Bash Kingswood ⚔ Sebastian "Bash" de Poitiers (forgery) wrote in dunhavenic, @ 2018-03-25 03:06:00 |
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Once again plagued by dreams that he didn’t want to have, Bash would have cut them right out of his head if he was able. He actually didn’t know what the worst part about the dream was...that he had married someone that wasn’t Denver or that he had married someone who didn’t want to marry him. He remembered standing there in that throne room, the King - his father - stark raving mad, barefoot and demanding that he say the words. “I, Sebastian, take this woman to be my lawful wife, under the eyes of God from this day forward.” Those words still rang in his head, right along with the fact that the woman - Kenna, the King’s young mistress - had been weeping the entire time. The hastily given title wasn’t enough to grant him any legal standing, and he might never have any land. He would always be subject to the will of the King, whether that be his father or his brother in succession. He could remember that awful feeling of being duty bound and obeying the order out of fear of what might happen if he didn’t. Bash hated how the dreams felt more like memories. It was as though a past life were invading his thoughts and emotions. He wished that he knew how to turn them off, though he could separate reality from the dreams well enough. It was easy to do when his real life differed so drastically than that of the dream. It made him feel guilty, however, that they didn’t...match up. He felt guilty for feelings and relationships that he had never wanted to see or feel or become engaged in. It was an unnecessary complication on his life, especially when he was unerringly committed to Denver. Though their relationship was still young, the close friendship that they had instigated over the years made up for time otherwise lost. He was certain, at least, that if there was anyone that he was going to marry in this life, it was going to be Denver. There was no mysterious girl named Kenna that he would be forcibly tied to. He at least had control over his own destiny, whereas the boy from his dreams felt in constant turmoil about duty to his family and his country above his own self. He was never free to have a life of his own making, despite the fact that he did try to do things his own way when it was allowable. Bash supposed that his own parents in this world had lost their rights to tell him how to spend his life when they had shipped him away at ten years old. He had been deposited in a boarding school hundreds of miles away from the only life he had ever known, just so that they wouldn’t have to deal with him. It had conveniently matched up right with the time when the eldest of his younger siblings came into being. Though his father would never own to it, Bash knew that it had been easier for him to discard his bastard son and write him off as a youthful mistake. Of course, he had still made the pretenses of caring. His father had not written him out of his life because he was a known entity. He had seen it as a favor to Bash...sending him to a school where he could get a superior education despite the fact that it cut him off from his family. In a lot of ways, Bash had never been able to forgive his family for that act. He was still expected to come to family events and he had access to far more money than he knew what to do with, and that was fine. It didn’t mean that he wouldn’t forge his own path in the wreckage that they had left behind, though. They had never understood his decision to stay in Dunhaven after finishing all of his schooling, and they had never understood why he had gone into law enforcement when he could have done “better” things with his life. In his opinion, it wasn’t something that they needed to understand. As much as he still loved to visit Maine for its natural beauty, Dunhaven had been his home since he was ten years old. He planned to stay there, unless he ended up going elsewhere with Denver. She was the constant, though. She was the person that he couldn’t lose. His other friendships could weather distance if it came to that, but he was lost in this world without her. It didn’t really matter what he dreamed, he decided. His life didn’t belong to a ghost. Nothing his mind could create would ever overrule the life that he had here and now. |