WHO Stephanie and Dr. Leland, then Eddie. (Pt. 1 of 2!) WHAT Steph visits Arkham Asylum. WHEN Recently! WHERE Arkham. WARNING cursing, some talk of mental health issues, the bbs being broken.
Dr. Leland had a couple different therapy rooms that varied between usefulness. The more dangerous criminals were cuffed (and sometimes chained) to their seat in a room that didn’t have anything they could use as a weapon if things got out of control. The less dangerous got anything from an actual couch to lay on to potted plants nearby or even a desk fountain. Eddie’s favorite was a light green room a couple stories up with a view of Gotham across the water, a tiny sand zen garden to play with while he spoke and giant posters of architecture and innovation from his city. Sometimes he did lay on the couch, other times he knelt and meticulously placed green stones in the sand garden, carefully drew lines around them and then asked Leland to contribute. It felt safe, quiet. That lack of Gotham buzz and danger could make him stir crazy, but he could feel Leland helping him put all the blocks in the right place.
It could have been said that Eddie was giving too much of his trust to the good doctor. She asked him questions about Gotham, about Batman, about Stephanie, about everything and Eddie mostly complied. He normally prefered messing with people who expected a straight answer, but he needed as much help getting his riddles in order as he could get. It wasn’t long before Leland knew exactly how he felt about Stephanie and to what lengths he would go to help her. Soon, she knew about the nightmares that riddled the man in green about ruining Stephanie’s life. She knew about Arthur and the plague and the toxin. All of it. But, most of all, Leland finally got to see them talk to each other.
When Stephanie had visited a week before and Eddie was given free reign to show her around and spend time with her out in the garden, Leland was listening in. She heard how easily Eddie complied with whatever Stephanie told him and seemed remarkably less interested in himself compared to her. It worried Leland. She knew rogues could pulse between love and obsession too easily. If Eddie had given too much of himself to Stephanie until there was practically nothing he wanted besides her, the instant the blonde decided to leave him, he would spiral out of control. There was only so much she could do to help the man in green stand up for himself, so the doctor decided it was time to meet with Stephanie.
She picked Eddie’s favorite room to pull out a fondness for the man in Stephanie instantly and hoped that a reminder of him would help the conversation go along smoothly. Doctor Leland was every bit as calculating as the most intelligent men and women in Gotham and tough as most people born in the city were. She was efficient, direct and honest. But, most importantly, she wanted her patients to get better. The mix of compassion and the moral obligation to do what was right for other people drove the doctor to be so invested in her patients without making it all that personal. She knew Eddie could be a good man, but she wasn’t his friend. And, she wasn’t going to pull punches for anyone.
Dressed in a sharp grey suit with touches of pink, she sat in one of the chairs across from the couch and waited for the knock on the door. Stephanie was expecting another day with Eddie, which she’d get eventually if things went well, but Leland was set on talking to her first. When the door opened, the doctor gave a courteous smile to Stephanie and stood up to shake her hand. “It’s good to see you, Stephanie.” Leland had a firm grasp and perfect posture. Her hands were warm, but a little tougher than what would be expected from a psychiatrist. “I thought you and I should talk about Eddie before you visit him today. I’d like to get an idea of how you’re holding up and how you think his progress is going. Please, have a seat.”
For the most part, Stephanie Brown had been a little better in the past few weeks than she had been in the past two months. Since their mini-vacation beyond the Harry Potter door, since seeing Eddie, her mind felt a little more settled. Oh, she was still worried, of course. Every day she worried about the what ifs and the could bes, the countless scenarios and possibilities that might come from all of this. Ones that didn’t add up to Eddie being out of Arkham and well. Frightening moments of doubt that spiralled into nightmares and awful day dreams of her riddled man returning to his riddling roots and tearing Gotham to pieces. But, actually being able to spend time with him, to see the beginnings of healing in his eyes and mannerisms, assuaged some of Stephanie’s fears, or at least quieted them to a dull roar. He would be okay, she assured herself constantly. Whenever the world hit her with stark reminders that Eddie was still there, she always told herself that he would be out of there soon.
He had to be. She, Eddie, and Leland would make sure of that.
Though Steph hadn’t met Eddie’s psychiatrist yet, she trusted the woman with Eddie’s well-being. The blonde bat had heard good things about Leland, not just his accounts of the doctor, but other whispers here and there about the strict, but excellent warden of the asylum. When she had visited the week before, Stephanie could see marked differences in Eddie, even more so than their time in Diagon Alley. The day beyond another door was an anomaly honestly, stolen hours of reunited bliss with almost harried, manic need to prove that they would be okay. That they still loved each other. In Arkham though, she could see Eddie through all that to the calmer green man that all this time and his therapy with Leland was cultivating. And while Steph felt wary about how much chance would happen, she knew that some of this was good. It had to be good.
When she returned a week later, the little blonde bat pushed the apprehension about seeing Eddie aside for just a relaxed sort of excitement that buzzed through her body every time she saw or spoke to him over the past few months. The separation was hard, but it made her treasure every second she had of his time and plan on how to spend all the time they had when he was released. As she walked up to the therapy room the receptionist directed her to, she was thinking about all the things she would tell Eddie to assure him that she was okay, too. Patrolling, school, how Jordanna tried to mock Stephanie for her “jailbird boyfriend” and how Stephanie was thisclose to punching her but didn’t. How she was getting a work placement. How still, with all of those things going on, nothing would compare to having him home with her. He was the missing puzzle piece that she needed to feel complete.
Pushing the door open, Stephanie flashed a practiced smile without even realizing that Eddie wasn’t in the room. She balked when she spotted the doctor, obviously Leland even if Stephanie had only seen the woman lurking around a few times when she visited the week before. “Uh, hi,” Stephanie stuttered out, surprised and taking a second to smile and shake the woman’s hand. “Is something wrong with him?” she asked immediately, slightly panicked and so young compared to the other woman in her skinny jeans and purple ballet flats and green sweater. Steph stood across from Leland, returning her firm handshake with hands gloved by one of Eddie’s present, with her messy blonde hair hidden under a purple beret and coat still on. She bundled up against the cold snap Arkham always had compared to Gotham, even if the fall was quickly turning into the whispering beginnings of winter in the city, too. She snatched the hat off her head. “He seemed fine when I last talked to him.”
Leland’s pleasant expression didn’t change when Stephanie took a moment to realize that Eddie wasn’t there. She took a seat across from Stephanie, smoothed her hands over her skirt and then gave the blonde girl a calm gaze. “He’s fine. Progressing as we hoped and being as cooperative as he can.” Leland gestured to a hot water machine with packets of tea and paper cups next to it across the room. “Please have some tea if you like, this isn’t a session or anything like that.” There was an assurance in her tone and a calmness that made it clear why Eddie liked her so much. The rest of Gotham was madness, manic personalities and violence. Leland seemed to have latched onto an almost ethereal sense of tranquility that the riddled man knew practically nothing about. It was almost like whatever Gotham had done to Leland, it had only made her more normal.
“But, I’m sure you won’t find it surprising that most patients here do not have friends or family or loved ones that want to visit them. Most of them will have to start their lives over when they are released from here, but Edward will be returning to a life with you and the friends that he has.” Leland pushed her palms together and pointed her fingers at Stephanie. “So, I wanted to get an idea of where you are in relation to him. How you think he’s doing and how you’re feeling.” The doctor gave a couple examples, clearly not expecting Stephanie to answer them all but hoped that one of the choices would persuade her to talk.
Stephanie nervously played with the hat in her hands, feeling a little bit like a mouse caught in a stick trap. Stuck with no hope of escape. Leland’s calm demeanor both soothed and unnerved the blonde, and she found herself wondering how anyone in Gotham could be so goddamn levelheaded. No one she had ever met was that levelheaded all the time. Well, maybe the Bat, but that was covering up other problems within the Dark Knight’s mind. It was good, she guessed, for a psychiatrist to be so cool and collected, especially in the face of the darkest, sharpest minds of Gotham, though it was astounding that anyone like that could actually exist in Gotham City. Stephanie sure as hell wasn’t one of them. The little blonde bat was a bundle of excitement and emotions that were really hard to rein in at times.
After a moment, and after the assurance that Eddie was doing well, Steph sunk down slowly into the chair across from the good doctor, placing her hat in her lap and slowly slipping her gloves off her hands. “You got a pumpkin spice latte there?” Stephanie joked, always trying for humor in uncomfortable situations. That was how she worked. That was how she and Eddie functioned. One blonde eyebrow rose slowly, and she smiled at the older woman. “How I’m feeling? I thought you said this wasn’t a session.” It was a tease, mostly a jab to diffuse the tension building inside her own bundled nerves. She worried her bottom lip for a moment, drummed her fingers against her thigh, and tried to think of what to say. What did Leland want from her? “I’m ready for him to come back,” she said, though it sounded more like a question. “His life’s waiting for him once he’s done and ready.” She tilted her head and pursed her mouth into a thin line and almost shrugged. What was she supposed to say? After a moment, Stephanie continued, “I think he’s calmer.” Calmer, more collected, and she feared changing further than she realized sometimes.
Dr. Leland gave a thin, humoring smile at the deflecting humor as if she were familiar with it. And, she was. Eddie did the same thing at the beginning of practically every session and it took a while of chipping through to get him to be honest. Leland didn’t have that kind of time with Stephanie and frankly she wasn’t the patient here. “He is calmer, yes. Calmer is good. Considerably less outbursts and he’s not as combative as he was even before Arkham City.” A sound like she too knew that the City was a disaster, though no indication as to how damaging it was for Eddie. “I think you’ll agree that he’s much more compassionate than most patients brought to Arkham. I truly believe that he would put you before himself. And, that’s a healthy reaction to being in a long-term relationship.”
There was a small pause as the doctor leaned forward a little bit, resting her elbows on the arms of her chair as she clasped her hands together. “However, he’s admitted to me that he’s never had a close relationship before. His willingness to make sure you are happy could lead to a self-sacrificing streak that would completely undo all the treatment that he has gone through.” Leland’s tone was stern without being accusing. A good shrink always kept the door open a little. “Have you noticed any signs that he’s been too agreeable? That he won’t fight you on things that he would have before?”
Stephanie appreciated that Leland apparently deemed Arkham City a colossal failure, too, or at least damaging enough to the people stuck inside there. Both women knew that damage was done to Eddie while he was in there, but they saw different sides of it. And Steph had a suspicion that Eddie was trying to hide the worst of the worst from her, but she didn’t want to press things while he was still tucked away on that island, away from her and everything else he loved. Leland obviously knew more, that much the blonde realized, and it did kind of sting that someone else knew (or thought they knew) her riddled man now more than she did. She was proud of the fact that their relationship rested on being able to read each other. Understand each other. But, now Stephanie was worried that there was going to be a distance they might not be able to bridge.
She nodded. “He’s very giving,” she agreed, not knowing where this was going before Leland eased into her questions. “What?” Steph asked, dry and flat voice mingling with the expression on her face to emphasize how young she was. How different it was to think she was mature beyond her years and actually be it. Stephanie did have the advantage of being much more mature than girls her age, but she could also be so very twenty years old at times. Stubborn, naive, combative. She pulled another face, screwed up slightly as if trying to drum up an appropriate answer for the good doctor before coming up with zilch. “I don’t--I’ve never had a relationship like this either,” Steph began as if that would answer everything. Then, after a moment, she continued on. “I don’t know what--we haven’t been fighting a lot, if that’s what you mean. I don’t know what you think is going on, but we’re okay.” More than anything, the little blonde bat hated others stepping in on their relationship and trying to understand something much more complex than it would seem on the surface.
“It’s not like we’re getting lots of time to actually talk,” Stephanie mumbled defensively.
There was a little surprise that barely registered on Leland’s face that Stephanie hadn’t noticed the submissive change in Eddie or at the very least wasn’t willing to acknowledge a possibility of it. Eddie had told her time and time again that their relationship was scrutinized by others and so the need to appear strong while they fixed their own problems became something of a habit. Everyone saw Stephanie and Eddie as one of the more healthy couples (if not the only) in Gotham and the green man didn’t want others involved in their business as much as the blonde bat. This must have made the both of them blind to obvious dangers in the future and Leland made a note on a nearby clipboard to speak to Eddie about it during the next session.
“You’re more than okay, Stephanie. The support that you two show for each other is difficult to find in Gotham.” Leland’s voice went from approving to scrutinizing in a quick swoop. “But, Eddie was never truly concerned that he could ruin your life until he was sent to Arkham City. He believed he was a good fit for you. Now, he’s exhibiting signs of doubt. He’s voiced concerns that even being here could keep you from achieving what you desire. Do you see the problem? Eddie is here to help himself, but all he can think about is what you want.” Leland leaned back in the chair, crossed her legs and gave a stiff shrug. Shoulders moving up in a straight line before squaring back down. “I know that he confides with you before making a decision on anything and if you disagree with what he wants to do, he’ll give in without much of a fight. That isn’t healthy for a man who must learn what his limits are.”
Stephanie and Eddie’s relationship always had its detractors. Even from the beginning, especially in the beginning, every person from both sides of the fence eyed the newly forged bond between bat and rouge with suspicion and wariness and even combativeness. There was no shortage of hurdles the riddled man and his blonde bat needed to jump over, nor ring of fire they needed to vault through. And, so Steph always felt the need and desire to prove the haters wrong. Chinks in the armor couldn’t be visible, or at least seen as catastrophic as they might have been. There were problems, of course, but only the two of them understood the extent of it all, and that was proven time and time again. With the birds, or the Bat, or Muerte. All of them tried to sift through and nitpick, but no one else got it the way that she or Eddie did.
So, it didn’t sit well to have Leland try to pick apart her relationship with Eddie, and the way her mouth thinned to a line could tell anyone that. “I know that,” she said of the support that was part of the foundation of their relationship. They may not always agree, and sometimes she and Eddie got into huge, blow-out fights, but they were always there for each other at the end of the day. Each other’s own personal cheerleaders. “I keep telling him that I’m always going to be there. I’m scared that he won’t want me anymore.” Stephanie crossed her arms over her chest, not wanting to be so honest but finding it spill out of her without discourse. “I don’t tell him to do whatever I want. Hell, he doesn’t do what I’d say, I have no idea what you’re talking about. He’s got his own mind, and he sure as hell isn’t going to do something if he doesn’t want to, Dr. Leland. You know that.” Stephanie hated to be a hinderance to Eddie’s healing in any sort of way, but she felt chastised for something she just didn’t do. “There’s no way I’d want to mess him up, why would you think that?”
The storm that was Stephanie Brown was well prepared for. Leland knew enough about her through Eddie and from hearing their interactions from time to time. The outburst was taken with a helping pinch of salt and the doctor merely shook her head. It was difficult for loved ones to feel anything except defensive about a patient's condition. No one wanted to get blamed for making something worse. “No one is accusing you of making him worse, Stephanie. I think it’s clear you want him out and healthy as soon as possible.” Leland shot down the defensiveness the blonde girl was trying to use in order to avoid an honest conversation. She turned her head to look at a small stack of papers and flipped through a couple with a reluctant crease of her brow.
“Eddie told me about a recent argument you two had. He wanted to do something, the specifics of which he wouldn’t say, and you told him that it made you uncomfortable. That you feared it might make him worse. Now before Arkham, wouldn’t you agree that while Eddie would respect your opinion, he’d do what he felt was right for himself?” Leland slowly looked back up at Stephanie. “In this case, he knows you’re wrong, but he plans on restraining himself for your sake. Now, that’s one example. Imagine if he started to make assumptions based on what he thought was best for you. Overdosing on medication so that he wouldn’t have the urge to get into Gotham related trouble. Staying out of your personal life in fear that he could ruin the friendships you have. Edward’s confidence in himself is dwindling and once it does hit rock bottom, he will without a doubt spiral so far out of control that neither of us can help him.” That was the first time Leland had called Eddie Edward in front of Stephanie. Edward was a name used in most patient sessions with him and Eddie was a term used to speak to others about him.
“Well, I think it sounds like you’re saying something like that,” Stephanie almost snapped out, fingers wringing her hat to hold back an outburst that was bubbling in the back of her brain. If she wasn’t accusing her of making Eddie worse, what was Leland doing? Pointing out the fatal flaws in their dynamic? No thank you, Stephanie could figure those out all for herself; honestly, she wasn’t aware of the changes happening in Eddie. That he was holding back punches or complying with whatever she wanted. Stephanie trusted Eddie to make decisions for himself. Sure, she pushed and pushed and pushed, but always thought he would do what was best for him. That was how it always worked with them, wasn’t it? One of them would needle, and the other would make a decision that was best. They were both stubborn things, the Riddler and Batgirl, and opinions were always taken into account, but that didn’t mean a thing when they decided something else was right. That’s what got them into so many messes.
When Leland looked up from her stack of papers, Stephanie looked up and away, staring at the ceiling as if there was something vastly interesting and important up there that she needed to see. She knew exactly what argument this was, but she didn’t feel the need to divulge what the argument was about. How much Leland knew and understood about keys and doors and other worlds with Belle and Beast and enchanted castles was none of Stephanie’s business. “Yeah, well, it wasn’t something that was good for him. That’s different. He shouldn’t be doing stuff like that when he’s still trying to heal, y’know?” She suddenly measured a look on Leland, blue eyes trying to plead or understand or rage all at once. “He isn’t going to start all of that. I won’t let him, okay?” But Leland calling him Edward made it sound so clinical, so official, and Steph balked again.
The blonde bat fell silent for a moment. “I won’t let him,” she said a little less forcefully, eyes falling down to her lap. “He knows what’s best for him.”
The good doctor patiently sat through Stephanie’s explanation, a sympathetic look across her face that must have been for both Stephanie and Eddie at the same time. Leland was clinical and sharp as nails, but her passion for helping people didn’t come from a place of power or fascination. “You won’t let him?” She asked, all psychiatrist pondering and folded her hands neatly on her lap. “A healthy relationship isn’t about preventing the other person from hurting themselves. It’s about letting him figure it out. You aren’t supposed to fix him. I’m not either. Edward has to find a way to fix himself. That’s the only way his obsessions can stay under control.”
Leland smiled at Stephanie, cutting through the discomfort with a hint of optimism. “He doesn’t know what’s best for him anymore. That’s why he’s here. And, that’s okay.” The doctor stood and walked over to the hot water pump and began fixing herself a cup of tea, eyes momentarily focused out on Gotham. “The only thing he’s sure of is that you are good for him even if he hasn’t convinced himself that he’s good for you anymore. And, I think anyone close to Edward would agree you two are a good match. But, you need to be careful not to take advantage of that while he recovers.”
Stephanie stifled a scoff with a bite to the inside of her cheek, and she also stifled the urge to ask what Leland knew about healthy relationships in Gotham. Where nothing at all was healthy, from the bats and birds that prowled the night, to the baddies that taunted the streets, and relationships that developed between every citizen few and far between. There was nothing healthy by normal standards, though Steph would argue that she and Eddie were so far from normal standards it wasn’t funny. “So, what? Am I just supposed to let him go and do whatever he wants and destroy everything he’s worked for?” Stephanie finally snapped, twisting the hat tight between her hands and tugging it slightly. Foregoing any sense of not needling Eddie.
Her blue eyes trailed Leland as she gritted her teeth, frustration simmering underneath her skin and threatening to boil. “He could just fuck all the progress away, and then what? How am I helping him if I’m just letting him fuck it up?” Steph asked lowly, pushing herself to stand so quickly she dropped the gloves and the hat on the floor at her feet. “What do you mean, take advantage? I would never take advantage of him. Who do you think I am? What’s he told you? Or anyone else. That’s bullshit, doc. I would never, ever take advantage of him, especially now that he’s trying to get better.”
Leland carefully ripped open a packet of earl grey, plopped the bag in hot water and slowly steeped her tea. She turned to listen to Stephanie’s rant, blinking at the different curse words that popped up and leaned next to the chilled window. “You don’t trust him to choose for himself. You may not realize it, but think over what you just said to me. You’re afraid he’ll go ruin what he’s worked on because he put his sanity on the line for his friends in Arkham City. I saw the condition he was in when that riot was over, Stephanie. I know how far he’s willing to push himself. There’s nothing wrong with questioning what he wants to do, but he can’t say no to you right now. Think about the consequences.” Leland had expected Stephanie to get angry. In a way she was facilitating it. Still, it did very little to help the blonde’s case. “If your fears that he’ll choose incorrectly or push himself too far again without you are right, then he cannot leave Arkham in the near future. If your fears are wrong, you should have a conversation with him about this.”
The doctor shook her head and cupped her tea with both hands. “People take advantage without realizing it. If you asked him to do anything, even at the greatest expense for himself, Edward would do it. That wasn’t always the case, Stephanie. That’s why I’m concerned. If he gives all of himself up for you, there won’t be an Eddie left. Or, at least, not one you recognize.”
As Leland messed around with her tea and stared out the window to the sea, Stephanie stooped to pick up her discarded items and stood back up with a snap. She didn’t look at Leland, only pushed her chair back with a loud scratch across the floor, and took a pacing round through the tranquil room. “Oh, I’m sorry, you know him better than I do,” she mumbled, waving her hands defensively in front of her as she took a turn around the zen garden. “Sorry you had to see him at his worst.” When Stephanie couldn’t get someone to understand, she turned to spiteful, guilt-ridden rants that were more passive aggressive than sometimes even she realized. She was sorry that she hadn’t been there when Eddie was at one of his lowest points; she would give anything to have been there. Steph only knew from snippets of conversations or whispers of the stress when she saw him in pictures or in person.
Stephanie stopped her pacing and turned to look at the good doctor. “You’re doing a really, really good job of making it sound like I’m trying to make him worse. That it might be my fault, doctor. What the hell do you want me to do? Stop talking to him? Keep my distance?” Angry tears pricked the corners of her eyes. The stress of the last few months were building and building, and the blonde bat was near the breaking point. She pointed to herself, and as she spoke, she fought to keep her voice as even as possible. Even if she wasn’t doing a perfect job. “I’m the one who wants him to get better the most. I would never do anything to ruin that for him.”
Leland offered a sad smile and shook her head. “I know you aren’t trying to make him worse. If you were, you wouldn’t be allowed to see him as often as you do.” She lightly blew her cup of tea and took a small sip. “I’m only trying to give you a different point of view. And, I’d like it if you spoke to Edward about all of this. He’ll deny any harm done to him at first, but he responds to logic if it’s presented by someone he cares about. Distance is the last thing I want for the two of you.” The doctor’s voice turned a little softer as Stephanie appeared to be close to tears and made a small sympathetic sound as if she hadn’t intended to push the girl that far.
“I think you’ve been very brave through all of this, Stephanie.” Leland kept her eyes on the blonde until the young, angry thing looked up at her. “Eddie knows how brave you’ve been for him and he’s putting unnecessary pressures on himself to feel worthy. That’s something I can’t help him with, but you can. I need your help because I want him out of here and healthy as soon as possible.”
Stephanie hastily wiped the tears from her eyes, pretending like Leland hadn’t seen or heard a thing. She knew that Eddie was probably in worse shape than she, but that didn’t make the time apart hurt any less for her. And though she’d gotten as far back to normal as she possibly could, the hurt still bubbled underneath the surface. The sting of him falling apart and she not being able to do a goddamn thing about it. Leland had to understand that. Eddie was in pain, but so was his little blonde bat, and it wasn’t going to be fully healed any time soon. But, there were steps both of them could take, and Stephanie wasn’t so hardheaded that she was completely ignoring Leland’s observations. It was true that Eddie was becoming a lot less argumentative. Diagon Alley proved that he was ready to bend his will for her happiness, even if it was buried under the guise of the happy mania of seeing each other again after so long. Even snippy little comments that might have set him off were simply pushed to the wayside. Stephanie thought that was just a side-effect of the drugs. Not some strange, twisted guilt that had him desperate to please her.
“Thanks,” she mumbled before pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes and letting out a long, heavy, and drawn-out sigh. “So you want me to just...what, tell him to stop being so self-sacrificing?” Stephanie sounded like she didn’t think it was that simple, and she certainly didn’t think it was that simple.
“I want you to tell him what I told you and have a conversation about it.” Leland said, pushing off the wall and walking back over to her chair to sit down. “Be honest with him about how difficult this has been for you. Tell him what you’re looking forward to once he gets better. Even if things don’t go smoothly the first round of talking, it’s still progress.” She took a longer sip of tea and set the cup down next to the papers on the small table next to her.
Leland paused to look at her notes and then a little smile betrayed her. “Edward and I first started having tea together before he admitted that he needed full sessions with me. Tea every other Wednesday at my office where he talked about everyone except for himself. I found it odd for someone with documented extreme narcissism.” The emphasised extreme was as close to a joke as Leland ever got. She even almost chuckled at it.
“Then one day he started answering questions I asked him about himself and realized on his own that he had wanted therapy all along. He plans things out without realizing it, sometimes. Tricks himself.” Leland inhaled calmly and watched Stephanie’s expression with a look of compassion. “Sometimes it’s a good thing. Sometimes it gets him in trouble. If he didn’t have people to talk to, then he’d never escape himself, I don’t think.” That was as far as Leland was willing to go into her analysis of Edward Nigma. She didn’t mention how The Riddler would scream for people to talk to in Arkham a long time ago. How only a two-way mirror and the mere thought that someone was giving him the time of day would stave off anxiety attacks. The scary part of Nigma’s mind wasn’t something Stephanie needed to be reminded of.
The blonde bat almost laughed, too, at Leland’s tiny jab, and she couldn’t stifle the scoff that slipped out. “I think extreme might be an understatement,” she teased quietly, wiping away the remnants of angry tears from the corners of her eyes before beginning to pace again as Leland spoke. Stephanie always heard other’s opinions of Eddie, but it was different to hear a professional offer her assessment of the green man. Leland was probably the only other woman in Gotham who understood Eddie as well as Stephanie did, understood where he came from, how he was before this Gotham, and how he was trying to change. The only other person in Gotham who knew Eddie’s mind so intimately because he wanted her to know.
“He’s really bad at talking about himself sometimes, but so am I.” Stephanie shrugged. It was how they were raised: use humor or violence or something else to avoid actually acknowledging problems. She finally made her way back to the chair and flopped down, dropping the hat and gloves to her feet once again. “He’s always going to have me to talk to, doctor.” There was a pause, and she stared at her hands. The blonde still felt bits of anger biting at her brain, but she tried her best to quell it with some deep breaths. If Leland wanted her out of Eddie’s life, she could do it in a flash, no question. So, all of this had to come from a good place, even if the good doctor knew exactly which wound to rub salt in.
“I’ll talk to him. I’ll try. Okay? I can’t make--I can’t promise anything, I don’t know how he’ll take it.” Steph cleared her throat, looking at the older woman for a second before looking up at the ceiling again. “We’re notoriously bad at others poking in at our relationship. It doesn’t ever really end well.” She laughed for a second, something quiet and sad, and she wondered how much Eddie told her about their problems before all of this. She wasn’t going to bridge the conversation, of course. “Can I see him now?”
Leland nodded and made a noise like she understood that the rest of Gotham had a tendency to poke at the two. She put her hands up in a small sign of defense. “No poking here. But, everybody needs help once and a while.” The doctor glanced at her watch and then nodded at Stephanie. “Of course you can. He’s currently working on building a computer. One of the guards will take you down to the workshop.” Leland stood and stretched out her hand to shake. “Let me know if you need anything, Stephanie.” The doctor leveled a look at the blonde, placing one hand over hers as they shook hands to show she really meant it and then gestured towards the door.
In the hallway stood a guard (an older man with a moustache who had stories to tell about Killer Croc) that lead Stephanie down the hall to the elevator and across the yard to a series of therapy rooms. No one besides Eddie was allowed in the workshop area due to the sharp objects and electronics. Even Eddie had to go through a series of therapy sessions and trials of patience to earn the right to be in there and it was only recently that Leland had allowed him to work on building a new computer rig. But, the workshop was made his the second he was given access to it. Like a territorial gang member spray painting an insignia on the wall, the room was so Eddie in every way.
In the corner was the model train he had sent her pictures of chugging away with green lights decorating the edges through a Halloween themed town complete with handpainted pumpkins, haunted houses, graveyards and a Nightmare Before Christmas curled hillside. There were tables covered in ancient electronics, anything from telephones to record players. Then there were towers of tools, pieces of equipment, wires and all kinds of tiny parts and pieces that he had Leland pick up for him in order to repair whatever she gave him. Finally, on the table next to the door was a meticulous layout of his new rig. Still not completely built, but on its way to being a pretty sweet looking computer.
Eddie was hunched over the table, inspecting the motherboard he ordered when the door opened. He gave a stern, respectful nod to the guard with the moustache and then beamed at Stephanie. “Hey, baby. About time you got here.” With a push from the table he rolled his spinny chair over to the door and grabbed Stephanie around the waist to tug her into his lap. “They finally let me have a computer. I’m going to try and talk them into letting me school the IT guys here in security protocols. You know, cause I like a challenge if I need to escape.” Eddie wiggled his eyebrows at the guard behind her who muttered a Very funny, Nigma as if those kinds of empty threats were cake compared to the other patients.
Stephanie smiled softly and squeezed the good doctor’s fingers, and there was a strange sort of ache in her chest as the younger woman recognized the compassion and concern in the other woman’s eyes. Clearly, Leland felt protective of Eddie in a way that most other people weren’t, something almost maternal that the little blonde bat desperately missed in her own life. She knew Eddie never quite had anyone who would stick up for his well-being without wanting anything in return, and she was happy that Leland seemed to begin to step into this role, but that didn’t make Steph miss her own mother any less. But, that wasn’t the point. There were more important things at hand. After quietly thanking Leland and promising to check in after the fact, she followed the guard down the hall, out to the courtyard, and towards the workshops. All the while turning her conversation with the doctor over and over in her head.
How was she supposed to talk to Eddie about this? Sure, Leland made it sound as simple as telling him what she thought, but that was never how it all worked out in reality, was it? As she strolled behind the guard, who seemed as nice as any asylum guard could be, she found herself trying to play through her conversation with Eddie. All the possible pratfalls and mistakes and yelling that could come out of it, and Stephanie felt a jolt of apprehension as the guard opened the door. Apprehension that had plagued her every conversation she had with the green man and every time she got to see him face-to-face recently. Frankly, she didn’t know if Eddie worked the same way he did a few months ago before all of these debacles. She promised Leland though, and she would try her best to at least talk about it.
Steph beamed right back when Eddie looked at her, and she had to bite away a bright grin threatening to betray how goddamn happy she was to see him. And, to see him working? That was just the icing on the cake. A month ago, she wondered if Eddie could ever return to this point. “I got a little detained,” she said, then fell into his lap with a squeak. One arm slung across his shoulders with both her legs hanging off to one side. “Hey.” She shot him a look that said to be nice to the guard before turning to the other man herself to flash him a smile and thank him as well. She figured this experience was far different than the one she would have had at Arkham City, and for that she was selfishly grateful. Glancing at the computer, then the train set, her lips curled into an easy smile. “It’s so much more beautiful and impressive in person.” Then, she turned her head until her nose almost touched his. “Hi, baby. I missed you.” Leaning forward, she pressed her forehead to his and closed her eyes. Forgetting momentarily about her conversation with Leland, or honestly anything else but him.
“Not as beautiful and impressive as you.” Eddie said, cheese on full power without giving one good goddamn about it. Being out in Gotham was different from being stuck in Arkham. He could make her feel special by dropping by her house with dinner or taking her out on a date night in Gotham. In Arkham he only had a limited amount of time to show her how important she was and so over the top expressions of affection would have to do. “I missed you, too.” He whispered, dark eyes studying the blonde’s face for a hint as to how she was doing before he pulled it out of her. Eddie saw something hurt and hidden behind her happiness seeing him and his head tilted a little in a silent question that went both unasked and hopefully unnoticed.
He stole a quick kiss and mumbled a few I love yous into her shoulder before turning the chair around and backpedaling towards the train display. “Halloween themed. I’m thinking of making the transition over to Christmas without losing the Jack Skellington flavor.” Eddie leeeaaanned over as far as he could without making her get off his lap and pushed a couple buttons to make the trains chuga chuga to life. All of the locomotives seemed to be in top shape even though they were clearly made of mismatched, antique parts that had been scrapped together.
Eddie watched it proudly for a couple moments and then looked back at Stephanie. “I can’t believe you’re letting me bore you with my trains.” He teased, reaching to brush some blonde hair away from her face. “How’s your day been? How’s school?” And, that became a typical question everytime he spoke to her. Even back before Arkham he asked her how her day was regularly in a show of true interest in her life, but now it seemed more important that he wasn’t so obviously part of it.
She didn’t stifle the eyeroll when he cheesed affection towards her, but the twitching corner of her mouth told him that she didn’t actually disapprove of his exaggerated compliments as she let on. No one else in Gotham could make her feel as special and loved and wanted as Eddie could, not in the way Eddie could at the very least, and having to wait for the few and far between moments made her savor it all the more. “Do you really want to talk about how beautiful and impressive you think I am?” Steph asked as if it was the most outlandish thing he could ever do. She didn’t catch the searching gaze of his dark eyes, too preoccupied in trying to take in every second of being so close to him that she didn’t even consider he would be trying to dig into her own brain. No, she had to dig into his, why would he want to pick at hers? Too busy taking in his handywork with steady green eyes and trying to press every inch of her body against his.
“It’s not boring,” she admitted earnestly, tracing the outline of the Halloween themed town in the air with a single finger. “I’m really, really happy that you’re working on stuff, Eddie. Even if it’s lame trains,” she teased, turning to him and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before turning back. “Now this can stay around if you want it to. Especially if you keep it Jack-themed.” Catching his gaze in the corner of her eyes, she flashed him a wry sort of smile before shifting in his lap enough to press herself against his chest. “I’m sure I missed you more.” Whether that was true or not was up for debate, but some mornings, when she woke up remembering he wouldn’t be next to her for at least a few more weeks, it definitely felt like it was her. Wrapping both her arms tightly around his neck, she pulled him into a tight embrace, pressing her lips to his throat a couple of times as she muttered her own declaration of love.
Pulling back, she kept one arm around his shoulder and slid the other down his chest. “School’s good. I’m going cross-eyed with all the papers I’m writing.” Steph began to play with his shirt, twisting it in her hands for a second before letting it go, and repeating the process over and over. “I might be getting a work placement soon, if everything goes well. And I’ve been patrolling as much as I can, but it’s been hard.” She stopped suddenly, blues meeting browns, and hand moving to rest on his collarbone. “How are you, baby?”
Eddie knew it was a bad sign when her hands twisted something between her fingers and he hid a look of panic against her shoulder. What could she possibly be keeping from him? He tried to listen to her talk about school and papers. Each stroke of her hand against his shirt knocking his mind off into a new possibility of what could be wrong. He kept himself from dwelling, though, knowing full well that he’d think of the worst possible scenario first and then spiral from there into some ungodly, unthinkable territory that could get him shaking in fear even on his medication. A man with such a complicated mind needed to know how to navigate it, after all.
When she stopped talking and quickly looked up at him, Eddie fumbled for a neutral gaze and then immediately looked up at his trains as if they were helping him think. “I’m good. Excited about the computer. I’m-” Eddie’s dark eyes slowly rolled back down to look at her and he pressed his lips together. “You sure you’re okay? Did I do something wrong?” Because lately, if Stephanie was upset, Eddie immediately blamed himself. Even if it had something to do with the Batfamily or school or even if her father had somehow returned from the grave. It wasn’t always that way and there used to be a time that Eddie felt like he was one of the only constant good things in her life. Nowadays? It always boiled down to being his fault first and his responsibility to fix it somehow.
He pointed off to a corner behind the trains. “Come on, let’s go sit. They can hear me pretty much everywhere I go, but the illusion of privacy is a nice thing, isn’t?” Eddie tapped the side of her ass with his hand to get her to stand up and then walked over to the corner with her to take a seat on the floor, hidden by stacks of electronics and safe behind the sounds of his miniature Halloween town.
Stephanie knew she wasn’t hiding things very well by the way Eddie reacted. The neutral gaze gone awry, the subtle shake of his body under hers, the nervous way he spoke. She mentally cursed at herself for not being able to keep the semblance of happiness for a little while longer. Because god, was she happy to see him, to have him in her arms, to watch as he tinkered with his electronics, but her conversation with Leland kept weighing on her mind. She worried that Leland wasn’t completely right, that maybe she wasn’t good for the riddled man and his recovery. And when Eddie asked Stephanie if she was sure she was okay, she bit down on her bottom lip and looked away. “Oh, god, baby no,” she breathed, turning back to him briefly and measuring a look that told him he had to be kidding.
She slipped off his lap and followed him to the corner, shrugging off her coat and dropping it to the floor in the process. “It’s not your fault,” she repeated her assurance as they slid to the floor. Technically, it wasn’t. None of this was anyone’s fault, but that didn’t make it easier for Stephanie to talk about it with him. Reaching for his hands, she pulled them into her lap, cupping them between their own and playing with his fingers. She didn’t look at him, didn’t have the courage suddenly to just face him, but just kept staring down at their hands. It was amazing to her sometimes how perfectly their hands fit together, and as she built up the guts to talk, she marveled at just that. Pressed her slightly smaller hand palm-to-palm with his, matching her fingers and thumbs and trying to line up the etches in the skin on their palms.
“Before they let me come see you, they brought me to another room here. Up in the main building, the one with the zen garden?” She tapped her index finger against his. “Leland was there. We had a talk.”