Re: first class ; baths
"I don't believe I deserve redemption," the boy replied after a moment, and there was sadness in his expression as he looked out over the water, shoulders down, acceptance of the lot he had been given. Through the years, he had grown to believe that everyone had their part to play, and some were simply more enjoyable than others. Life was not happiness, not pleasure and enjoyment, not for everyone. Not for him. "And I thought that there might be," he said after a moment, his voice whisper-soft. "But I was wrong. Mistaken. I held on for hope only to have it shattered so thoroughly in front of me." Another kick in the water, frustration in the gesture, and then the boy leaned back on his mismatched hands, tilting his head up towards the ceiling, imagining that he could see the stars through the walls that separated them from the sky.
He was quiet for a long while, listening to the sound of the water around them, the dry words offered by Death beside him. "You are not meant to feel, yet you do, don't you?" He turned to look at him, knowing, understanding. "Some people thought that I could not feel either, so they threw rocks and stones, harsh words and insults, but I could feel every one of them, wounded just as deep. Feeling is... pain, I believe." He let out a long breath, thinking over the answer that was given to him. Yes, Death would take him should he ask, and maybe it was time. He was unafraid, sitting there in the company of the reaper, and he had said that it was best to great Death as a friend, not something to be feared, a monster in the dark.
"A few more minutes," he said after a moment. "A few more minutes, and then I will." The breath he released then was shuddery, full of a sadness that went deeper than his bones. "I would say I would like to wait to tell her goodbye, but she is better without me. But a few more minutes. For myself."