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I don't know how to even put it into words, really. I've been messed up for a long time but recently it's been this whole new level of messed up. It's like I'm walking around with someone else's guilt and shame and regret but it feels so familiar that I don't actually know where he ends and I begin or even what's actually the root of the problem anymore. If I could separate all of the emotions, maybe I could find a way to patch it up and get on with everything but [...] I can't.