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I'm not? [...] No, that's not entirely true.
As soon as I started dreaming, I read everything I could find on Ted. I'd read the books, of course, but I wanted to refresh what I was pretty sure I remembered.
And he dies, of course. Which maybe shouldn't bother or effect me, but it's just always sort of at the back of my mind. More so when I have dreams about Andromeda, or when Rachel and I have shared memories. All the things they went through and all the good they did manage to scrounge together, and he still left her in the end.
Rachel's lost a lot, in her own life. And I just [...] don't want to be a reminder of other things she's lost, before.