WHO: Esther Shaw → Essek Thelyss (with a brief vocal cameo of Jester Lavorre) WHEN: Early morning of January 11 WHERE: Disaster Roommates' apartment, specifically Chase's room SUMMARY: Esther gets a new memory from Essek for the first time in years and it leaves her comparing her life to the Shadowhand's and feeling very soft, indeed. WARNINGS: Brief mention of "information extraction". Spoilers through C2E90. BINGO PROMPT: Family of Choice
"Guess who's baaaaack!"
Were the guards around him or the prisoner before him at all familiar with Essek outside of his role as the Queen's Shadowhand, they might have noticed the way his head tipped just a fraction at the sudden cheerful sound of Jester's voice ringing in his mind. Despite his fatigue from the very long hours he had gone with hardly any rest as he interrogated a man he had once thought of as a friend, he was too practiced in court politics to betray his emotions. His expression stayed neutral, even as the bubbly voice continued.
"We're back at the Xhorhaus. We miss you so much. We have to talk to the Bright Queen. Are you around? OH MY GOSH, you have to hear about everything that -- "
Were he anywhere else, a smile might have formed on his lips as the words were cut off. Instead, Essek held up a hand, sparing a glance toward the guards before backing into the shadows to send his response.
"Welcome back. It is good to have you returned. Give me just a moment, please."
It was three-quarters of an hour before he had made it to the house that Den Thelyss had given to the Mighty Nein, the home that they had come to call the Xhorhaus. It had been weeks since he had last seen the group and while the world had not changed entirely in that time, it was nevertheless a different one. There was much to catch them up on, as he knew there would be plenty for them to share, as well.
Essek entered the house, the sound of their chimes announcing his presence even better than his knocks had. And though he was exhausted and stressed thanks to the pressures that had been placed upon him and his shoulders these past many weeks, he still found himself letting out a laugh at Caleb's joke on Fjord. He still found himself letting his gaze linger just a moment too long on his sometimes student. He still found himself relieved that this ragtag group of misfits that he had been saddled with keeping tabs on and caring for were in front of him. It wasn't until that moment that he realized that there had been a slowly building worry within him with each day that passed without a confusing, and yet somehow amusing, message from Jester interrupting his normal day to day business.
While every interaction with the Mighty Nein was eventful, this time was especially so. By the time they had visited the Dungeon of Penance and then the Bright Queen herself, Essek found himself being swept up by their energy, their relief. He, too, was relieved at how well their speaking with his queen had gone and that mask that he had spent decades perfecting slipped. It was so easy to recall the memory of their first meeting, when these seven individuals had very nearly been given to him for interrogation and possible execution before giving the Dynasty hope in the hands of a wizard. Instead, they had been given to him as heroes and potential allies. And now, after seeing them speak so eloquently… he thought he very well might have been proud of them.
Essek excused himself from the Mighty Nein, rebuffing an offer for dinner of some sort at their house. He expected that he might not hear from them again for a while, perhaps even weeks if their last foray in the Empire was anything to judge, but instead a familiar voice filled his mind once more just as he stepped across the threshold of his own house.
"Essek. We don't know anything about you, we just realized! We should really hang out more. Are you single? Do you have kids? Also… mom's name?"
And this time, in the privacy of his home with nothing but more research and work ahead of him, he allowed himself a smile.
The last time Esther had woken from a dream about Essek, it had been with a start and literal implosion. Neither were the case this time, as instead she woke a bit slowly, almost naturally. When her eyes fluttered open, blinking to clear her drowsiness, a moment existed wherein she could see the room she was in so clearly -- Chase's blankets, Chase's belongings, Chase's room -- and then it grew as dark as it should have been in that early hour. It was an odd sensation, one that she was able to brush aside as yet another product of an overactive imagination, as she lifted her head from the pillow to confirm that she was alone in the, as of this first night spent in it, unfamiliar bed.
Though unsurprised that Chase was awake already, especially as her eyes adjusted to the dim early light sneaking in through the window (an unholy hour of the morning, in Esther's opinion), she felt a twinge of disappointment that made her long to be a morning person as her head settled back into the pillow and her hand reached out to rest where he had been sleeping. It was just as unsurprising that she didn't wake when he did, especially as she considered the dream that she'd just had.
Esther had been dreaming of Essek and his life in Rosohna for so many years, but it had been a very long time since she had seen anything new from him. There were often repeats. Memories of his youth, long before his abilities had even been discovered and the title of Shadowhand had been given to him. Memories of being brought in Den Thelyss and the decades that he had spent trying to prove his worth, prove his ability, prove that he belonged as he was so much younger than the others as he lived through his first of what would eventually be many lives. And then there were the most recent memories that were spent teleporting the Mighty Nein around, finding himself both irritated and inexplicably fond of the group, or giving away magical wisdom to a human wizard that he wasn't supposed to give away, even with the promise of future favors returned.
This had been a continuation of the latter two. As Esther lay in Chase's bed, staring across the room at his closet door, she could feel that bone deep weariness that Essek had been operating under until the very moment he had received that message from Jester. He had told the Mighty Nein before that he was often spinning a variety of plates that pulled his attention every which way, but his focus had been resolute in the days before the group's return to Rosohna. Taskhand Adeen Tasathar may not have been a close friend to Essek, but he had known him and he had been an ally. For as adept at extracting information from prisoners as he may have been, it didn't make it something he particularly enjoyed doing -- especially not to someone who had been a trusted member of the Bright Queen's government only days prior. The exhaustion he'd felt had been caused by lack of sleep and pressure to receive answers, yes; but there was a fraying at his emotions that Essek didn't like to exhibit. Showing his emotions betrayed his position, reminded his apparent peers of his age and inexperience, and were frankly embarrassing.
Though Esther had never, and would never, have the duties and pressures of the Shadowhand to contend with, there were parts of Essek's life that she had always been able to relate to. She had been twenty-six when her first book was published. That wasn't an unheard of age to receive a book deal, but her immediate success on what was ostensibly a debut novel with a publisher was more unique. It had been overwhelming and she had wanted nothing more than to retreat within herself, all while her agent and publisher wanted her to do the opposite. She did interviews for magazines, was on podcasts, sat on panels at conventions, and had so many signings and readings -- and then she would go home to her loft, alone. Though her ties to her brother and mother had always been close, the miles that separated them all were isolating and lonely. Her friendships in Chicago were largely professional and hardly any were with true peers, all much older and far more experienced than Esther thought she might ever be.
While she was good at being friendly and outgoing when the situation called for it and genuinely wanted to meet new people and hear their stories, Esther had never been good at letting people in to know her. She was an educated and well-read young woman that had a way with words and a wide and expansive imagination; was there anything else anyone needed to know? Was there anything else anyone wanted to know? With a childhood shaped by one half of the two people who were supposed to love her unconditionally showing anger more often than that love before leaving without a spare look back, it was hard to imagine letting anyone but her mother and Gabriel in deep enough to actually know who she was.
And yet, Esther had come to Dunhaven and she had let people in. Her gaze moved, focusing on her fingers as they traced the bedsheets in the space next to her. So much had happened in two months and much of it was unexpected, which was exactly how she would have described her development of feelings for Chase. She hadn't come to Dunhaven expecting to find someone she would grow attached to -- hell, she hadn't come to Dunhaven expecting to stay. And while there was much of herself that she hadn't yet told him, just as she was sure there was plenty that he hadn't told her, she was comfortable with the knowledge that she eventually would. That was a new feeling. The fact that she liked the feeling was likewise new.
But it didn't end with Chase. She found herself drawn to his friends, as well. Mica, who was gruff and abrasive, but so clearly cared deeply for her chosen family. Jessie, who was sweet and lovely, while also the culprit of the post-it note with a dick drawn on it that Esther was currently using for a bookmark. Oscar, who was kind and friendly and leaving her liking him more and more with each meeting and conversation. Nat, who clearly did think of the others as someone she was to care for and therefore seemed suspicious of the new woman that had entered their circle. Each one of them was fascinating in their own way and Esther didn't need a dream from Essek to jolt her memory in seeing similarities between each of them and their counterpart in the Mighty Nein.
And so, was it really all that surprising that Essek had softened to the group, just as she had? Though her own integration might have been deeper, her relationship with Chase reaching a point that his may very well never achieve with Caleb, she knew what the Shadowhand felt. He had offered a teleport to them, something that the others had approached carefully each time he had poofed them around the continent. He had laughed at their jokes, shown a moment of relief alongside them. He was a young, unconsecuted elf in a society where multiple lives and living thousands of years was the norm and, for just a moment, they had allowed him to be the Essek that so few saw.
Essek may have had to return to his work, just as the Mighty Nein would continue their adventures and attempts at fostering peace between two warring nations, but Esther didn't have those responsibilities. She had deadlines and wordcount goals and a promise of taking her niece shopping, but all of that was for later.
Esther sat up. Reaching over, she found her phone next to the bed and cringed at the time. It was early, far too early. But, her boyfriend was somewhere else in the apartment, just as awake as she was. She would get out of bed, look for some clothes that would curb exactly none of the looks and teasing they would inspire from his roommates, and spend some time with him, because she could.