"No. Do you, Effie Elizabeth Nashton-Salvatore-Thorn take my father as your lawful and holy wedded husband, forsaking all others and to stop slutting around like a whore?"
"Lucien..."
"Fine, do you?"
"I do, always, until he passes and I kill myself after."
"Then in the eyes of God and the state of Illinois which we're not actually in, I pronounce you husband and wife, please dont' fuck until I leave."