No, it's definitely not okay. I know that and I will never ask you to tell me or feel otherwise. I wish I had done things so differently, or that I'd been even remotely better at handling my grief. I wish that Alexander had been less ambitious, or at the very least that his ambition hadn't clouded his judgment. But I can't go back and make any of those things happen. I can't fix the hurt I caused you. And I can't wish away the future I have now even if I wish that you hadn't been my collateral damage. But if Eliza brings you more peace, then I can be grateful for that. And I can be grateful that I'm not the same man who was drowning when you knew him because I don't want to make those mistakes again.
And I can hope that, one day, we can be something resembling the friends we used to be. But I won't ask for anything you're not willing to give, so if that never happens, it's okay. Just know that my offer to listen will always stand.