But, I'm in a good place, I think. She had an ultrasound and we saw it and heard its heartbeat. It's still this tiny thing and I can barely imagine that it will be an actual baby by December, but it will and that's just [...] amazing, you know? And I'm trying to hold onto that feeling, because if I let it go even a little, I know I'll start thinking about the high probability of me being terrible at all of this.