elijah marshall. (ilyaas) wrote in dunhavenic, @ 2019-09-24 21:35:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log, * kit, * terri, c: elijah marshall, c: zoya marshall |
WHO: Elijah Marshall & Zoya Nikolaeva Marshall
WHEN: Thursday, August 15, 2019; Evening
WHERE: Zoya’s house
SUMMARY: Elijah and Zoya make a decision to recommit to one another.
WARNINGS: Mentions of marital troubles, but pretty much just a lot of ♥
The moment that she had walked through the door, the decadent aroma of fresh waffles had lured her into the living room. The wine had already been poured, and Elijah was waiting for her. There was a moment, even as she kicked off her shoes and slid out of her pharmacy coat to tug her hair into the messiest pony tail known to womankind, that she wondered if she needed to pinch herself. They had been working towards these kinds of days for just over a year, and it felt like they had arrived at something that felt like the future. Having him back in her life as she did now had once been an unfathomable, reckless sort of dream. It had done nothing to heal her heart hoping for something she had thought was an impossibility. Now, they were further down the path of mending than she would have ever anticipated. Having him back in her life as he was meant to be - her best friend, her confidante, her lover - was enough to make her believe in fate most days. Perhaps it was greedy, but she wanted just one more thing from him. Though she had been thinking about this conversation for some time, his casual comment about her being his young and gorgeous wife had made it feel more pressing. They were at a better point in their relationship now than they had ever been before. The line of communication between them remained open for all things - the good, the bad, and anything in between. When they had first begun to rebuild, she had been cautious not to ask for much of anything. Now, she knew that she had that right, and that her wants needed to be confessed in order to keep what they had healthy and thriving. It had been a year of growth, and even though much of it had been hard, it had been worth every beautiful, messy moment. They had piled onto the couch together with waffle containers and wine glasses. Easy conversation had flowed about their days. Zoya was leaning back against a pillow and the arm of the couch, her legs draped across Elijah’s lap. Her wine glass was half empty, but in reach on the floor beside her. A takeout container with just under half of the combo with waffles, nutella, and all manner of delicious delicacies was still in her hands. She shoveled another bite into her mouth and chewed it thoughtfully before she offered, “Do you think Everett could have birthdays more often? Because I’m going to need this to be a permanent menu item.” There were some days, like this one, that Elijah was almost grateful for what he and Zoya had been through. It had been heartbreaking and gutting, and he would never have wished for either Zoya or himself to spend so long hurting, but he wasn’t entirely convinced that they could have found their way here to this moment without having broken first. They’d been mostly good before, but he knew now that they’d never been great the way they were now. He’d never understood how much the communication between them mattered and now he felt closer to Zoya than he ever had. He’d spent the past several months falling in love with her all over again and it felt right. It felt like he could finally breathe again. Nights like this had once seemed so impossible to have. But his takeout box was abandoned on the coffee table by his now empty wine glass, and his hand was resting against her thigh, and her voice and laughter as they talked about their days filled every space of his heart with love. This was comfortable. Their new normal. He brushed his thumb over her leg as he pressed his back further into the couch and laid his free hand over his stomach as though trying to contain the three waffles he’d eaten. “Knowing Stella, she’ll never get rid of the #boyfriend, at the very least,” he laughed, “and I bet she’d make it for us anyway if we ever asked. I wouldn’t mind making this a routine, though. Maybe not these exact waffles too often, but at least once or twice a month. What do you think?” Though they had started out as best friends all those years ago, they’d been young when they’d gotten married. Probably too young, really. It had been the lack of communication that had become a tipping point. It had lended itself to not only the eventual breakdown of their friendship, but their marriage as well. She knew that running scared had been the wrong thing to do, but she hadn’t known how to take back the damage that she had wrought. Somehow, they had managed to sort out all of their pieces and fit them back into place. It wasn’t like it was before. The good parts were still there, and all of the difficult lessons they had learned had been taken to heart. They’d changed so much about how they approached one another. She no longer felt selfish for asking for any small thing that she needed. Their relationship with one another now was not just healthy; it was thriving. Her heart still tumbled in her chest at the casual way that he touched her now. Even though she had never truly fallen out of love with him, Zoya’s affection for him had grown to new heights now. All of that insecurity that she had felt when they’d first been trying to just date one another again had melted away. It had been replaced with the confidence that they could make this work again, and she desperately wanted them to. “Three waffles may have been excessive,” she admitted, “But we should definitely make it a routine. At home waffle date nights look really good on us.” Her grin was one of pride as she gestured to herself with her plastic fork, messy and still in work clothes. She speared a strawberry covered in nutella and popped it into her mouth. Even though she was a little nervous to approach the topic on her mind, she set aside what few bites remained of her last waffle, “Speaking of routines, I need to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind.” She was thankful, at least, that such a statement no longer held the ominous undertones that it might have in the months right before their marriage had shattered. It was such a common confession now that there was no hesitation in her voice, her gaze steady. Though what she was going to ask of him was not a light discussion or decision, she felt at peace. No matter the agreement they came to, she knew that they would be all right. Elijah snorted. “May have been?” he asked, amusement apparent in his tone. “I think I crossed the line into bad choices halfway through the second one.” He ran his free hand over his head, disheveling his hair until it too reflected how comfortable he was there on the couch. “As much as I love Stella and her waffles, I think if we invested in a waffle maker, we could make less excessive waffles and have waffle date nights even more frequently,” he suggested. He liked the idea of all of these little things that were gradually becoming their things. Whether it was sharing a coffee--which he still had memorized as her favorite--after an early morning workout, or this, it was like they were finding new ways to make their connection more tangible, to show proof of the love that they still shared and that had grown and matured in all the ways it had needed to. Glancing over at Zoya, he raised an eyebrow, his fingers curling under her knee to pull her legs toward him as he shifted his weight where he sat. “Is it the early morning gym routine?” Elijah laughed. “Because after tonight, I might be willing to let you skip in the morning. I might be willing to skip, even.” “I got to at least the third bite of my third waffle before I hit anything resembling regret, and still pretty much finished it,” Zoya playfully remarked, patting her stomach as though it were something to be proud of. She nodded sagely at his suggestion, “That gets my seal of approval. I’ll dig up a coupon for Bed, Bath, and Beyond, or something and we’ll make our waffle date dreams come true.” She had some ideas that involved chocolate, strawberry, banana, and peanut butter waffles that already made her wonder if she could possibly eat a little more tonight. (She could not.) He pulled her a little closer, and she sat up from where she was leaning with an easy laugh, “Oh, we’re definitely going to skip the morning routine tomorrow because I am not dragging these waffles into chin-ups at 5:30 in the morning. It may be physically impossible. I am going to note that whenever I want to skip the gym, I just need to load our dinner with an enormous amount of waffles and whipped cream.” She grinned, but shook her head softly, reaching out to clasp one of his hands in both of hers, “That...was a stellar guess, but not what I was going to say. To start...” she ignored the small flutter of her heart, “did you realize what you said on the network earlier...when you referenced me as your wife?” The simple ease of talking about buying appliances with Zoya--such a silly, domesticated thing--gave Elijah a small thrill. "It's incredibly sexy when you talk about shopping together with coupons, you know," he said, the observation punctuated with an easy laugh. His thumb brushed over her leg again as he said, "And you really don't even need waffles to actually convince me to stay in bed with you of a morning. I'm my own boss now. I can do later mornings." As she continued, though, Elijah had to stop and think about what Zoya was referencing before he realized what he'd said to Everett earlier that day. "Huh," he said, tilting his head to the side. "I actually didn't realize what I said. It just came out like it was just today natural which…" he trailed off, pausing as he moved his hand up to curl his fingers around hers, "it kind of is, you know? It feels right, again. I don't know that there's another word I could use to describe what you are to me." She smirked and nodded sagely, “A good sale is incredibly alluring.” She enjoyed doing even the simplest tasks with him. They had gotten married so young, but even then she had recognized that something as mundane as going grocery shopping could be romantic. It was all of those little, otherwise trivial moments that had made them so strong in the beginning. In a way, it felt like they’d come full circle to that again, with all the wisdom that had been hard-won from their mistakes in the meantime. Even the small reminder that he made his own hours now was a soothing balm to her heart. If she needed him…he could be there without hesitation. She knew that his job still required a lot of his attention, but she did not feel trapped by it in the way that she had before, “I’m still so proud of what you’ve built for yourself, you know.” The confirmation that he had not really thought about his words was expected. She squeezed his fingers gently, and let out a small breath of relief, “It always has been that, on a technicality or otherwise.” She met his gaze and clasped his hand between both of hers, “You told me back in November that you weren’t ready to be my husband again, but I’m hoping that has changed.” Though her heartbeat picked up in her chest, she didn’t falter, “I love you, Elijah. What we have now is better than it’s ever been before, and I feel so good about it. I feel ready...for all of it. I want to wake up with you in our bed instead of yours or mine. I never want to hesitate over what to call you, or what I should claim as my own name. I want the same address on our IDs, and a joint grocery list for our kitchen. Your toothbrush beside mine, and a full blown his and hers closet instead of a few drawers. I know I might still have a lot to prove, but I’m all in. I want to be your wife again, in every way. No half measures. I want it all.” Elijah thought that maybe he should have felt more overwhelmed by Zoya’s confession, or maybe even more trepidatious about the gravity of what she was suggesting, but...he didn’t. Just as his reference to her as his wife had felt so natural earlier that he hadn’t even realized he’d said it. Perhaps inappropriately, he hesitated for a moment and then started laughing. The corners of his eyes crinkled in amusement, his body shaking with laughter. As it began to subside, he lifted his hip to reach for his pocket, pulling his phone from it and swiping to unlock it as he settled back in. “I’m sorry,” he started, still trying to contain his laughter as he scrolled through the network to find the conversation with his brother earlier that day that had soon gone under private filters after the comment Elijah had made about his wife. It was mostly him and Everett shit-talking Everett’s ex, but toward the end of it...just there… He handed the phone to Zoya, the root of his amusement on display. “I don’t mean to laugh,” he chuckled, “but that’s what I sent Everett just a few hours ago. I’m ready to go all in again with Zoya. And it’s just hilarious to me because we’re so on the same page these days that we’ve somehow come to the same conclusion at the same time. Z, I want to be your husband. I want to spend every day hearing what you want and need and telling you the same. I never want to miss a night of your incredibly cute snores lulling me to sleep, or a morning waking up with you. I am so ready to be so disgustingly domestic with you again. I think I’m more ready to be your husband now that I ever was before.” Laughter, of course, hadn’t really been what Zoya was expecting. She’d really counted more on some sort of seriousness, or perhaps excitement. For a moment, her brows arched. She wasn’t certain what to do with that level of amusement, especially as he got out his phone with an apology. There might have been a time when the vagueness of that moment would have made her upset or insecure. She delayed any real reaction until he was able to really explain. She looked down at those words, the same ones that she had told him moments prior, and a smile quirked her lips then as Elijah began to speak. Hearing him reiterate those same sentiments to her helped Zoya breathe easier. It had been a year of hard work to get them to this point, but it had been so worth every moment. For a moment, she couldn’t say anything at all. Instead, she leaned in closer, legs still stretched across his lap, and pressed a sound kiss to his lips. “Things got all sideways before, but it’s never been more right,” she agreed after a moment. Her heart felt full to bursting, “We’re already mostly there on the disgustingly domestic part. I mean, we just need to settle under one roof instead of going between the two. Which...if you wanted to move in here, I would be ok with that. I also understand if you’d rather jointly look for a place that we choose together.” Elijah hadn't been entirely sure they could ever reach this point again and it didn't evade him how that made this all the more satisfying. They'd defied the odds, defied her father, and here they were. "I would love that," he replied quietly, his eyes silently drinking her and this moment in, committing all of it to memory. If possible, he felt fuller now than he had even when he'd proposed to the woman he'd somehow managed to find his way back to. "I don't need a different place. If I'm with you, it's home." He swallowed then, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. "I'd ask you to marry me all over again, you know," he said. And meant it. For all the times he'd considered signing the divorce papers just to be done with it, he'd been extra glad in these months that he had not, whether from sheer stubbornness or spite each time he'd looked at them and refused. But now he almost wished he had a reason to marry her again, make new vows and new promises, a new future forged by the people they'd each become. The assurance that he’d do it all over again brought tears unexpectedly to her eyes. She had made so many horrible mistakes that had been a knife twisting in both of them for too long. Even if they might forever bear the scars from that, she could finally breathe deeply without the ache of pain and old wounds now. If she could have gone back to her younger self, she’d have counseled her...promised her that it only felt like she was drowning. That they were worth fighting for with every breath that she had left to drag into her lungs. Her throat was tight when she squeezed his hands, “I’d say yes.” They were still attached by all the legal bindings. Her name had been Marshall all of these years, no matter what she’d requested to be known by. As glad as she was to not have to go through all of the official changes once more, she paused thoughtfully for a moment before she offered, “Our anniversary is coming up soon. We could renew our vows, and reclaim that day for everything it’s supposed to mean...everything we want it to represent going forward.” Elijah wasn’t entirely sure why he hadn’t thought of it, too, considering that it really was the perfect idea, the perfect timing. He nodded along with her words, contemplative. It would be the right sort of transition between what they’d been and what they’d become, and it would cement the idea of making a new promise between the people they’d grown into. After a moment, fingers tapping against her knee, he said, “Hold on. Just a second.” He freed himself from their entanglement on the couch and left her sitting there as he disappeared into the kitchen. Soon, the sound of doors and drawers opening and closing in the kitchen made their way into the living room until they stopped altogether and Elijah reappeared in the living room a few moments later. Stepping around the couch, Elijah knelt on one knee in front of his wife and held up a green twist-tie he’d pulled off of a loaf of bread. Fashioning it into the shape of a ring, he reached for her hand. “I don’t have your engagement ring to do this with and I wouldn’t use it, anyway. We’ll pick out a new one together, something that fits us now. But if you’re ready to be my wife, again, then it would be my honor and my pleasure to be lucky enough to marry you twice.” She’d already given him her answer, just as he had already as good as asked the question. Still, he hesitated as he held the make do ring toward her, a small and insecure part of him worrying that she might reconsider. His nods had reassured her that he was at least somewhat in agreement with what she had suggested. Curiosity bloomed in the moments after when he got up from the couch, her feet occupying the space where he had sat a few moments before. She looked over her shoulder as she heard the sounds of various cabinets and drawers opening and closing, but he wasn’t gone for long before he returned. She couldn’t help the bubble of laughter that passed her lips the moment that she saw the twist tie that he shaped into a ring, though she put her hand over her mouth to stifle it even as she smiled. The engagement ring in question was actually in a jewelry box in this very house, but she thought he was right. Picking a new one was better. She would only look at it with renewed love and hope. She tugged her lower lip between her teeth as she slid her finger through that makeshift ring, and then reached up to gently take his face in her hands. “Yes, Elijah. Yes...forever this time. The only direction I’ll ever run is right into your arms,” she needed to make those promises. She’d broken her vows before when she’d been afraid, and the regret had been unbearable. She had wanted to return to him the moment she left, and though it was later than either of them would have liked, they’d found their way back to one another. Sealing her promises, she leaned forward and pressed a waffle-sweet kiss right to his lips. |