Who: Batgirl and Riddler Where: Rooftop When: After Nightwing gets Lazarus Pitted What: Making up kind of? But also breaking up. These kids cray Warning: cuteness and also sadness
Eddie felt like he was running for a long time. Through Wonder City, past the old broken homes, the rushing drain water below and deactivated Riddler traps. It felt good and he thought maybe he could keep running until his little green heart beat out of his chest. But, then he reached the broken down subway station, the steps he remembered his mother pulling him off of and he stopped to rest there for a second. That was kind of fun. He thought to himself, glad that no one was around to see the look of playground joy across his face. The Riddler needed Gotham thrills as much as the next psychopath and though he had been good at keeping himself busy lately, he really did miss this. A wrong kind of rush that involved pissing off the bat brood. It was addicting enough to scare him a little.
He breathed heavily, looking down at his watch to see that he still had time to go spy on Stephanie. There was a good chance that she wasn’t even going to show with the news of Grayson’s death, but it would be a bad boyfriend move to skip out on it for the sake of tacos. Stephanie might have been beyond angry at him now, but he knew she liked when he kept pawing at her until she gave him attention. Which was good, because annoying someone into loving him was really the only way the Riddler could manage it. He looked down at his hands, realizing that he was subconsciously turning her ring over in his fingers while he sat there and smiled something softer that didn’t have anything to do with question marks.
A little while later he found himself on top of a roof dressed in a dark dark green, pinstriped suit and a large black jacket that made the ensemble look very gangster. He pressed himself against the edgewall, peeking up briefly enough to look through his high-tech, night vision binoculars before huddling back down and making notes. Stephanie was smart enough not to get gassed, but Riddler had to have some plans in place if something did happen. He got lost in configuring something on his cane and popped up to look for his blonde bat again.
News of Dick's death hit Stephanie hard, harder than she'd imagined it would have. She had just finished her conversation with Eddie, something that turned flirty to angry to flirty right back to angry just like a pinball machine, when Bruce came over the comms. Shock took her over, shaking her body to the core and making her knees wobble until she collapsed to the floor with a choked out sob. All the loss and death hadn't been real until that moment with their lost older bird. Without Dick, the family was officially doomed. In that messy apartment (still torn apart after her pit freak out), she sat for a long time, half-dressed bat sobbing over the loss of the oldest brother of the family.
But, she had a meeting to go to, and that meeting was the perfect distraction from the fury and pain coursing through her veins. Now, she wasn't actually planning on speaking with Jonathan Crane. That bastard still made her stomach turn in a way most Gotham villains weren't privy to here, and she didn't trust him as far as she could throw him. No, she was sure that he would have a needle or a gas canister hidden somewhere on his scrawny person, or he'd psych her out with his crazy mumbojumbo. Something for the Crow to keep the batling in line. Was she worried that her not-boyfriend's "best friend" would do something to hurt her? Sure. Was she going to do something about it? Not yet, but she would investigate.
The blonde bat used the prep time to center herself. She couldn't be sloppy, sad and off her game when spying on someone like Crane, and Dick could be mourned in the morning when she allowed it. When she could have a real quiet moment. With her own binoculars and other pieces of gear and ready to snoop, she landed on a nearby roof fifteen minutes earlier than the designated time she gave Crane. Straightening herself up, she stretched and cracked her neck, acutely aware of the ache in her bones and joints. She wasn't fully better, not by a long shot, but healing was obvious. The bubbling anger from the pit remained though and it sparked when she spotted a familiar frame peeking over the edge of the rooftop. In a few swift steps, she was near him, and she crouched down. "What are you doing here?" she snapped at the Riddler, even if she didn't need an answer.
Now, that was a surprise. Riddler turned, registering only a voice before realizing who it was, and immediately took his beautiful little revolver out of his coat and pointed it at her. His eyes went wide only when he realized who had snuck up on him and he breathed a soft, rattling whine before slowly putting the gun away. “Jesus, Stephanie.” He said quietly, eyeing her like he was sick and tired of seeing Batgirl. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he had equal time with her out of the suit, but suddenly their dinner with Frank’s family felt so distant. Riddler just sat there for a moment, nervously out of breath and clearly a little afraid of something chasing him, though what that was couldn’t be pulled out of him yet.
He had misbehaved quite a bit tonight. Stealing the tumbler being one of his most proud achievements, but dunking Grayson was probably what would get him in a world of trouble with her family. Sure, he’d rat out Catwoman once they pressed him enough, but that didn’t change the fact that he simply could not say no to a little mischief. Which explained why he did most things. “I’m spying on you!” He shouted back after a moment, chest still rising and falling in rapid pace. “What does it look like- I- did you think I’d just stay home for this?” Eddie didn’t realize he was snapping at her until it was too late and he gave out a funny little frustrated grumble like he barely missed beating an arcade high score. He tried to recover, somehow. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He mumbled, closing his eyes and leaning his head against the edgewall to calm himself down
Eyes widened when he took out his gun and pointed it at her chest, and her breath caught in shock. She didn't blame him for pulling the gun on her -- being snuck up on in a place like Gotham never really ended up well -- but that didn't make her feel any less hurt, even if it was just a little irrational. Riddler was used to dangerous situations and having to react to them quickly, after all. But, Stephanie stared with wide eyes that were still bloodshot from crying. Pursing her lips, she watched him as he put the revolver away, not speaking until after he began shouting at her. Then, she blinked a few times and ran her hand over her face.
"Goddamit, what the hell!" She gritted her teeth hard, not fully in the mood to battle it out with Eddie. No, there was a Scarecrow to spy on and a Nightwing to mourn. She pinched the bridge of her nose with great force, so hard her eyes teared up. "I've got it under control. I wasn't even going to meet him! See? I was just going to wait to see if he had anything planned. Recon! There's no way I would go to meet him blind, Christ. I'm not stupid. I'm trying to be smart about it." She almost pushed herself up to stand, but then remembered she needed to stay out of sight. Just in case. "Thanks for not trusting me," she snapped. "Again." She sighed sharply, turned towards the designated roof and popping her head over the top to make sure their straw friend wasn't there yet. She looked down at him through the corner of her eyes, and she didn't admit that she appreciated a little that he came out to make sure she was okay. Just a little though.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Eddie tried, realizing that they were both kind of acting crazy and put his hands in front of him like he wanted to start over. Like somehow they could salvage how badly this had already gone. He caught that look in her eye, how close she was to crying something stirred in his ribcage. His brow knitted in concern, realizing he had gone the whole night feeling nothing but adrenaline until now. It focused him in a way that stealing a dead body or breaking into the batcave couldn’t do. “It has nothing to do with trust. You know that. I can’t stay away.” He grabbed at her cape, tugging her closer as he tried to look over the hurt on her face again. She gave him the coordinates, didn’t she? What did Stephanie expect him to do?
“Look at me.” He whispered after a moment, his eccentricities emptying out in favor of worrying over her. Eddie dreaded, it was written all over his broken face, he dreaded telling her what he did because he knew she wasn’t just upset over him being here. And, for the first time in his life, he was starting to feel like two people. It was terrifying. Was this what being a bat was like? If he could neatly keep Stephanie away from The Riddler he would, but it was all bleeding together in greens and purples. “I shouldn’t have-” Eddie started, but didn’t finish. He should have told the cat to go meow up a different tree. Throwing Grayson in the Pit was the right thing to do in the long run, but it didn’t help his relationship with Stephanie. He should have been careful, selfish and guarded. Even when helping the cat seemed like the logical thing to do.
It was so easy for him to put pieces together, but that big picture got him every time.
As regret started to seep into him for the first time, he dropped her cape and it looked like he had just lost every single train of thought he had ever had. It wasn’t regret for Grayson, it was so much more than that, but all he could feel was a horrifying sharpness in his throat. “I’m trying.” He said suddenly, completely disjointed with his last statement. “I don’t want you to be in pain anymore. I’m trying.” Eddie couldn’t even pretend that he didn’t know why troublemaking was the thing that made him feel good, but he kept clinging to her even if she could make him miserable. He’d keep trying to win her back like a game he couldn’t cheat at and even if by the end of it it he wouldn’t keep drawing question marks across the city.
As she looked down at him, she recalled their last rooftop meeting, only about a week or so before. That night that cracked their relationship into jagged little pieces that Eddie was scrambling to fix, while she just wanted to forget about everything and move on. But, she couldn't. As much as she tried, she couldn't. Stephanie knew it was as simple as not returning his comm pings or cutting him off completely, but it was just harder than that. And, it had to to with love, of course, but also because she was just so wrapped up in everything with him. So, she let herself be tugged closer with a quiet whine, falling to her knees near him as he continued to grip the black cape.
With a shuddering breath, her eyes squeezed shut momentarily as she tried not to mull over every single bad thing that had happened over the past few weeks. All she wanted was to rewind back to a happier time. Christmas. Christmas was happy, wasn't it? Happier than she'd been in month since she'd been arrived in this Gotham. No one was dead, Gotham wasn't ravaged by the plague, and she and Eddie were at their best. Everything was okay back then. Why couldn't things just be okay? Now, who knew what was going to happen. She sure as hell didn't, and she suspected Eddie didn't either.
Eyes still closed, she listened to the beginning of his plea, but as more and more emotion poured into his words, they snapped open again. "Eddie," she said softly, and she couldn't resist it. She reached a gloved hand to brush against his cheek before she snatched it right back to her person. Still, she was closer than even he tugged her, and she didn't move back. Instead, she reached up to tug the mask off and hold it in her hand. "You should have thought about it." Part of her wanted to tell him to keep trying, good job, he deserves to suffer. Another part just wanted to take all the suffering away. Her eyes were still red, bloodshot and glassy, and she swallowed hard. "Nightwing--he's dead."
He swallowed hard and gave a mirthless, dry laugh at her telling him to think about it. “That’s the problem, I think too much.” Eddie smiled at her, but it was a broken version of the arrogant smirk he gave everyone. Like someone had fumbled the curtain at a magic show to reveal the illusionist wasn’t locked in some water box and there was no daring escape. Just a trick of lighting, sleight of hand and open sleeves. Only someone who didn’t care about the bat family could objectively save them when there wasn’t a cure to be found, but that was with complete disregard for their feelings or honor or whatever the Bat held onto and called reason. Stephanie would eventually stop being so angry. Dick Grayson would have a fit and go right back to being a grown up boy wonder. And, Batman would have his little happy family back. Why couldn’t any of them see past the growing pains of it all?
Eddie ventured closer to her, fingers skating up her arms and up to touch her pale cheek, thumb lightly rubbing into the skin. It looked like he only recognized her face and the suit was completely unwanted, even though he knew what was underneath. He closed his eyes, clearing that sinking feeling she was giving him and then finally looked back up at her. “No, he’s not.” And, there was something in his gaze that told her what she already knew. “Selina isn’t dead either.” That news should have been better, just like saving Stephanie’s life should have felt good for the both of them, but he knew he was digging a deeper grave.
The laugh earned him a long, hard look from the blonde bat, eyes narrowed and a bitter taste crawling up her throat. That was a look of a man shattered underneath her fingertips, and it horrified her to see it on Eddie’s face, easily told by the way her eyes glazed over with tears. Eddie, who was a bundle of smarmy eyebrow raises and smirks and challenging words. Her Eddie never looked so worried or guilty or broken, not when she knew him, not even when he dumped the green goop on him. And, maybe a small voice told her good. He deserved to wallow in his choices, and that anger from the little bit of Pit let that thought fester in her mind. Her gaze hardened for a moment, lips turned down in a frown, and she almost turned away to let him sweat his own feelings out.
But, Steph controlled herself -- or couldn’t control herself, depending on how you looked at things. His fingers on her cheek were distracting, distracting enough to have her closing her eyes and leaning into his touch with a quiet, pitiful sigh. She let things settle into place for a moment. It even felt normal, like they weren’t sitting on a roof in the middle of a city falling apart with the weight of the world on their shoulders. She turned, without thinking, to press a kiss to the palm of his hand, desperate for any little touch she might get. “No,” she whined, eyes flying open after he spoke. She knew what he was saying, but that didn’t mean she wanted to believe it. “No, no, no.” Stumbling back, she fell away of his touch into a sitting position, and it felt like someone had given her a swift kick to her chest. “You didn’t,” she said, eyes wide and hand clutched over her mouth. Even if she knew he did. He had to have.
He curled his hand away from her, holding the light kiss to his palm as she stumbled out of his reach. Her surprise didn’t boil up anything in his dark eyes, only a strange, glassy emptiness. How could she be so taken aback? Didn’t Eddie warn her this time? But, his mind didn’t work at the same pace everyone else’s did. He could have dealt with her dead body being thrown in the Lazarus Pit in hours and he’d probably be grateful for it if not a little afraid. This was another reminder that he wasn’t the same as her. Before it felt like they had a middle ground somewhere, but now he could only find differences and mistakes to break the strings that held them together.
“Of course I did.” Eddie said finally, voice sharp and riddled. “Don’t ask me why. It’s what the cat wanted. It’s what’s right for you and your family.” He didn’t bother fighting resentment anymore, eyes rolling up to the sky as he wondered how close he was to an Arkham cell. Batman knew he took the body, Riddler made sure of it. Stephanie was losing faith in him, he could see the pattern of it all over her face and so what would it matter if they dragged him back to his cage? The difference here was that he didn’t want to go back. Arkham used to be the final act of a great caper. A break from the outside world to craft something new. But, oh god he didn’t want to go back there.
Everything felt like a test lately, like the cosmos designed each and everything problem, argument, disaster molded to bend Stephanie and everything good that surrounded her until it all snapped and crumbled. And, that was what was happening between the two of them, wasn’t it? Lazarus Pits, the plague, her family, all those little details finally sneaking into their oasis from Gotham and rearing their ugly heads. Before where Eddie was her escape, calm waters for her to wade through and soak up, now she was drowning in all the issues rising up. Crash after crash after crash of pain and angst and mistakes. It highlighted their flaws, and that was starting to make their foundation crack even further.
She let out a long, shaky sigh and drew her back against the edgewall as well. She completely forgot about the straw-stuffed friend they both were there in the first place for. Instead, she drew her knees up to her chest, burying her face in her hands. There was no crying, and the warning he gave her about dunking Dick in the pool took away the panic and pain, but she still felt angry. “You know what’s so good for my family,” she said, voice muffled by her hands, words that could be misconstrued for praise, when it was the opposite. Shaking her head, she let out another shuddering breath. “Okay, okay.” But she didn’t look up and kept herself curled in that little ball, like the broken little bat she was. “You didn’t stick around, did you? To see how he was?” Because that was the most terrifying part of it all -- to see how the Lazarus Pit twisted and turned someone into something they weren’t.
He looked over to her, head dropping and turning with the preciseness of a wind-up doll. This reminded him of the night she came over for Oregon Trail. How he had invited her to his fortress of solitude because he knew something was wrong and such a strong part of him just wanted to make her feel better. And, even if they had a good fight about what she wanted, they got through it with hand holding, a couple more beers and some Dr. Who. Eddie remember how that night he fell asleep feeling content for the first time since he was in Gotham and had actually believed they could work through anything. For someone so egotistical, it was funny how he had canceled himself out of that revelation.
Eddie moved over to press his side against hers, head bowing a little so his healing nose barely touched the tip of her shoulder. “No.” Such a simple response. He could have riddled that. Should have. “He would have killed me. All the tranquilizers in the world wouldn’t keep him from killing me.” Yes, it must have been terrifying for Nightwing to wake up alone in that electrified Pit, but he’d survive. The Bat would know what happened in time to save his first Robin. “I stole the Tumbler. Left it right outside of Wonder City with a beacon on. They’ll find him.”
Stephanie knew it was a stupid little question, asking him if he stuck around to see Dick thrash his way back to life. He hadn’t stuck around when he dumped a little flask on her; why would he do any better for the oldest boy wonder? She pressed her fists into her eyes, staving off any tears (angry or otherwise) and sat up a little, but not enough to disturb him. Why couldn’t he show any sort of regret or guilt a week before? It might have made her a little less angry, or the healing a little quicker. “Eddie,” she sighed, dropping her hands to reveal those bloodshot blues as she looked to him through the corner of her eyes. His name, before something akin to a prayer or a reminder of all their good things, sounded more like a burden.
“Good,” she said, voice weak. At least they would find Dick quickly. Maybe he wouldn’t be alone in all of this. Her hand rested on his chest for a moment, fingers splayed about and then curling around that tie of his. She tugged against it and emitted a noise that was something between a choked sob and a whine. “They’re going to come after you. I can’t--they’re going to come, Batman, and Nightwing, and probably the others, too. And, I can’t stop them. You know that.” Her hand skated up his chest, up his neck, across his jaw to cup his cheek, and she twisted her neck to brush her nose gently against his. “Why couldn’t this just stay simple?” she murmured, eyes squeezing shut again as her thumb brushed against his pronounced cheekbone.
“That’s okay.” Eddie told her quietly, the sharp indifference that he had been carrying around with him all night crumbling away. There was relief in his eyes through the heaviness of having to be anchored to his typical little sins. He wanted to be reminded of what she could do to him and this plague put a strange, furious distance between them. She kept him from his mischief, which used to be so inconsequential, but now he was having a hard time remembering what it felt like to be untouchable. Like Crane. They’d beat the stuffing and straw out of Crane, but they couldn’t touch him. He was only going to get better and better at his little fear games until that was the only thing he knew. Maybe he was already there? “It’s my own fault. Batman needs someone to hurt, doesn’t he? Someone to punish. And, the lion is nowhere to be found.” He gave her an easy riddle. The Dark Knight failed his city, failed his family. So, why not take it out on the meddling little green man?
And, maybe Riddler wanted the Bat to come. Maybe he needed to see those wings descend from the Old Gotham skies to confirm exactly what he always feared about himself. The Dark Knight was always so good at telling Riddler things about himself that he knew were true, but couldn’t admit to. The Bat could tell him that this guilt he had been trying to crush since the hat drop was another lie. That he didn’t really love anyone but himself. And, Eddie could believe him and erase all of this if he wanted to. “Riddle me something.” He asked her, pushing his lips against hers for a quick, stolen kiss. And then another. “Would you have really wanted me to let you die? Curled up on the floor covered in blood. Is that what you wanted? Would you have said no to the Pit until the very end like the Bat would have?”
Stephanie liked being the anchor keeping Eddie to the ground, even if it was an incredible burden and responsibility. She suspected that the family would point to that when listing the fundamental flaws of the relationship between the bat and the green man, but she knew that wasn’t all they were about. No, beneath the angst and the problems surfacing now, they were partners playing the same game of give-and-take. They had just gotten lost along the way, and maybe the winding path was too much for both of them to bear at the moment, but Steph knew they could find themselves through the briny woods eventually. They had to, or else what was all of this for? What were these months for--just to simply fall apart and let it go?
She shook her head. “It doesn’t have to be you, Eddie,” she whispered, fingers curling into his hair gently, even if she knew it kind of did. “He’ll find Ra’s, and he’ll take it out on him because he deserves it.” She was scared for Eddie for the first time in a long time because who knew what the Bat would do now that Dick had been Pitted? She knew nothing of how upset Bruce was over her, either, but that didn’t matter. That was inconsequential. She hesitated with the first kiss, tense and unmoving, but the second kiss woke her up slightly. Just enough to answer his questions. She paused, face screwing up because why did he have to ask that? “I don’t know? I--hearing what happened to Selina and what happened to Dick, I can’t even think--but seeing Jason all those months ago when he came out of the Pit, and his eyes? All of it, it’s so terrifying.” She sighed, feather-light breath against his, and she pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I’ve been put through a lot,” she said, eyes still shut, but mouth turning down and throat burning with the truth coming out. “But I don’t know if I could have said no. Not to the end.”
His eyes closed, a soft humming noise rumbled from his throat when she kissed the edge of his mouth and suddenly all the frustration of this puzzle started to make sense again. He missed their soft affection as much as the way they used to press up against each other and get lost in tangled arms and hungry kisses. It calmed him down like a bored piano player in an empty jazz club, a crossword puzzle left unfinished on a park bench, a broken line of code that asked him for a quick fix. Dinner with Frank and his family felt like that, too and he remembered draping his arm around her chair like normal couples do in cafes. That’s what he was fighting for, but this city was so good at distracting him.
He kissed her again without thinking, this one a little longer and without the quick cowardly retreat. It slowly occurred to him that she was right, after all. He didn’t trust her. Maybe he surprised her with the Pit because he didn’t want her to have to make that choice or suffer for so long, but the truth was he didn’t believe she’d ever take it. For all the partner stuff he put so much confidence in, he didn’t even try to talk her into it. Just like how he went along with Pitting Grayson without really asking her if she thought it was going to be okay. He just assumed. He thought out all the scenarios and problems out on his own like he had done before her.
All this acting out, all this adrenaline seeking and colorful body snatching was just a way for him to fall back if he wanted to. He was good at building death traps, so why not construct one for himself like he always did? So, he imagined apologizing to her. Really meaning it. He imagined carrying guilt around with him without a place to ferret it away or hide. And, he thought she wouldn’t believe him. Even if she did, wasn’t too late for that? Riddler didn’t even understand what a person did when they felt sorry for something, especially since he wasn’t convinced he could keep himself from doing something like that again. “Should have talked about it.” He said finally, kissing her jaw and her lips with restrained hunger. It wasn’t sorry. He was still entertaining the possibility that the chemistry of being close to her was messing with him, but it was a big step for someone like him.
And, she missed all of this, too. Mostly she missed him. Not the green-suited man who bargained with the underworld to save her, but the scrawny geek who annoyed her into loving him and who calmed him down with his frantic kisses and searching touches. She shuddered into that long kiss, a taste of something she had been longing for for days upon days. Dinner with Frank’s family teased her just enough to remind her of what they were like usually: easy, flirty, and a little mischievous. But now, on this rooftop, she felt like a man wasting away in the desert just given his first taste of water in weeks. She let out a pathetic little whimper, one of greed and desire, and being around him was just making her dizzy. Being so close melted away all the bubbling anger, especially when he pressed his lips against hers so she could taste the restrained hunger.
“We should have,” she said, slightly breathless, and before she could capture his lips again, she plunged her hand into the neck of her suit to tug against the chain resting on her collarbone. The necklace he’d given her for Christmas. Despite everything, she still hadn’t taken it off, and that had to mean something, didn’t it? She couldn’t bear the thought of taking it off, of parting herself with that piece of him she always carried around. It swung to and fro between them, computer piece pendant hanging between her fingertips. It was a testament to whatever he wanted it to be. Her loyalty, her devotion, her addiction to him. How much this hurt her all. Everything. But, she never thought it would be simple with him. “If you want to call me your partner, you have to actually treat me like one.”
Eddie’s dark eyes settled on the necklace and he felt a little sick to his stomach, but in a familiar and good way. Like when they’d talk on the comm and the moment she’d click it off he sat there already missing her. Or when he managed to make her laugh even when she really wasn’t in the mood for his nerdy little jokes. There were things about her that made him sure she’d never completely cut him off, but the fact she held onto that necklace the same way he kept the ring made him understand this wasn’t something he could keep fumbling. Nothing he had done was malicious or abusive, nothing that should drive her away, but anyone who got really close to Riddler quickly learnt that he was capable of messing up in such grandiose ways that it was difficult to forgive or even understand him.
“I’ve never had one before.” He said gently, looking up to her. “There’s plenty of things that I’ve never done before that I’m good at. Remarkably good at. But, this-” Eddie’s gaze darted away in a moment of broken confidence and his shoulders moved an a tiny shrug. “I keep meaning to ask you for another try, but it’s going to take more than one. And, hints. And maybe some cheat codes off the internet.” He barely smiled at her and sat back with a sigh, running his hand through his hair as he breathed in the dirty Gotham air like it was free of pollution and diseases. “You said I was trouble, but I was worth it. Do you remember that?” His smile brightened before fading all together. “Maybe you should ask yourself if you really still believe that.”
“Well, trust me,” Stephanie implored, reaching out to grab his hand and tangle their fingers. Partnerships were hard, especially when both halves were decidedly on different sides until recently when they began to straddle the fence to meet each other halfway. She knew that, and she knew Eddie couldn’t have been used to working with someone else. Not when being a rogue was such a lonely existence. But, they were all about pushing each other, Stephanie and Eddie, and she would push until he realized how good this was and how easy it was to trust him.
She let the necklace fall back onto her chest, pendant resting on the yellow bat there in a strange juxtaposition, and she watched him fall back against the edgewall with a sigh. “I did,” she said, remember that conversation quite clearly. She remembered all their conversations quite clearly. Even back then, she knew all of this would be complicated, that there would be pain and frustration, but it would all be worth it. Having him was fulfilling enough to let all the bullshit fall to the side. But, now, she pursed her lips, frowning when his smile slipped so quickly, and she sighed. “Maybe--maybe we need to take a step back.” And, she hated herself for saying it, but she knew it was right. “You know how I feel about you, you know, but...I won’t say it since I haven’t said it yet tonight. But, you know. How angry I am.” Anger that wouldn’t let her keep him close, even if that was what she wanted. “I miss you so much, and I need you, but I can’t just--.” Let it go. She wanted to just let it go, but she couldn’t. Still, she found his lips again, hungry and greedy with arms wrapping around his neck to pull him up against her.
He looked at her with those wide, serious dark eyes and knew she was right. Maybe a break wasn’t good for him, but they wouldn’t be able to figure anything out if they stayed so frantically tangled. Part of him understood that he had to wrestle with the green question marks by himself, a notion he had since this all started, but he was still so worried what it might dig back up. So he just silently nodded like someone accepting their sentence and desperately returned her kiss. Eddie messily clung to her, one hand around her waist as the other held onto the wall so he could press up against her like he forgot how much he hated her in that suit. What it meant that she was comfortable in it now. All that mattered was trying to feel past the kevlar to the girl he was devoted to.
“I’m going to have to lock myself out of our comm.” He said with a funny little grin against her lips, hungrily opening his mouth to tangle his tongue with hers. This didn’t feel like the angry kiss from the night he drenched her in Lazarus Pit, it was just full of that familiar want and need that made him really believe they could get through the worst of it together. But, he knew this wasn’t going to last much longer. That even if they tried to get back together now, he’d be battling her fury while trying so hard to get back to reforming. So, for now he took what he could. Each kiss like a broken jewelery case. Each gripping touch like a vault he was trying to crack. If she was going to take a step back, then he’d have to memorize the way she felt against him and the taste of her skin. That and the ring hidden in his breast pocket would keep from falling any further. It had to.
Stephanie moaned in the back of her throat a little, a playful and longing little noise. Being pressed against him so closely reminded her of all the good times with him: the stolen moments on Christmas Eve and Day, the nights they spent together in his dorky Riddler lair. All the moments she treasured just as much as their chats on the comm. This was exactly what she was missing during these weeks, and she suddenly felt more alive than she had since before the plague seeped into their lives and shredded the happiness Gotham rarely afforded anyone. “Good,” she breathed against his lips between kisses with a smirk of her own. So out of place when this was supposed to stop everything all together. But, they needed this one last taste of each other to get through, didn’t they? “Because I have no idea how to lock myself out. And I don’t think I’d want to.”
She knew she would go back to the cowl. In that moment, she knew it, and it scared her to think of how Eddie might react. But, he needed to realize this was her, wasn’t it? Dressed in the cowl, fighting crime, doing good, that was what Stephanie Brown was built for. Not sitting on the sidelines and hoping everything would be okay. Maybe the time apart would help him realize it, settle it in his brain. She rocked her body against his, whimpering against his lips as she tangled tongues with him, and she was full of want, want, want. She couldn’t get enough, and she didn’t want this to end at all, but it had to. Just. Not before they reminded themselves of what was waiting.
His mind finally caught a familiar buzzing distortion that it had been craving since this plague tested the both of them. He had tried to replace the feeling through the same old question marked tricks, but it never came close to this. He felt empty catching his breath on those abandoned subway stairs after running from a resurrected vigilante, but she could make him feel grounded, real and wanted just long enough for him to start missing her again. And, he didn’t think about putting his green suit back on or what underground deals he had to take care of before the night was over. He just let himself get lost for a little while, eyes closed and arms around her like he didn’t just agree to let her go.
“I can’t do it, you have to.” He whispered shakily against her mouth, kissing her again before she could respond or push him off. Sure, when he got home and spent enough time with his (full) bottle of scotch and tried to lose himself in repairing a computer or fixing his programming, he could break their comm link in a quick change of frequency. He was always great at flipping switches. But, he wasn’t going to crawl off her and if she let him linger much longer, he’d try to get her back to his apartment or shorten his time away.
Writhing on this rooftop with Eddie, Steph felt that familiar rush of adrenaline he filled her with, similar to putting on the cowl and taking down a couple of jackasses, but so much sweeter. Like the best high she could ever even imagine. He made her feel important, needed, wanted, and most importantly, happier than she'd been in ages. Her body buzzed pleasantly, ached for more, and she completely forgot about the tiny vestiges left from the disease that ravages their city. No, all she could focus on was him, right then, right there.
She shook her head violently. Why would she want to break away from this when it all felt so good? But, he was right. She would have to push him away. She would have to be the brave one with all of this. Whimpering, she dug her fingers into his shoulders, clinging to what would be their last embrace for a while. "I know, I know," she repeated over and over and over as she tried to convince herself of it all, but kept getting lost in passionate embraces and an itch to just tear off his suit. She could be strong. She had to be. And, after one long, tender kiss, then a light one to his jaw, she detangled herself and shoved him away. Far enough that she couldn't reach out again. She stood quickly before she could think better of it, but her feet were glued to the spot as she stared down at him.
"Okay, I can do this." She steeled herself, but rocked on her feet as she capitulated over this final moment. How they should leave it.
He crashed backwards with an exaggerated oof and smiled up, legs stretched under her and chin tilted up. Eddie was still a little lost in the electricity of her, his smile a bit goofier than it had been since the plague started like she had hit him too hard on the head. “Say you’ll miss me. Say you’ll try the comm tomorrow night after I’ve ruined it.” He gave a ghost of a laugh, closing his eyes. “No, no. I’ve got it.” He lifted a single finger like he just had the best idea anyone in Gotham had ever had. “Tell me you’ll be back. That’s all I need to hear, I swear.” He murmured, opening one eye long enough to look up at her and then closing it again.
Eddie didn’t want to watch her leave, he didn’t even want to know the Gotham skyline existed anymore. He wanted to sit in darkness and drink up the last ghost whispers of her touch. Tomorrow he’d be back to sitting around a table full of Gotham’s finest wearing his best green suit and laughing at how glad they all were to be alive. Tomorrow she’d be back out here as Batgirl saving people who needed it. And, for the first time in months he’d have to keep himself from calling her up or hacking her computer. They’d be back on their sides of the fence with all the holes and cracks boarded up so they couldn't whisper to each other. But, for now he could pretend what he wanted wouldn’t be put on pause.
She couldn't help the smile crawling up her lips as she looked down at her geeky green man. All punch drunk and happy, as if they weren't facing a separation. It all seemed a little juvenile, like something you'd see on one of those silly teen melodramas, but Steph knew they needed this. And, she had faith that they would come out of this better than before. Yes, the wall was up again, keeping them apart, but they would be okay. They would find each other eventually. They had to, or else she didn't know what she would do anymore. If Gotham would mean anything anymore.
She almost muttered how much she would miss him, and she parted her lips to deny that she would try the comm the next evening. No, she decided to part a little differently than he demanded, but just enough to make him miss her more than she would him. Stooping down while his eyes were still closed, she got close enough to tickle his lips with her breath. "I'll be back," she whispered, then brushed her lips against his, but before she could react, there was the bang of the grapple hook and she was gone. Just remembering then about the reason she was there in the first place. She'd find another stakeout and fight the burning urge to just follow her Eddie home.