francisco javier es una (pesadilla) wrote in doorslogs, @ 2013-03-21 13:35:00 |
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“I don’t know why you have to try and ruin the experience every time I have a proper Bloody Mary,” Aubrey said with a sideways glance at Lin as they both made their way out of the diner and onto Tropicana Avenue. “I mean, you have one bad experience with Clamato juice and suddenly you’re obsessed with ruining it for everyone else. How was I supposed to know that’s not how everyone drinks it, huh? Americans are weird.” He shook his head and let out an exaggerated sigh as they both turned west, away from Aubrey’s car and heading in the direction of Charlie Frias Park. They hadn’t exactly talked about this when they had decided to get breakfast; going for a walk through the park had long ago become something of an unspoken habit of theirs after meals at the diner, and it seemed as good an excuse as any to keep talking. Aubrey knew they had a tentative sort of peace stretched out between them, and he wasn’t exactly in a hurry to fuck it up. And so they headed into the park with the crisp, cool air and the understated greenery around them, and for one awful moment Aubrey found himself aching to slip into old habits. His right hand twitched as if he was about to reach out and grasp Lin’s hand in his own, threading their fingers together and rubbing over the backs of dark, familiar knuckles with the pad of his thumb. It was hardly more than a flicker, a half-second of outstretched fingers - but it was enough. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans, but it was still enough. Lin's hands were raised along with his shoulders in an emphatic, cartoonish shrug as his ratty sneakers hit the gummed-up pavement of the sidewalk. It was nice outside, sunny, brisk, and bracing. There was a bit of wind gusting trash, cigarettes and food wrappers, around their feet as they walked, but the worn, green army jacket Lin spent most of his winters in kept him warm enough, unzipped as it was. His eyebrows were peaked in an apologetic arc and he shook his head as he followed along beside Aubrey. "A 'proper Bloody Mary' is the one that fucking crawls out of the mirror, her stringy hair over her face, and fucks you the fuck up." The boy spoke loudly, miming stabbing someone quite vigorously with a crazed expression on his face. A few tourists (obvious with their iPhones pointing at every-fucking-thing) turned to look at the pair as they passed. In the Midwest, that was not how people acted in public. Yeah, well, fuck them and their ears of corn. Lin glanced over his shoulder at a pasty, puffy middle-aged white man wearing his shirt tucked into his fucking khakis. He stuck his tongue out at the jackass. Ah, Earth. He never thought he would, but he really had missed home - the smog, the tourists, the prostitutes. With a smile, Lin's attention shifted back to Aubrey as they neared the park. "Anyway, you can't blame me for the waiter getting upset. I was stating a fact. 'Clamato' does sound like 'chlamydia'; it's not my fault he wants to live in his little fantasy world of denial, a'ight?" Another exaggerated shrug. "I probably didn't need to add the comment about it also likely tasting like chlamydia though, huh?" Lin grinned mischievously up at his ex-boyfriend - when he saw something move out of the corner of his eye. He didn't have to see the whole action to know what had just happened. Aubrey's hand had moved toward his. Uh. In a matter of seconds, the fancy ass, bullshit phone Daniel had given him was out of his back pocket and he was blinking at its screen, not bothering to watch where he was going. Damn, it was so nice to have the thing work. Now he could pick up where he'd left off on Angry Birds. Okay, so that was borderline humiliating. By some small miracle, Aubrey wasn’t a blusher - instead he just had to endure a horrible prickling sensation on the back of his neck that he couldn’t help but associate with shame, while he silently cursed himself and contemplated finding the nearest hole to crawl into. It had felt like the most natural of impulses, to reach for Lin’s hand and to silently anticipate just how they would fit together. And that was the worst part: that something so small could feel significant. God, he felt like an asshole. Probably because he was an asshole. It didn’t help that Lin wasn’t remotely convincing in his role as the oblivious bystander. The speed with which he had whipped out his phone was telling, and so was the exaggerated furrow in his brow when he feigned intense concentration. Fortunately, it wasn’t Aubrey’s first rodeo. What mattered was that the younger man had given him an out. He took it, and tried not to look too relieved. “You might be onto something there, you know. He started to look especially green when you compared the taste of chlamydia to various types of seafood. I mean, talk about a weak stomach.” He waited a beat, then risked a glance in Lin’s direction with a quirked eyebrow and a crooked smile - just as his gaze landed on the unfamiliar device clutched in the man’s grasp. “When did you upgrade the phone? Or is that something you stole off your spaceship?” One of the red birds with the anger management issues smashed into the pigs’ poorly built fortress of precariously balanced glass, wood, and concrete blocks (though they had no arms. Could they be blamed?), and managed to kill two of the ugly bastards, along with himself, but that was life, wasn’t it? Lin laughed triumphantly to himself, no longer faking the engrossment with the silly piece of technology. The hand faux pas had been erased from his mind and he’d hardly heard anything that was just said. His head snapped up from the screen only when his brief victory celebration was cut short by Aubrey rudely reminding him of his existence with a pointed question. Well. Shit. Steering himself around a city trash can, he met the man’s uncertain gaze and smiled easily, lifting the phone up as he did so. “This?” Lin’s eyes flicked back to the thing held so tightly in his palm. He cocked his head to the side, peering intently at it as if seeing it for the first time. BlackBerry. lolol. No time was taken to consider the ramifications of what saying one thing versus another might be. No consequences were weighed. The words came out on their own, smooth, pleasant and surprised. “Came in my Happy Meal.” Lin bit his bottom lip and shrugged again, as it was his default gesture when he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t expect to be believed, uh, obviously. His tone was facetious, but stalling was stalling. The phone was returned to the safety of his back pocket. Angry Birds would have to wait. The boy sniffed, wiping at his nose with the sleeve of his jacket curled around his knuckles. “Why? You jealous of how swanky I obvi am?” Lin wiggled his eyebrows at Aubrey. Then he became very serious and placed a consoling hand on the man’s arm, before looping his own elbow around Aubrey’s and walking close to him in a way that was probably too familiar, but fuck it. “Don’t worry. Ik I am very important with my stylish and luxurious phone, but I can still make time for you.” “Right, of course. The ever-generous Happy Meal. You know that’s actually how I got my flatscreen. It was a couple years old and covered in grease, but I wouldn’t be able to watch Duck Dynasty without it.” Aubrey’s tone was light-hearted and his eyes shone with amusement, but he wasn’t buying Lin’s oh-so-unconvincing nonchalance. Not for a minute. You didn’t spend four years with someone without learning all about their tells that popped up whenever they were lying, or being evasive. And yes, of course - Lin didn’t expect him to buy any of it. But much in the same way that he had given Aubrey an out about the awkward almost-hand-hold business, so too could Aubrey let Lin brush him off about the phone. For now. “Obviously,” he groaned with a dramatic eye-roll, grasping at his chest with one hand as if he could hardly stand his own distinct lack of swag. “I’m feeling very insecure in regards to your superior technology. I mean, I’m still texting via tin can and string.” He was a little surprised when the boy took hold of his arm so that they were linked, elbow to elbow, as they walked through the park. Then again, he was used to being surprised by Lin’s inexplicable actions and ubiquitous sarcasm. He could handle a little surprise now and then - it was when the younger man whipped out the sincerity that it was time to freak out. “Well, since you have awarded me a chunk of your precious schedule - give me the SparkNotes vis-à-vis your hijinx in space. Did you have that artificial gravity bullshit, or did you get to drink globs of Tang out of midair with a straw?” Lin laughed at the Duck Dynasty comment and smiled with unabashed glee at Aubrey, appearing very much as he had all those years ago when he and Aubrey had been at their happiest together, constantly joking and jibing. He cocked his head as if curious. One eyebrow quirked with full on sass. “And here I thought you were more of a ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ man.” You didn’t spend four years with someone without learning all about their tells that popped up when they were lying, or being evasive, no, but nor did you four years with someone without realizing that that was the case, you knew theirs and they yours. Lin was more than aware that he was caught, but he chose not to dwell on that fact, nor the inevitable moment he was called out on it. No, instead, he leaned into Aubrey, hardly hearing the quip about tin cans and texting. He sucked thoughtfully on his bottom lip and watched the black patches of old gum pass under their feet as they moved through the park. When he did remember to hold up his end of the conversation, he smiled foggily, a little confused, before he caught on again. A shrug. There was a change in his body language. It was like he snapped back to attention. The boy released his hold on the man and skipped ahead a bit to walk in front of Aubrey, but, you know, backwards, so he could still face him. Lin shot one quick look over his shoulder to make sure there weren’t any ducks or babies in strollers in his way, then he turned back to his ex-boyfriend when he was in the clear. “It was fucking rad, man.” He jogged backwards with his usual grin that insisted there was some secret only he was in on. “No Tang, but I did get to paint Winnie’s nails, which is one giant leap for mankind, too, trust me. The people were pretty cool and I got to fucking fly a fucking spaceship in motherfucking outer space.” He threw his hands out in excitement, but quickly withdrew them when he almost elbowed a woman and her elderly ...mother or friend or something in the face. “Whoops. Sorry -” He made an ‘oops’ face at Aubrey then slowed to rejoin him at his side. “Anyway, what about you?” Aubrey tilted his head at a supposedly-thoughtful angle and frowned slightly, appearing for all intents and purposes to consider Lin’s statement with every ounce of sincerity available to him. “I think that Honey Boo Boo holds great cultural merit and should be placed in a time capsule via carbon freezing... you know, for science. And someone needs to start drilling for oil in that mother’s neck makeup. But I’ve always wanted to learn duck calls. Hell, you know that.” He inclined his head in Lin’s direction and raised his eyebrows in a conspiratorial manner, surely just seconds away from wiggling them suggestively. Fortunately for all parties, Lin’s abrupt change in orientation (hahaha) provided enough of a distraction that Aubrey found himself forced to become air traffic control, hastily guiding the younger man around wayward chihuahuas and drinking fountains alike. “So there were just, like, no qualms about letting you pilot several tons of lethal metal through space?” Aubrey couldn’t help but chime in, brow furrowed as he occasionally reached out to guide Lin around obstacles. “I mean, did they at least make you take some kind of test first? Get your temporary space pilot’s license? Or was it just totally guaranteed that your pilot dude was giving you all the info firsthand?” As was the norm with most Lin-related excursions, Aubrey had a very apologetic expression prepared for such circumstances as his ex-boyfriend nearly mowing down two elderly women. Of course, it was none too soon when Lin rejoined him in their forward exploration of the park. And then Lin asked about his adventures, and he was quiet for a while as he contemplated the last couple of weeks that he had spent through that ridiculous Fairy door. “Well, you the know the basics. I was a prince, I refused to wear tights, lots of wine. Nothing particularly exciting - although at one point, I thought I might have to rescue a friend from some evil fairy-land curse,” he paused, tilting his face to the midday sky and considering his words. “I did get to go through another friend’s door into Asgard, which was pretty fucking cool. Hands down the best alternate realm I’ve ever visited, no question.” Aubrey couldn’t but split into a grin at that point, gently nudging Lin with his elbow and changing course so that they were headed towards the vacant swing set. The sun warmed the top of his head and he knew that he was not going to waste such a beautiful morning. Of course Lin knew about the duck calls. He nodded solemnly, face nothing more than a statue. But, he had to set the record straight. “It’d have to be cryopreservation, not carbon freezing. And not just because we don’t have a freezing chamber. She’d probably need more than neuropreservation too, because science will not be aided in any way by just that little girl’s brain, let’s be real. And if you’re gonna go hog, why not go whole hog. Who knows maybe one day cryoprotectant properties will be found in clamato juice, which means you’re already halfway there. Get someone to freeze your ass, and you’ll live to see the Honey Boo Boo Second Coming, which I’m pretty sure is in the Bible somewhere after Jesus’ own return to earth. ‘And yea, Honey Boo Boo shall return to the masses and she shall say ridiculous shit, and their hearts will lift with joy.’ Something like that.” Lin prattled on like the happy little chipmunk he was, until the conversation moved to flying in space (he just knew how to do it) and then from space to wine and castles (fancy as fuck!), and then from there to Asgard (wtf?). He strolled alongside Aubrey with his hands in his pockets, looking up from the ground at the prod in the ribs. Swings. He smiled and jogged over to the swingset. It was one of those old metal ones, with paint of an unidentifiable color, that was probably lead-based, that flaked off of it, and chains clutching the smooth black tongues of swings that had probably seen more ass than Lin himself. The boy slid onto his own yoke easily enough, kicking at the woodchips to gain momentum. “That’s hella rad,” said the boy of his ex-boyfriend’s journeys in a grunt as he leaned back in the swing to better cut through the warm mid-morning air. He glanced over to Aubrey. “But not as rad as flying a spaceship, sucka.” He wasn’t sorry. It was true. As could be expected on such a beautiful morning, the park was playing host to more than just a couple of old ladies - and Lin was good for nothing if not drawing attention to himself. Aubrey hardly noticed it at this point; there would need to be a crowd of fifty-plus spectators before he could really bring himself to care about anyone ‘accidentally’ overhearing the nature of their conversations, or to see (and interpret, and question) the way that they might look at one another in those very rare, stolen seconds. And it was more than just the general desensitization to Lin’s flair and spectacle. No, it was a sort of second nature, to see his world narrowed, as it always did - right down to the space immediately occupied by the young man with the brown eyes and olive skin. As much as it made Aubrey feel like some lovesick teenage girl, he just - he couldn’t help himself. Sometimes. Most of the time. And so, for an endless moment Aubrey simply watched as Lin hoisted himself onto the swing and began to pump his legs, arcing higher into the sky with each moment that slipped by. He simply listened with a bemused expression as Lin spouted off all the ways in which his suggestion for the preservation of Honey Boo Boo was utterly unreasonable and just not conducive with today’s science. As usual, the best part was the younger man’s very earnest way of pontificating about the hypothetical pseudo-scientific circumstance. “I don’t know about that,” he finally countered with a sly twist to his mouth, moving behind Lin’s swing and giving him a firm push against the small of his back so that he swung even higher on the next arc. Higher, faster, higher. Aubrey raised his voice just enough so that he could be heard over the whistle of wind rushing past Lin’s ears. “Space is obviously awesome, but it’s basically an inevitability. Whether it’s ten years or ten thousand, commercial and civilian space travel aren’t even remotely a question. Right?” Aubrey laughed to himself, soft and delighted as he recalled the rush of hurtling through hundreds of miles of atmosphere - in the arms of a god, for crying out loud. Demi-god. Whatever. “I’m telling you, Lin - “ he broke off for a moment and nearly fumbled his next push, correcting his movement at the last moment so that his hands met the slight curve of the man’s waist. “I flew around another realm. With a superhero who controls the fucking weather. No spaceship... shit, not even a space suit.” And without warning, Aubrey grabbed hold of the swing’s chains on either side of the man’s hips. He held man and swing there as he laughed, breathless. He learned in and felt the tip of his nose just barely graze the back of Lin’s neck - and released him again without ceremony, sending him through beams of early-spring sunshine. “Whatever. I know better than to expect you to take my word for it.” Lin let the fresh air stream past his face, let it brush the hair out of his eyes as he opened them wide to watch the world, green with a new spring, tilt beneath him like one big giant top he was the axis of. The pseudo-gyroscopic effect had everything blurring out of the corners of his eyes, just smears of colors flashing by. He was a very practiced swinger (lol), and by the time Aubrey was behind him, hands on the small of the boy’s back, Lin had already managed to gain a good amount of momentum. Outside of pogo sticks or rock climbing, very little by way of physical activity that one engaged in in the outdoors (oh, and excluding sex in the park or woods) held any interest for the boy. But, swinging - swinging he could do forever. He pumped his legs and attempted to listen to his ex-boyfriend at the same time. He leaned back in the swing, so he could look at the man upside down. He grinned, only mildly alarmed at the speed at which he approached the solid block of Aubrey’s body. He sat up, shooting a glance over his shoulder. “Bullshit.” It was unclear what exactly was bullshit, but whatever. Lin didn’t care. He didn’t exist to make sense to people. The boy almost started laughing then, pleased as he was with himself (as always), but the sounds caught in his throat at the abrupt halt put to his swinging. He almost toppled over and out of the swing, and the inertia bent him forward like a tree in the wind. Both hands clung to the chains and he pressed back hard, leaning into Aubrey in that half-second, but then he was in the air again. Lin continued to swing, to be pushed, for another few quiet moments. Then he seemed to decide something. He set his shoulders. Without warning, he kicked, slamming a foot down into the wood chips to slow himself just enough. And, once he figured he wasn’t going to fly off the swing and break the sound barrier, Lin jumped - arcing across the little spread of cedar, if not gracefully, then laughing like an idiot. He landed on his feet and stumbled forward a good five or six steps, almost making it, until he fell onto his knees in the grass. His breathing was coming a little hard as kicking your legs like that took srs energy and when he smiled at Aubrey, his lips were parted, baring teeth, enough to let himself breathe. “I swear, Honey Boo Boo’s life just flashed in front of my eyes,” he said between pants with a grimace. He climbed to his feet and checked his pockets to make sure nothing had been tossed or broken during the freefall. “It wasn’t pretty.” God, but the world seemed to make so much more sense when Lin couldn’t shut the fuck up. The morning had certainly been a pleasant change from their last real face-to-face encounter, which had seen Lin fleeing from Aubrey’s office. That night had been... frustrating, to put it politely, and each of their subsequent conversations were reduced to little more than Aubrey trying to smooth things over and failing spectacularly. The absurdity of getting thrown through their respective doors had proven to be just what the doctor ordered, and Aubrey was grateful for it. This morning Lin had chattered his way through the meal, and Aubrey had been content to smile and nod; he even managed to get a dozen words in edgewise. It was inevitably more troublesome when the chatter stopped. As long as Lin was talking-talking-talking, Aubrey could handle the ease with which his hands lingered against the small of Lin’s back and warmed from the contact. He could handle the way he couldn’t help but admire the smooth, dark skin at the nape of Lin’s neck. But when the noise faded away into the sounds of spring, of birdsong and children laughing and dogs barking in the off-leash fields... without the noise to provide the crucial aspect of distraction... Well, suffice to say that Aubrey had to make a concerted effort to focus. “What’s bullshit?” He called out when the boy’s declaration finally registered. Of course, it was a useless question, as the next moment saw Lin flying through the air, up, up, up - until he was tumbling down to the soft green carpet of grass beneath their feet, lips parted when he gasped for breath. There was something about the slanted sunbeams that lit up the man’s dark hair, something about his flushed lips that made it impossible not to smile. A beat later and he was applauding the boy’s haphazard dismount, pursing his lips and letting out a whistle worthy of a game-winning goal. “I give it an eight-point-nine out of ten,” he called out, laughing quietly as he held up his hands as if displaying an invisible scorecard over his head. “A little sloppy on the landing. Next time maybe try to point your toes.” Aubrey took advantage of Lin’s preoccupation and stole the abandoned swing, scuffing the soles of his shoes against the cedar chips so that he swung in place just a little. His smile was a crooked, cheeky thing. “Oh, or sleeping with the judges. Always helps.” “Eight-point-nine? Downright motherfuckin’ rude,” was the gruff, breathless response Aubrey’s score received as Lin flopped forward into the green grass. He stretched his arms over his head, then pulled them under his chin and laid there, kicking his feet. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the buzz of spring or whatever the fuck, only moving to finally look over his shoulder at his ex-boyfriend, when the man claimed the lost swing as his own. Lin bit his lip and plucked a stalk of waxy grass to peel apart like the destructive three-year-old he truly was. “Does it now?” He grinned up at the other man, his eyes suddenly half-lidded in the bright sun, cat-like and sharp. There was a suggestive tilt to his words. Still, Lin rolled onto his back and crossed his legs at the ankle quick enough, brushing everything away in favor of a little blue sky. He tipped his chin up and just kind of looked at the white puffs of cloud for a while. He sighed happily and took out the phone again. He putzed with it for a minute or two. “I never thought I’d be fucking happy to be back on Earth. ...Then again, I never thought I'd leave.” “I mean, I guess you could always go all Tonya Harding and smash the other kids’ knees with a hammer or something. I don’t really know how ambitious you are when it comes to swing-jumping prowess, so I can’t properly recommend a course of action.” Aubrey shrugged his shoulders to the sky and leaned back in the cradle of the swing, kicking his legs just enough to send him swinging, just enough to pull the wind through his tousled curls. There was a spring breeze that picked up and warmed his skin, and he shut his eyes for a moment. I never thought I’d be fucking happy to be back on Earth. And Aubrey considered that for a good long while. There had certainly been a level of irritation that came with being designated the ruling monarch of a kingdom - and this wasn’t remotely like Robb playing at King of the North with all the super-serious feudal bullshit. No, instead this was some fairy-level bullshit where evil queens and dragons were an actual fucking concern. Aubrey frowned slightly and looked down at his hands; he knew that he was more or less lucky to have made it out of psycho-magic-land with his head. “Yeah, me too,” he nodded, taking hold of the chains that held up the swing and leaning back just enough so that he could tilt his face to the sky. The sun warmed his face, and Aubrey knew that he was glad to have returned to Las Vegas in one piece. Lin yawned from his little bed in the grass. He didn’t know any of the serious thoughts that were running rampant in Aubrey’s head, anything about dragons or whatever. He didn’t know much of anything. He was just a kid lying in the grass in the park, glad to be back on his own fucking planet, glad to see green, and to see people who didn’t solve every issue by shooting each other (well, most people), and to eat food that wasn’t as dense and tasteless as fucking Mercury. And, of course, to see people he cared about. None of that, however, stopped him from twisting on the carpet of green to squint at Aubrey as the man played on the swingset. His eyes narrowed. “It’s ‘me either,’ dumbass.” Honestly, sometimes he just didn’t know about people. Lin scoffed and laid back down. But, at least everything was back to normal. |