I personally try to keep the influences of my dreams as far away from my waking life as possible, but I also realize that I'm a special circumstance.
It is a lot and it's definitely a big deal. It wasn't something that I really considered being a possibility anytime soon, if ever. I like the idea of being a mother, but I was also pretty content with someday just being Aunt Kiera, you know? But I always figured that parenthood could happen, if I found the right person. What if she's the right person? But, then, what if she's not? What if I'm not supposed to be the person to raise that baby with her or at all? What would happen if I help and am around for a while and then we break up? I don't want to lose her and I hate even entertaining the idea, but I know that it could happen. And then if I do get to be part of this baby's life, only to have something happen and then not be part of it hurts my heart to even think about.
[...] I don't know what to do. I don't want to influence her decision, but I think I will and kind of have to no matter what.