InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "All the world needs is me."

Eidothea Thistleback (

onthemove) wrote in

dunhavenic,
@ 2019-12-04 10:43:00

Stress Level: High
Free Time: Zero

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and went "Yeah, I look good"? Do you appreciate women that have a lot of self-confidence? Do you enjoy charity events? Are you single? (That last one is important.)

If yes to all of these, or even just 3 out of 4 (though once again, last one is important.), I have an opening for Charity Gala Arm Candy. I don't mind going solo, god knows it's not the first time, I just like having someone pretty to smile at the cameras with me and fetch me champagne and tell me I look sexy and to clap when I make a speech. The ability to hold a conversation is a bonus but not a requirement.

ETA: DATE FILLED FOR ME, THERE IS STILL AN OPENING FOR MY GORGEOUS SISTER, HOWEVER. Inquire within.

Oh and congrats to Eli for his Forbes 30 under 30, again. You fucking brat.

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