I can tell you the pain feels very genuine. It's just as real as if it happened and I can attest to that because I am a widow who has lost a husband in this world and whatever world my dreams are in. Two lives, two husbands, and the same pain.
You grieve. You scream and cry and deny and plead and then you look up and you see the people that are really here that do love you. You lean on them while eating greasy take out and watching sitcoms. You hold the people you love a little bit closer and smile about the good memories and sometimes take it day by day. But you keep going. It's nothing to be ashamed of. You're not crazy. They're real for us, and our emotions are valid.