I know, rationally, that it's the best choice. It was difficult the first few months, and it's going to be difficult again toward the end of the pregnancy, and after the baby comes. It's doable, and it's a great job, but I have other options available to me. Primarily the fact that Avery and I are having a surprisingly high amount of interest in our pet line despite how new we are. I think it could be a really great income that's easy for me to juggle along with school and baby things.
But I just don't like disappointing people because of the [...] negative associations I have with it. I know it has everything to do with my own emotional baggage, and that it has nothing to do with how I think Jeb will actually feel or react, but that doesn't make me feel it less. Between feeling guilty over being an inconvenience, and being afraid of being a disappointment, it's just a lot to unpack.