung to one another, their bodies such a perfect fit that they seemed welded into one mass. Both of them needed this tenderness, needed to feel the safety of the other's arms. It was Elijah who broke it off, withdrawing his arms and pressing gently on Dom's shoulders, forcing him to release the tight grip his arms made around Elijah's middle.
Examining Dom's face as he drew back, he could clearly see the glistening moisture in his eyes threatening to spill over. With a confused look he demanded, "What was that 'bloody hell,' about, Dom? Huh? Don't you want me here? Because I could go..."
Dom's face looked pained as he shook his head no, "Don't go Lij, don't be mad." His hands went to rest on Elijah's hips, still holding him near, as he gave him an embarrassed smile and shook his head. "I don't know, it was just unexpected, and I'm...," biting his lower lip to fend off the gathering tears, then letting out a deep sigh, he continued, "I'm just not back to being myself yet is all. I'm afraid I won't be good company."
Taking Dom's scruffy face in both of his hands, Elijah fixed his bright blue eyes on the gentle blue-grey of Dom's and stated firmly, "You don't need to entertain me, Dom. That's not why I'm here." Closing his eyes, Dom nodded into Elijah's hands, lifting his own hands to cover Lij's. Looking at him with a greatly softened expression, Elijah shook his head and snorted a little. "Alright, well let's have a seat, huh? We can cuddle stretched out together, OK?"
Nodding, Dom's hands fell to his sides. Elijah pulled Dom's face down, then pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead. Slipping a hand down to take firm hold of Dom's, he drew him along after him to the couch. As Elijah sat down in one corner he spread his legs out, one leaning against the back of the couch, the other foot resting on the floor. When he pulled Dom after him, Dom sat in the space between Elijah's legs, resting his back on Elijah's chest, his head resting on Elijah's shoulder. "I'm glad that you came, Lij, I really am."
Elijah wrapped his arms around Dom's shoulders, leaning his head down to rest against the side of Dom's face. "I love you, you know," he stated softly, the words tickling against Dom's ear.
"I know, Lij," Dom's hand came up and clasped Elijah's wrist, "I love you too." Each of them had said the same thing to the other many times, and they meant it. How much each meant it only they knew.