eddie likes to (riddlethem) wrote in doorslogs, @ 2013-10-09 07:38:00 |
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Entry tags: | door: harry potter, riddler, stephanie brown |
Who: Eddie and Steph (part one)
Where: Diagon Alley
When: Recently
What: Checking out another door! Making trouble! Feelings!
Warnings: Mostly swears
Adelaide Gunner stood in front of an unfamiliar door in Passages, twirling an unfamiliar key between her fingers. Before Dolores had left for a family wedding, she had given Addy the key for the door that withheld the entire Wizarding World behind it. And while Harry Potter had never been one of her fancies (who had time for a boy wizard when you were trying to achieve all she wanted?), her blonde bat of an Alter could not be more thrilled at the aspect of wandering around Wizarding England for a few hours. Given how fragile and upset and angry Stephanie had been the past few weeks, Addy didn’t have the heart to fight the girl on the matter, and after telling Tom to be there at the allotted time, she gave the blonde bat a quick trip through to Gotham in order to get some things she might need settled. (See, Stephanie and Addy had a deal where the women would split time fairly unless there was some crisis going on over at either side of the door, but Addy had a show to prepare for. Stephanie wasn’t going to get that much extra time today, so she had to make it count.) After walking Matilda and gleefully telling the dog she was going to see her human daddy (which elicited an excited tail wag), she snapped a picture of the dog on the tablet phone she had as a journal for Eddie later. She then stopped by Frank’s home for an hour, letting them know she and Eddie would be seeing each other for a few hours, though not in what capacity it would happen. Marie smiled at her sadly and squeezed her hand, Frank hugged her, and Frankie, Jr. asked her to tell Uncle Ed that he had been watching all of the Gotham Knights games. She ruffled the little boy’s hair and kissed him on the cheek as he handed her a drawing of a dragon-dinosaur hybrid he’d drawn for Eddie.
She dressed slowly, picking out an outfit that would be appropriate for England in the fall, but also something that felt nice. She wanted to look nice for Eddie after not seeing him for ages. It had been hard, not seeing him since before he had been taken by the feds and locked away in that hell where he had been left to lose his mind. Which he had. That was what worried Stephanie the most, what that place had done to Eddie. How it had unraveled him and finally became the tipping point to have himself committed. Sure, it was for her own benefit, for him to get better and not turn her into some twisted Bonnie to his Clyde, but that didn’t mean she didn’t miss him desperately. She missed him so much she couldn’t breathe sometimes. There was a difference between talking on the journals or through the comms or on the phone and actually having him close enough to touch. And the thought that she would be able to hold his hand and crush her mouth against his had her heart thumping in her chest.
Eventually, she dressed in a black corduroy skirt, white t-shirt, black boots, and a thick purple cardigan. It was all very mature and normal, until you looked at her purple dinosaur knee highs that she couldn’t resist wearing. A little dash of playfulness among all the seriousness, just like Stephanie. And, so with the bag slung over her shoulder of things to give to Eddie, she pushed herself through the door to have Addy wander over to the HP door. The older woman stood for a few minutes longer than necessary, hoping that this wouldn’t be some strange violation of Passages physics to step through to a door not assigned to you. But then she thought, eh fuck it and unlocked the door. Leaving the key on the floor in front, she stepped forward, and it was Stephanie in her dinosaur knee highed glory that blinked awake again.
The little blonde bat had to use her hand to muffle a meep of excitement as she looked at her surroundings. Immediately, she recognized herself in the Leaky Cauldron, the famous bar in the Harry Potter world where Harry was first really introduced to magic. It was still dim as she had seen, lit by candlelight and smoke billowing around the air. No one noticed the young blonde who popped into existence as people popping in and out of the air was the norm in this place. None of them looked up from their conversations or their glasses of firewhiskey or the objects they were levitating to practice some spells. And Stephanie watched all of them with wide eyes, and muttered a quiet, “Oh my god.” Truly enamoured, even if she was a muggle amongst the wizards, and she forgot for just a second that she was supposed to have Eddie there by her side. When she did remember, she scanned the room over and over, waiting to see him appear out of thin air as she had.
Arkham City did things to Eddie that in any other Gotham couldn’t be fixed. Too many plans were snagged and tangled, too much chaos littered the streets. It all made the riddled man try to piece everything together, to try and connect dots that weren’t there. When Leland finally visited him locked away in that cell under the courthouse, he told her what an elephant and a tow truck had in common while struggling against the straight jacket they had put him in and she saw how Arkham had crawled under his skin. Any other Gotham doctor would have let it fester and any other Riddler would cling to that feeling of questions, puzzles, mysteries and solutions like there wasn’t anything left in this world. It could have been disaster, it could have been the rebirth of a true Gotham rogue, but Eddie had hope. Eddie believed that even through his tangled riddles he could get through to see Stephanie again.
So, they sent him to New Arkham and told him to start over.
His treatment started with anxiety medication, clean rooms and long walks through the guarded facility. It was almost exactly the Arkham he remembered, but everything seemed fresh, bright and functional. Leland wasn’t a good warden for Arkham City that mixed Blackgate with the criminally insane, but she understood how asylums operated and quickly snapped everything back into place. By the end of the week, Eddie didn’t see the floating connections that unplugged him from reality anymore. He remembered how to focus his attention on other things besides riddles and spent most of his time trying to relax. Which, admittedly, wasn’t something the riddled one was naturally good at. He made things. Tea cozies, pressed flowers, nicknacks for Stephanie. Items that gave him something to hold onto. To keep his focus on getting better and getting out.
Neither Tom nor Eddie agreed to visit another door until Eddie was ready. He was still taking daily medication and the scars from Arkham City could be seen from behind his dark eyes, but he was cracking wise again and dreaming of seeing his blonde bat. Eddie had claimed that he could survive without Stephanie and for the most part that was still true, except she was the main motivator to go as clean as he could manage. Without Stephanie, he would have escaped with the other criminals and lived his life on the run like Selina or Harley. Without Stephanie he could have let his riddles run wild and let them take him where they wanted. With Stephanie, he felt the need to be a better man for her. The kind of man who didn’t need to be talked down from his riddles or stray too far into the darker shades of grey. He wanted to be good for her because he loved her and wanted, more than anything, to have a real shot at a life with her.
The transformation back to mangable obsessions and panic attacks wasn’t complete, however, and it made him nervous. She should have seen him fully healed. Think of it like pulling the gears out of a clock to show someone. Tom suggested as he walked through the door. The gears were still beautiful, strange and curious on their own, weren’t they? Eddie focused on the different parts that made up a clock as he landed in the Leaky Cauldron across from Stephanie. Her back was turned, so he shot off into one of the side hallways where the bathrooms were (loos as the Brits called them, adorably) and pushed the door open to change. He was still in his Arkham grey scrubs, but Tom had pushed him through with a Vegas tailored suit and a messanger bag of stuff Eddie had made in Arkham for Stephanie. Eddie ignored strange looks from robed wizards, snuck inside of an empty stall and got dresses as fast as he could. It was a perfectly tailored suit (Eddie made a lot of tailor friends in Vegas while he was there) of blue, light green and white that fit the more eccentric men of the wizarding world. He hopped to put on his shoes, making a little noise as he hit the stall door a couple times and then straightened his tie and went over to the mirror.
Eddie’s face looked worn from the City, but there were glimmers of energy and healthiness around his cheekbones. He practiced a smile. It wasn’t great. He tried again. A little too forced. It would have to do. Another moment passed and he pushed the bathroom door open with typical Nigma pomp and circumstance, strolled back into the Leaky Cauldron proper and cupped his hands around his mouth. “Stephanie Brown!” Eddie yelled in the direction of the blonde, alerting pretty much everyone in the bar in the process. When she turned, he smiled.
It was finally a good smile.
The pitter-patter of anticipation almost drowned out the dull clattering of forks to plates, of drinks going to rest on tables, of cauldrons bubbling and brewing in the background. Stephanie hadn’t seen Eddie in practically a month, and to see him again here added to the mixture of excitement and twinge of panic that vibrated through her body. She tried to focus on two people in the corner in their robes whispering about something and pouring over a book that Stephanie could tell had charms written all over it. She almost walked over to ask them about it, but it would be weird, wouldn’t it? So, she stood there and wrung her hands together nervously, drawing some more attention to herself than before. She wished then that she could have Harry’s Invisibility Cloak to hide away until Eddie appeared. Practice a warm look or how to hide surprise or concern if Eddie didn’t look as well as she remembered.
And as she was reminding herself that he wouldn’t look that well, she heard a familiar voice shouting her name across the otherwise quiet bar. Her neck jerked so quickly in the direction of that noise that it was almost a miracle she didn’t break her neck. It was different hearing his voice in person than over a low-quality voice memo or a video or even the comms. She could hear that smarminess that Eddie Nigma was famous for in their world, that garnered a lot of strange looks in this world. “Eddie,” she said breathlessly, in that way she did when she was surprised or just so full of love for him that she could barely get enough air to speak. From that distance, she couldn’t see the wear and tear Arkham left in him. From there, she could only see that he was standing there, in the flesh, in a suit and tie that she didn’t realize she could miss so much until now.
She stood in her spot for a moment, breath knocked out of her and stupid smile spreading across her face, and then she took off. A brisk walk that turned into a run which eventually turned into a tackle as she finally reached him, and she jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Her bag fell unceremoniously to the floor, but she didn’t care. There Eddie was, in her arms, and she couldn’t help the little shake that moved through her as she buried her face into the crook of his neck. “Baby, oh god, baby,” Stephanie muttered against his skin as one of her hands drifted up to tangle in the dark curls of his hair. She pressed a kiss there, but didn’t remove herself just yet. She wanted to see if he felt different, smelled different, acted different. If this wasn’t her Eddie as she remembered, she could still have a few stolen moments of pretend until reality crashed down.
Months ago, back in February, the running tackle would have resulted in a crash and burn scenario. Eddie was never good at thinking on his feet until he met Stephanie. He couldn’t even dance to anything that didn’t require certain steps. But, if there was one thing that she improved besides his heart, it was his ability to improvise. Suddenly he was capable of dancing like an idiot with her in his living room and catching her the second he saw the beginning of her leaping hug. What could have been so messy actually turned into a graceful push back on one foot as his two arms wrapped around her, holstered her up and kept her there as he leaned on the nearest wall for support.
“Hey, baby.” Eddie said into her hair, grinning like an idiot and watching the befuddled patrons over her shoulder. Two loud, muggle Americans. Ruining everything. He loved it. “I tried to think of a good scale for how much I missed you, but I don’t think even I can count that high.” Eddie murmured. His speech was a little more even without the sudden geeky highs, but the energy had come back in full force once she leapt into his arms. He was a little stronger from his time in Arkham City and he smelt like bath salts, old fashioned soap and honey. None of the chemicals from his cologne that he hadn’t managed to convince Leland to buy for him yet.
Still, there was a strong freshness about him that was new. He leaned back to look at her, smiling as he gazed longer than he should have into her blues, lines crinkling around his eyes as he smiled. “Your heart is beating like a goddamned typewriter.” But, his was, too.
She was glad that he could hold her up and support her in a way she wasn’t sure he could before. When they first started sleeping together, when they argued on his staircase, he couldn’t quite steady himself as he held her up. Now, months later, she could rely on him. She trusted him in a way she couldn’t have before everything they’d gone through. She didn’t even think twice about how running in his arms would test him nor about the reactions the patrons of the bar might have. No, she just wanted to wrap every inch of him within her embrace and never let him go. Never, ever, ever let him out of her arms again, even if she knew that was completely impossible.
“I missed you as much as--,” Stephanie started, but cut herself off with a laugh and a shake of a head. No, she couldn’t think of anything that could compare to how much she had longed for him and his geeky green during the preceding few weeks that had passed. She couldn’t articulate it, so she spoke through the way she pressed every inch of herself that she could against him, how her fingers dug into his skull with just enough pressure to let him know she was there. The way she pressed a sweet kiss to the bits of his neck that were exposed. He did smell different, and he didn’t have the sharp smell of the cologne that she remembered filling her nose every time she pulled him close. The only remnants she had of that now were lingering on the math t-shirts she had been sleeping in every night since he was locked away from her.
When he pulled back to smile at her, she smiled back softly, using the moment to measure a look into his dark browns. She was searching for little signs of course, things that shouted he’s still sick! to her, but the first thing she saw was the little lines around his eyes as they crinkled for the easy smile. She relinquished her hold on his hair to trace those crinkles with airlight touches of her fingertips. “I’m just. I’m really, really excited to see you, Eddie. I can’t help it.” She tried to shoot him a pointed look to tell him she felt his heart hammering against her chest, too, but it got lost in all the blue-eyed stupid happiness that she couldn’t squash if she tried. “I missed you so much,” Stephanie said as her fingers drifted across his cheekbone, which was a little more pronounced, and down to cup his jaw. She wanted to go off on ramblings of how he never should leave her, how they should just stay here to hide, how she couldn’t breathe without him, but she bit those down. Just stupidly happy instead, and smile spreading further across her mouth until she leaned forward to catch his mouth with hers. He tasted different, too, just a little. Sharp and alert and there. Fresh and new.
His own heartbeat calmed faster than it normally did and there was a lack of vibrating, electronic energy through his fingertips. There was no lack of careful study on his part, however and he watched how she looked at him for cracks in the plaster. And, who could blame her? The infamous Riddler actually going in for treatment, accepting medication and doing whatever Leland told him to do. No one had seen a rogue try so hard to go straight since Harvey and everyone knew how that turned out. He wanted to ask what she saw that was different. But, maybe conversations like that were better suited for later once she got to spend some time with him.
“Then, let’s just try to get as many I miss you’s in today as we can.” Eddie’s smile turned loose and he almost asked her if she was going to kiss him or what, but he didn’t have to. She caught his lips with hers and he felt a buzzing, familiar moment of bliss cloud away any worry he had about seeing her again. His hands tightened around her back. The kiss was familiar enough that he felt safe to deepen it, his feelings for her bubbling into passion that he hadn’t felt since the last time he saw her.
Eddie’s hands wanted to roam everywhere. Up her legs, across her back, through her hair. In doing so, they slipped up their hold on her and he leaned his shoulder blades harder into the wall to make up for it before simply fumbling his grip around her all together. Everything was unraveling, but instead of seeing a solution like a series of riddles, he just went with it. “Get offa me.” He whispered against her lips playfully. “I want to see you.” Eddie waited for her to jump off him and then he walked a circle around her, nodding and humming thoughtfully as he went until he rounded back to her front and rubbed his chin.
“Trying to out maneuver me with those impressive dinosaur socks won’t work Stephanie.” He informed her, wagging his finger as he kneeled down to pull up the left side of his trousers to reveal a pair of masculine T-Rex ONLY socks. “I see you have some herbivores on there that are truly a complete waste of good T-Rex space.” Eddie looked up at her, running a hand along the side of her ankle before wrapping his arms around her waist and digging his face into her belly. Another string of I miss yous and I love yous lost against her body.
Stephanie easily lost herself in the embrace, her I miss you’s dying on her tongue as he deepened the kiss in spite of being in full plain view of most of the bar. Loud obnoxious muggle Americans, indeed. As her fingers tangled in his hair again, and as she pushed her body into his as best she could, she did (in the back of her mind, at least) recognize the lack of usual electric buzz that shot through his veins and how his heart rate normalized so much faster than before, faster than hers even. But, before she could think about it more, his hands were wandering across her body, and she whimpered just a tiny bit against his mouth. A noise that spoke volumes on her feelings about the entire mess that she could hardly articulate when he took her breath away like that. She loved the messy fumbling, and she was guilty of doing the same, fingers digging into any bit of him they could reach.
She grumbled a tease towards him when he asked her off, rolling her eyes in that way he’d seen too often as she unraveled her legs and slid off his body. She snatched her bag off the floor as he swooped around her like a shark sniffing for blood. Biting down on her lip to quell a sarcastic quip about him preying on her delicate sensibilities, she watched him with innocent eyes as he chastised her for trying to one-up him. Her blue eyes flashed with delight when she caught sight of the socks hidden underneath his trousers, and a bright grin spread across her lips before he buried his face into her stomach. “Maybe I’m an equal opportunity dinosaur-lover, Eddie. You should give it a try,” she teased while she threaded her fingers in his dark curls, and she stood there for a moment before stooping down to press a kiss to the top of his head, then smooth his hair. “C’mere,” she said, snagging his collar with her fingertips and tugging at it until he got up. When he caught her gaze, he would see blues with a teary sort of happiness that she was fighting so hard to keep from her voice, but she ultimately failed miserably. “I missed you so much, Edward Nashton.” And there it was, that crack in her voice. She pressed a slow, affectionate kiss to his lips, not devoid of the passion from before but more measured and soft than gnashing need for him. “Do you want to try a firewhiskey before we get thrown out of here for indecency?” she asked against his lips after a moment, smirk crawling up the side of her mouth and eyes heavy-lidded.
Before he responded, she skated her hand down his arm and grabbed his hand in hers to drag him over to a table. “I have something from Frankie for you. He’s been asking about you nonstop. He told me to make sure you knew that he’s keeping up with the Knights for you. Which I have, too, but I don’t want to steal his thunder.” Stephanie squeezed his fingers and tugged him forward again.
Eddie closed his eyes and sighed a small laugh into her stomach. It was a wonder how quickly they could fall back into easy quips and spitfire wit even when they had been through hell and back without each other. It could have been as easy as humor being a mutual coping mechanism. It could have been that being with her was easy and it was the rest of the world that made it so difficult. He looked up when she pulled his collar and he got to his feet like a puppet being dragged to life, dark eyes set on hers without any care or wonder about the patrons staring around them. And, her kiss, the one that was all sweetness and loving that he never had from anyone except her, made the rest of the pub blur and fade around them. He didn’t want to let her go, his fingers threading between hers as he leaned down to rest his face in the crook of her neck.
“Oh, firewhiskey.” Eddie had voiced an interest plenty of times to try the stuff, but he didn’t want to take a chance with the chemicals keeping his shaking anxiety back. “I shouldn’t.” Eddie gave her a momentary look that almost seemed embarrassed. “With the- I probably shouldn’t.” He tried a smile, making hand motions around his head and then shrugged. “Pumpkin juice sounds more appetizing anyway.” Eddie gave her a look like he’d talk about it with her once they got settled, pulling his messenger bag off his shoulder and setting it down on the table. “I’m going to go pawn off some jewelry so we have spending money, okay baby?” He asked, going through the bag until he found a satchel of cloth that was tied with string. “I had Tom go buy me some in Vegas with my old gambling money. It’s either that or pickpocket and-” Eddie made a pppbbbttthhlll! noise and tossed the jewels in the air before apparently vanishing them all together. See? That was why old timey magic was still cool.
“I’ll be back in a second.” He reached over the table to kiss her face, squeeze her hands and then he was off, shooting past a couple witches who had opened the magic wall into the Alley with that charming smile and polite excuse me’s. What was left was his bag on the table. Stuffed with his grey Arkham scrubs, his tablet journal and a couple wrapped things for her. If she managed to dig deeper, she’d find a couple folded up pieces of paper. One detailing the anti-anxiety pills he was on in Leland’s handwriting with a note at the bottom that they’d start with the mild medication and work their way up if needed. Another note with a list in Eddie’s handwriting of things he wanted to accomplish when he got out: find a job he didn’t hate, keep Steph happy, don’t piss off the Bat family, don’t make deals with the mob. All the don’ts crossed out and replaced with more positive things like taking a walk in the park with Matilda and building something worthwhile. Finally, there was one last note. This one crumpled and at the very bottom of the bag. It was a list of zeros and ones followed by some messy riddles that slowly and painfully tapered off into designs for machinery he had built in Wonder City. The designs at first seemed strained, but eventually turned clean, clear and with loving notes about the machinery in the margins.
Eddie was gone for a good twenty minutes or so, but eventually he returned. Squeezing through an old wizarding married couple with a smile. First he ordered them drinks and then headed back to the table. “It took a little haggling, but-” Eddie tossed the overly full satchel on the table that was heavy with galleons. “That’s enough to keep us happy for today. Maybe even-” He changed his mind quickly, waving his hand as if to dismiss the thought and then sat down.
Stephanie hadn’t thought about medications or what kind of treatment plan Eddie had or how any of that would be affected by alcohol. She just wanted things to be normal between the two of them, whatever that normal was, and waving something in front of him that he wanted to try back when everything was okay seemed like the encouraging thing to do. But, she sensed immediately that she was wrong, that she hadn’t figured out what was taboo and what wasn’t yet, and she bit down hard on her lip. “Sorry,” she stuttered out, “I’m sorry, I should have--yeah, pumpkin juice.” She flashed him apologetic blues, so sorry that she wasn’t as good at picking up on things as she was before he landed in Arkham City. She suddenly felt like she needed a refresher course on all things Eddie Nashton, a new manual. A powerpoint presentation on the person she’d grown to know as well, if not better than, herself.
And, she hadn’t thought about spending money either, so she was glad that Eddie was going to take care of that. She shook her head with a smile when he almost suggested pickpocketing, as if she believed that he would do that anymore. “I’m not going anywhere,” she said as he leaned forward to kiss her. And, at first she was good about sitting still. Then, about five minutes in, she started to burrow through her bag that had a few things for him -- the drawing from Frankie, Jr., a picture of Matilda in her old, proper collar after Muerte’s visit, a handwritten note sprayed with his favorite perfume of hers that just said I love you in big, purple letters, the dog tag half of this of this, and again another picture he didn’t have of she and him from that day in the park after Bludhaven was finished. They both looked haggard in it, exhausted from the events of the night before and the weeks preceding, but Stephanie thought it was so honestly them. Still smiling and happy in each other’s arms even after a shitstorm of bullshit was thrown their way. Still able to find pieces of joy and wholeness and home in each other.
But, after she was finished looking through her bag and making sure she had everything, curiosity sparked in the back of her brain. Another minute of her chastising herself for digging through his things before she decided fuck it all and began burrowing into that messenger bag left on the wooden table. The scrubs, first, had her stomach lurching uncomfortably, and she quickly folded those and shoved them back out of sight. The idea that his green had been forcibly taken away from him made her sick, and she couldn’t face the prospect that it could be gone for good. (Though, he was wearing bits of green today, and she could take solace in that.) The journal was tossed back in quickly as well after she didn’t find much of anything of interest on it aside from a message from Crane. The wrapped presents were lifted towards the candlelight to see if she could discern anything from the shapes, but ultimately pushed back inside as well. Her fingers wiggled around inside until they snagged against a couple of pieces of paper that she couldn’t resist pulling out. Maybe they were the key she needed to unlock this new manual she would need for a newish Eddie.
The first was the prescription, and Stephanie’s stomach bubbled and lurched again. She knew he was going to give himself fully to treatment, but this was the hard, physical proof that he’d gone through with it. She wondered how much of himself he had lost already to the medication, and suddenly remembered the lack of electric buzz in his body when she wrapped himself around him moments before. Biting her lip, she pushed it to the side to look at the next paper, the list. This one had her fighting a twitching smile, a little amazed at how simplistic the things he wanted to do when he was on the outside were. But, that was what helping mental illness was about, right? Steps, however small. She stared at the list a little longer than she needed, and pushed it to the side as well in favor of the final scrap. The final piece of paper that had muddled scribbles all over the surface and had Steph swallowing back burning concern. She lost track of time as she poured over the paper. Tracing the numbers and letters and lines with tentative brushes of her fingertips. It burned her fingers, the way she imagined it burned his fingers as he frantically scribed all of his anxiety-driven riddles and puzzles.
The paper was still in her hand when she heard his voice, and she jumped. Caught redhanded. The bag was still open, the discarded papers shoved towards his side of the table, and the puzzle-riddle ridden scrap still in her hands. She dropped it immediately, spastically trying to cover up her sin and failing, and when she looked up at him, she cocked an eyebrow to distract from the worry that swam in her teary eyes. “Or even what, baby?” she asked, then sighed. He’d had to have seen her, right? “You said yourself I’m the nosiest person you know,” she said ruefully, apologetic smile crawling up her mouth.
Eddie leaned back in the chair, cradling his mouth with his hand as he bubbled out a chuckle at her. “You- no. You’re right. I’m not surprised.” He looked at what she had scavenged out of his bag and decided that it was pretty much everything. He laughed again, rubbing his face with a sigh before dragging his chair over next to her. “Remember who you’re talking to here. I wanted you to look. Not open the presents, though. Did you do that?” He checked. “Good. At least you showed an ounce of restraint.” Eddie teased, mouth flattening into an unbearably smarmy thin line, eyes never straying from her watery blues as he collected the piece of papers she had pulled out.
He pressed his body against hers, looping an arm under hers and leaning his head on her shoulder as he looked over the notes. “This is my medication. I had a panic attack the night of the riot so Leland put me on this stuff when I came to. It doesn’t get rid of the riddles, it just makes them less important. Like,” Eddie tilted his head up to look at her. “Like I got my feet on the ground. I was scared. I’m still a little scared, but it hasn’t taken away any of my brain power.” He knew that wasn’t going to be enough for Stephanie or really anyone who had known him this past year. Everyone from her to Selina would be looking for changes, clockwork in the little riddled man that got switched out for something smoother. Eddie didn’t mind. He liked being poked, prodded and paid attention to. His only worry, the one that lingered in the form of a lump in the back of his throat, was that they’d finally find something about him that they didn’t like and all this work would be for nothing.
Eddie reached for the next note, then stopped. “Even enough to stay the night somewhere.” He said, failing at pushing down that little twinge of hope in his voice. Part of him knew that their Vegas sides had lives and Eddie wanted to respect that. He also knew that Stephanie may not be comfortable being with him for that long. “Don’t answer now, okay? Spend some time with me and then you figure it out.” A moment passed and he pulled out the next note with a list of things he wanted to do when he got out. “This is just a goals list Leland made me make. Small stuff. Note the lack of dreams to be part of the Justice League.” He tossed it on the table and then finally came to the last note that had been smoothed over by her curious fingers. “And this is how I get my brain to focus. I start with binary, see the numbers up here.” Eddie traced his fingers down. “Then the riddles, patterns, random pieces of trivia.” Then he pointed the blueprints of machinery. “Then this. I try to recreate stuff I built. Add some notes about how it could be improved. This is a security system that I wanted to put in Wonder City before it got taken over. We’re trying to get here,” He pointed to the binary, “To the real genius. Without too many of the riddles in the way.”
She rolled her eyes again and bubbled out a breathless little laugh. “As if I would ever deny you the opportunity to brag about the things you’ve done for me.” Rubbing her eyes with the pads of her fingertips, she tried to push the glassiness out of her gaze. “Besides, if it’s something really, really bad I want you to see my reaction.” Or something really good, but she didn’t say that. He could insinuate that from the way she teased him, or if he remembered a sentence of his own Stephanie manual. She wasn’t really apologetic though of burrowing through his bag, not after he pointed out that he deliberately left his bag there. How he wanted her to look. And there, in that moment, she saw a glimmer of the smarmy son of a bitch she’d fallen in love with, the one that frustrated the shit out of her on any given day. Because he was a know-it-all, and a part of her was glad that the medication didn’t drown that out. Even if it drove her up the wall sometimes.
And, after that, she was a little more receptive of finding bits of Eddie that she remembered. The way his head felt resting against her shoulder. How the gaze of his dark brown eyes sometimes could arrest her in the spot in a way she’d never known or understood before he arrived in her life in this capacity. When he began to explain the notes, she just listened intently, rereading whatever was on the paper as he offered reasoning or whatever he wanted. As he spoke about the medication, she looked down at him as he looked up at her and recognized more and more of him by each passing moment. There were cracks of course, and god, did he look tired. Obviously, everything wasn’t going to just fall into place the way she wanted it to for him. Just fingers snapped and he was okay. No, it wouldn’t work out that way, but he was trying to navigate the mess to figure out a way that would work. And as much as that scared her, as much as she feared he would be torn to pieces and built into a man she didn’t recognize, she trusted him.
Steph flashed him a significant glance as he finished his sentence from earlier, and of course she wanted nothing more than to stay the night with him somewhere. She was ready to tell him that right then and there, even if there was a bit of trepidation about how being away might rattle him a little or god, what if she did something to set him off while they were there? So, she respected his wish not to tell him her decision, and just rested her head atop his. Traced the line he did on the last piece of paper and tried to make sense of the murky writings and ramblings on the paper. “Did you do this before?” she asked, finger still trailing down the paper until it reached the end, and after a second, she took his free hand in both of hers. Brushed her thumb against the back of his hand. Squeezed lightly. Tried for the easy affection they always used to comfort each other, though it may have been more of a comfort for her than for him at the moment. “Did you try to work out the...everything like that? Do you think it’s something you’ll have to do now?”
That was another question entirely, wasn’t it? What was Eddie supposed to do once they deemed him fit to live amongst the “sane” again? “What’s Leland told you about all your treatment?” She licked her lips nervously, squeezed his fingers again, and then pressed a kiss to the corner of his eye. “I want to know what you need to do, and what I need to do to support you. And what happened. None of the ugly details spared, okay?” Stephanie pulled back enough to shoot him an earnest look that told him she wanted it all, whether it was good, bad, or ugly.
Eddie hadn’t thought about all the riddles he had been keeping from Stephanie over the past year. It wasn’t so much that he was hiding part of himself, but simply not showing her every detail of his riddled genius. The real problem was that he didn’t know how much of that madness he needed to have moments of inspiration and if his madness was either the spark to the flame or a roadblock that would make him better on every level once it was eliminated. He thought that there needed to be balance. True balance. “It was worse before, actually. Why do you think I keep all my workspaces locked? The process isn’t pretty, which is why I started talking to Leland in the first place.” He said frankly, relieved that he could admit it even if he didn’t know how she’d react. That unknown was always welcome, though. He wasn’t just desperately attracted to her unpredictability. He found that it brought him back down from his mind games.
“Do you remember when Harv got surgery? Hush thought it’d get him to play with us, but he misunderstood how the two personalities work. Little did he know, Harvey is always going to be on the good side of the law. You take away Two-Face and any dealings he’s going to have with criminals is gone. Anyhow, it worked for a while and Harv did his best, but one little insinuation from Batman and everything went to pieces again. Harley’s the same way. She completely represses her love for the clown and the second he pops back into her life,” Eddie snapped his fingers. “She’s back in the ring with him. So, Leland thinks I’m never going to get all the way better. That the best thing to do is keep some of who I am and just pull back on my panic attacks. Keep going to therapy. Keep giving me things to live for beyond breaking the law.” Eddie sat up as the pumpkin juice was delivered to the table by a wary bartender, realizing that he looked a little like a kid resting his head on his mom’s shoulder and straightened his back.
He took a sip muttered an oh wow and then rolled his lips together appreciatively. “Yep, just as I imagined.” Eddie leaned to his side, looking to Stephanie as she tried some and then continued. “This past year, you know. For all the goddamned nonsense we’ve been through. All it’s really done is given me a big list of things to live for. It taught me stuff that being locked in Arkham didn’t. So, I gotta show progress. And, if I do, I get some visits outside of the asylum for the first month and then I get out for good with an ankle bracelet and regular trips to the doctor.”
Steph sighed. “You could have told me, Eddie. About how all of this,” she waved her hand over the paper he was still holding, “works, y’know. Honestly, I thought it was just you being cagey about things, the way that I’m cagey about certain things. I didn’t think--I remember the strings, and the clues, and your attack that morning, baby. I do. I just didn’t think that it...I didn’t realize how often all of that happens. Even if it’s just like, mildly there to help you work things.” She did snap a brief, yet angry look on him, and wrapped her arms around herself. “Don’t you think I can handle it?” she asked, a twinge of hurt in her voice. If he didn’t think she could, then this wasn’t going to end the way either of them wanted. So much of what they were hinged on trusting one another. “Because I can. Look, I know that I’ve been fucking upset the past few weeks, but you’ve gotta give me credit. I didn’t storm into the place, and I’ve given you space for your plans, and I’ve gone along with whatever you wanted, even when I didn’t want to. So, trust me, please? I don’t care if it’s ugly, or if it’s going to hurt, baby, I want to know.” Maybe she’d wandered a little off-topic, but she needed him to hear that.
She sipped the pumpkin juice, too, and her eyes lit up for a moment with delight. Oh, she could get used to this, though they would definitely have to track down some Butterbeer and Chocolate Frogs later if she was going to leave this place satisfied in any way. She placed her mug down and considered her riddled man at her side. “I’m not letting you go back, Eddie, not to that. Not even if you wanted to, or tried to.” The little blonde bat would never just him stroll back into the life he lead before they were together. Granted, he’d gotten close in Arkham, but both of them were aware enough that he couldn’t go back to strolling around and commanding goons for good. “I’ll sue Leland for malpractice if this doesn’t work,” she teased hollowly, then turned to sip at her drink again.
“Do you think you’re making progress?” she asked. Stephanie didn’t particularly like the idea of monitored visits or ankle bracelets or all of that because it hindered just snapping back to reality, but he was right. He need the slow process of getting well to actually continue becoming what he wanted to be. “How long do they want you in there? Two months?” The way she said it made it sound like two months was two decades. They’d gone for almost a month of not seeing each other, and she could hardly contain how much she missed him. And, while they had the key to another door, it would be hard to orchestrate visits and time away from Arkham if they weren’t going to get suspicious. “I want to know everything, step-by-step, as it’s happening, okay? And I want to help, Eddie. I need to be able to help you through this. I’ve felt so goddamn useless the past few weeks, so please, please tell me what I’m supposed to do for you. Besides the obvious, of course.” Calling, seeing him, writing letters. Letting him know that she was still out in Gotham waiting for his return.
Eddie fought back a smile when she started to argue with him keeping stuff from her and waved his hands in front of himself defensively. “It’s not like I was keeping a torture basement from you. It’s just like how I don’t make you sit through engineering documentaries unless you did something to piss me off. It’s a part of who I am that I can deal with. That I don’t want to burden you with unless it gets out of control.” He knew the case he was making still sounded a bit fishy and he leveled a look at her almost angry reaction that was a mix of it’s not a big deal and oh god please don’t make this a thing. Eddie was smart enough to have figured out by now that they were better off sharing everything they could with each other and trusting the other one to deal with their separate lives when they weren’t together. He paused, shoulders still up in defensive mode before they slowly lowered and he relaxed. “No, but, thank you. For being there. For getting me through the bad stuff. I appreciate it. You know I do. That’s not a question.”
He sighed, taking another sip and shot a smirk at her when she announced that she’d never let him return to a life of crime. “Going to pull me away kicking and screaming if you have to?” Eddie asked teasingly, though there was no threat of that in any part of him. Eddie hated acting like a criminal when it came down to it. All the time spent in Arkham City rattled him. Made him feel like he was carrying through with the motions. It reminded him of being that coin-operated boy a year ago and it made him sick. He didn’t want to go back and he never wanted to be put in a position where he’d have to. That was the tricky part.
His hand lifted to touch the side of her face, still a little cool from holding the glass and he smiled softly at her. “Two months. But, I’ll get to visit you plenty between that. It won’t be like Arkham City. Leland knows what you are to me. She gets it.” Eddie rubbed her cheek with his thumb and then leaned in for a pumpkin flavored kiss. “I’ll tell you everything. And, you’re going to be honest with me, okay? Tell me if you see something you don’t like. And, I’ll fix it. I always do.” Eddie’s dark eyes searched her blues and saw a steadiness there that was glassed over by tears before. He knew, he knew that when it came down to it, Stephanie was going to be there to take care of him if he needed her to. “Now, show me what you brought for me.”
She narrowed her eyes and simply went, “Nope, failing at that argument.” He didn’t get to get away with the whole trying to protect reasoning. Stephanie was almost offended by that. Sure, it was something he could manage by himself sometimes, but that didn’t mean he got to shelter her away from it. “If I did the same thing, you’d be all over me, Eddie, and don’t you deny it. You’d push me until I let you in, and so now I’m asking you to stop it. If you’re trying to get better, you have to let me in. Otherwise, it’s all for shit.” She shook her head almost imperceptibly, biting down on her lip to quell a shouting match that could happen if she railed on him any more. She did, however, afford him a sideway glance with the quirk of her eyebrow. “Oh, I’d knock you out first to get you to your senses, and then I’d drag you out. No chance in hell.” Her lips twitched and then a wry smile crawled up the side of her mouth slowly. “Tell Leland just that, if she ever thinks about keeping me away. I know she won’t, but if she does. Tell her I’ll gladly kick your ass from here to high heaven if you step outside the line.” Not that she needed the approval, but she sensed that Eddie’s psychiatrist thought of her as a positive influence, and that meant the world to Stephanie.
She gladly leaned into the touch on her cheek, hungry for every second of intimate affection she could get from him before he was snatched away again. And she eagerly returned his kiss, savoring the taste of pumpkin and Eddie on his lips in a way that had her licking her lips. “I missed the way you taste,” she muttered, eyes closed for a moment before they snapped open again to lock with his dark browns. “I promise, baby. And, you have to tell me if I’m doing something wrong, or something to get you on edge, okay? Can’t promise I can fix it right away, but I swear I’ll try.” She smiled softly at him, then rolled her eyes at his demand. The blonde bat twisted away to dig into her bag, and pulled out each item one-by-one to lay it out on the table.
First, the picture from Frankie, Jr. “He misses you a lot,” Steph said, rubbing her fingers against the bright colors of the dino-dragon Eddie’s pseudo nephew had drawn. “He asks about you every time I’m over there. I think he’s gotten over my pretty looks and realized I probably have cooties.” Which wasn’t completely honest. Frankie adored Stephanie as well, and while he tried to put a tough guy act on around her at times, they were always suckers for each other. Stephanie could never be angry when Frankie was around, and Frankie couldn’t help but wonder about the pretty blonde his Uncle Ed brought into their lives. As Eddie busied himself with that, she pulled the rest out -- the picture of Matilda, which she just placed with a grin on the table. Then, all in one jumbled pile, the picture of them with the note and the dog tag.
“I have the cut-out here,” she said, focusing on pulling out her half of the necklace. The pendant hung on the same chain as the computer chip that she hadn’t taken off in almost a year since he’d given it to her. She held out the chain with her thumb so that the pendants dangled in front of her, and she flashed him a shy smile and blue eyes. “You don’t have to wear it if you don’t like it, but I thought it would be perfect. You can just hide it away in one of your work stations?” Steph looked apprehensive, like suddenly she’d brought all the wrong stuff for him, and she found herself pushing the picture-note-metal pile away from her and towards him.
Eddie beamed at the bright dino-dragon drawing and gently held it between his hands like a rare piece of art. The affection that he had for the family leaking through his expression and he visibly tried not to get choked up about it. Frankie was a tough kid. His dad wasn’t always trying to keep on the straight and narrow and he knew better than anyone what it was like having a parent behind bars in those early years. Kids like Frankie didn’t automatically judge adults like Eddie, even if the rumor was that the riddled man was actually crazy. “Maria and the baby doing good? Tell her I’m going to be out for the Christening so help me.” Eddie said after a second, looking up to Stephanie with a wide, tender gaze. “Frank should be set on money. Tell him if he’s serious,” Eddie paused and looked back down at the picture. “If he’s serious about that stupid deli he’s always talking about, I’ll invest the second I get out. That’ll be the first thing I do.”
He inhaled deeply, looking over the picture of Matilda with a smile before rummaging through the note, bringing the paper up to his nose so he could smell her perfume with a sort of wiggle of his eyebrows at her and then finally examining the picture of them post-Bludhaven. “This is us.” Eddie said with quiet fondness. Any other time, he would have felt overwhelmed by all these reminders of things that mattered to him. But, his mind was calm enough to see it all for what it was: a stack of reasons for getting better. He turned the picture over so she could see it. “This is us.” He said again with inflection and knew that she’d understand. Them relaxing in Hawaii wasn’t a good representation of who they were. But, smiling at a park after a long, terrible ordeal with looks in their eyes like they just knew something better was on the horizon. That? That was them.
Finally, it came down to the dogtag and when she pulled out the chain with the little piece attached next to the computer chip, he smiled and immediately showed her the ring that he never left the house without. Almost as if they enjoyed proving to each other that they never, ever would leave their decoder rings behind. “No, I like it.” He reassured her with smile, liking that shyness that was very hard to pull out of the blonde bat. “It’s a smart reminder.” He picked up the dogtag, leaned in close enough to gently take the heart pendant around her neck and carefully line the two up. A moment passed and then he smiled to himself, taking the dogtag back and bowing his head down to look at in the palm of his hand. The therapy, the drugs, the asylum. They calmed his nerves, but they didn’t take away that sweet feeling he got from putting puzzle pieces together. And, maybe that was a good thing.
He slipped the dogtag around his neck, hid it under his shirt and the patted the spot where it was. “I love you. I love all this.” Eddie told her, reaching over to hold and kiss her for a string of moments before leaning back and pulling out the two gifts he brought her. “I made them.” Eddie snorted a noise of disgust at himself. “That sounds terrible. You don’t want something someone made for you.” Eddie pulled the presents back. “I had Tom wrap them. I should have just had him buy you something nice in Vegas. I’m a failure.” He shook his head, protectively holding the two gifts in his arms like they were abominations.
“Tell you what. If you hate them, I’ll buy you something really nice here. I’ll probably do that anyway, but I’ll put in a big effort.” Eddie cautiously handed her the gifts and raised his eyebrows. One of them was a hand knitted pair of jade fingerless gloves with intricate detail. Eddie had to guess what her hand size was, but of course didn’t really have any problem with that. The second gift was a small, vintage electronic baseball game that was so functional it seemed brand new. “Leland thinks that rebuilding weird old electronics helps me keep me grounded. Focused on the real world. She brings me broken stuff she finds at thrift stores, I ask her to order new parts and then I reassemble it. This guy right here didn’t work at all. I had to change out most of the internal stuff, but he’s good as new. And, now you can actually learn about baseball so when I take you to a game you won’t fall asleep before the seventh inning stretch.” He smirked at her. “Since it’s the first thing I repaired in therapy, I really wanted you to have it. I was thinking about you the whole time I was fixing it.”
She knew that the drawing and the picture of Matilda would be a hit, and she beamed back when he flashed that look of affection for Frank and his family. They’d become a bit of her own surrogate family these past few months, especially in the past weeks while Eddie was locked away. Maria, the doting Italian mama. Frank, the gruff Italian dad with the soft inside. And, Frankie, Jr., the sweet young boy. “Maria is good. She’s getting bigger by the day. Four months,” Stephanie said with a smile. The last time she had watched Frankie for them had been for one of her prenatal appointments, and both came back beaming and with sonogram pictures in hand. It was always astounding to Stephanie how there could be so much happiness and right in a place like Gotham. They found it in a new baby and their family, and she found it in Eddie. “She knows. Who am I gonna get as my date anyway?” she teased lightly before nodding. “I’ll tell him that. He misses you, too, y’know. He’s been trying really hard lately, and everyone notices. I think he’s taking Frankie to a game next week, actually. Maria seems really happy, too.”
She fell quiet again and watched his reactions with apprehensive blue eyes and a bite to her lip. She was always prideful and stubborn, but this was one of those moments with Eddie that she felt doubt. All she wanted was for him to have even a small modicum of happiness while still recovering from everything that had happened. And, she wanted to be the person who gave him that. So, she nodded when he insisted that the picture encompassed them, which it did, and she rolled her eyes when he waggled his eyebrows at her, and she smiled softly when he leaned his pulled his ring out. “I thought so,” she bragged quietly when he commended her choice, even with that shake of uncertainty still in her voice, but she smiled again when he leaned forward to match up their pieces. She wasn’t one who needed validation in every moment of her life, but there were certain times where it was good that she got it. Like that moment when Eddie slipped the chain around his neck. Stephanie kissed him back with equal tenderness, whispered declarations of love and longing lost in the embrace.
“Don’t be an idiot,” she said softly, knowing it would irritate him that she said that, but thinking full well that he was being an idiot as she unwrapped each present separately. The gloves had her brighten, running her fingers across them to feel the fuzzy wool and knobs and grooves of the knitting pattern. She waved him off as he prattled on, shoving her hands into the gloves to try them on. She wiggled her uncovered fingers in his face then brought the gloves to her face to test its softness before ripping into the next present (gloves still on). And when the vintage little game fell out, she grinned so widely her cheeks almost hurt. “It’s perfect,” she said softly as she turned the little thing around in her hand, pressing buttons and familiarizing herself with it. “How am I gonna get work done in class now? This is worse than Candy Crush.” She looked up at Eddie finally, and the look in her eyes said that he was being an idiot with all his worrying. “Shut up, it’s perfect. I love it,” she gushed earnestly. No one else ever really made things for her aside from Eddie, and she always treasured every single thing he gave her.
Leaning forward, she peppered his face with kisses, mapping out a nonsensical route around his face before taking his lips for hers in a long, drawn out, exploring embrace. She slipped those gloved hands up his chest, around his neck, and then tangled them in the hair at the nape of his neck. Curving her body forward to meet his. And then, after a few moments and all at once, she stopped, sat up straight, and took another sip of her pumpkin juice. “Mmm. This is better than I imagined it. We’ve got to get our hands on some sweet stuff, too.” She glanced at him through the corner of her eye, smile drawing up her face and glass still in hand. “I love you with all my heart, Edward Nashton.”
Eddie’s eyes flashed when she called him an idiot. He had a couple anger triggers that were buried deep, deeeeeep under his skin that could emerge like Godzilla breathing red, radioactive fire. It wasn’t her fault that his dad beat him senseless yelling that very word over and over until Eddie wasn’t sure if he was capable of being anything else. It wasn’t her fault that his biggest fear was being outsmarted because it meant his old man was right. If they were back in Gotham before Arkham sitting on his couch and playing games, one misplaced idiot would have set him off in a way she couldn’t control.
Things were a little different now. His anger didn’t automatically jump up his throat, which gave him time to work it out. He knew she didn’t mean it like that and he wasn’t allowed to corner off words to keep himself from acting like a child. So, while it still stung, he brushed it off the best he could without comment. Eddie smiled at her and momentarily turned to focus on his pumpkin juice, eyes on her eager fingers as they ripped open the second gift. The immediate brightness that the electronic game brought to her cheeks made him grin back at her. “You really like it?” He asked gently, closing his eyes as he leaned forward to be pet by her wandering hands. A soft noise rumbled from the back of his throat as he felt her fingers tangle with his hair and his ears turned a warm pink. It took a little longer for him to snap out of the doped, punch-drunk feeling she gave him. Eyes rebooting with that dark intelligence as he gave her a goofy smile. “I love you with every ounce of heart guts I have, Stephanie Brown.” He murmured back, reaching to squeeze her fingers.
“Alright, let’s get out of here.” He reached forward to kiss her face, pushed the chair back and then (hand on hip) gulped down the rest of his pumpkin juice with a satisfied ahh. “Now, Stephanie, if you’re going to roll with me today, I need you to play it cool. Can you fake an accent?” He whispered and then eyed her suspiciously. “No. Forgot I asked, you’re just going to embarrass me. There’s witches and wizards in America right? Salem? We’re from Salem.” He started packing up his things and then held his hand out for her once she gathered all her things. Eddie was grateful that while Stephanie was a complete klutz and an utter dork in the face of Harry Potter, she was still streetwise enough to make a slip through the magic wall into Diagon Alley without raising too many eyebrows. “Where do you want to go first? Everything looks like it’s getting rebuilt out there. Also, I’m not buying you an owl. I trust you with my dog, but not a wild animal in a cage.”
He dragged her closer to the secret passage, then leaned on a nearby wall and put his hands on her hips. “Actually, I have a whole list of things I’m not buying you.” Eddie informed her, dark eyes on hers for a couple moments before they inched past her face at an approaching wizard. The green man looked back at Stephanie, smiled and then yanked her through the wall after the wizard opened the passage into the bustling Alley.
Stephanie did an amazing sort of thing where she managed to roll her eyes and beam at him lovingly at the same time. A default sort of expression that she could shoot Eddie so very often. “You’re a downright poet, Nashton. A Browning or a Shakespeare,” she teased as he squeezed her fingers, even when she squeezed them back. As he stood up, Steph began to chug her pumpkin juice down, and only left a little bit in the cup before she scrambled to shove everything in her bag, too. Gloves and game tucked away safely. Rolling her eyes again, she whispered sharply, “You didn’t even give me a chance to try.” Even if he was completely right. There was a reason that Steph never did drama club or anything in school. Besides, of course, the fact that her entire life was a staged melodrama in itself.
As he inched them closer to the entrance, near that same dustbin in the books, she hummed a little consideration to his question. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of an owl. And they aren’t wild, Eddie, they’re tamed and trained to deliver mail. Imagine getting letters from me by owl!” Her voice dropped down to a whisper as a wizard in bright robes approached to make his way into Diagon Alley. She smiled at him briefly before turning her attention to Eddie as if they were out there in the back up to no good. (Well, they were, sort of, but not the kind of no good that had the other man averting his gaze.) He tapped the same brick (!) that they had to in the books, and stepped through, with Eddie dragging Stephanie in after.