InsaneJournal

Who: Alfred and Lois
What: Hanging at the BatHouse
Where: *points up* The BatHouse. DUH
When: After she moved in and did some appropriate grocery shopping.
Warnings: Lois.



Lois was a considerate house guest. She didn’t bother Bruce unless he was wandering around and available to bother, she didn’t throw out all of his protein and replace it with Twinkies, and she didn’t blare her music anywhere except her headphones. But she was also still Lois Lane, so she’d claimed a section of the fridge, claimed a cupboard, and made herself as at home as she could be.

Daytime TV was part of the culture of the unemployed but she hadn’t been able to get into it all that easily so she utilized her time trying to find work. Bruce had said he’d help her out, but she thought about trying a few other things first. She got about three sentences into her novel before she decided she didn’t have the patience. She did some online shopping and she ordered a hideous crystal sculpture from the Home Shopping Network before she thought she needed something else to occupy her time. And by something else she apparently meant a dance party USA in the kitchen while she waited for her frozen pizza (thank you Catwoman) to finish baking. She was wearing a flannel shirt that was frayed around the edge of the hem but it was comfortable and two sizes too big. Her black leggings and mismatched socks really complemented the outfit (Bruce’s floors were cold and she’d packed like a frat boy trying to get out of her apartment).

She had her earbuds in her ears and her iPod in the front pocket of her flannel shirt and she was singing louder than she realized as she danced around the kitchen. She was so deep into Gaga and her dance party that there was no way she was going to notice that she had company. So when she did a spin and was halfway through the second verse and she opened her eyes and saw Alfred standing in the doorway of the kitchen she stopped dead in her tracks and very nearly fell over only able to catch herself by grabbing the counter. She pulled her earbuds out and unplugged them because the music was quite loud once they were out of her ears. She smiled and tried to look as natural as possible, “Hi. I’m Lois Lane.”

Alfred was aware that there was another resident of Wayne Manor, would have been even without Bruce’s warning through the journals. There was simply a different feel to the house when there was another body roaming the halls. Especially a female type of body. Alfred hadn’t seen a true female resident of the manor since the late Mrs. Wayne, and he had quite the suspicion that Miss Lane would be nothing like the former lady of the manor. If nothing else, the additions to the kitchen were evidence of that. He tidied what was placed there, taking note of the types of food that the woman preferred so that they could be added to the shopping list (though he would have to somehow impress upon her the benefit of balanced meals, it seemed).

When the singing began to echo through the halls, Alfred had to smile to himself and track down its source. It didn’t surprise him to find her in the kitchen, the noise adding something cheerful where there was usually quite the dearth of cheer. He stopped to watch the singing and dancing for a moment, wondering if the kitchens of any of his other selves were like this - full of life and noise with all the varied family members. If so, he spared a brief moment of jealousy for them.

He didn’t have a chance to think too long on it, Lois finally turning and seeing him, wrestling the earbuds from her ears. He smiled as he stood and waited for her to collect herself, hands clasped behind his back. “I am aware, Miss Lane. Are you finding the kitchen to your liking?”

She chuckled and opened the cupboard nearest to her (she didn’t even have to pick a cupboard). It was full of tubs of whey protein and she pointed, “Protein also comes in the form of steaks,” she said smiling wryly before she closed it again. “I’m going to try not to be in your way but I’m warning you now that ‘in the way’ is kind of my M.O.”

His smile didn’t spread, though it did warm in a way that was completely in the eyes, when she opened the cabinet. “I am aware. Though there are not many in the household that would know what to do in order to bring a raw steak to an edible level. Even less so, now that I am often away.” He gave the cabinet a wry look of his own as she shut the door. “I’m certain you will not be ‘in the way’. It is a large manor.”

Lois chuckled, “Well don’t look at me I’m afraid I wouldn’t know where to start either,” she said grinning at him. “Well I’ll do my best but I tend to show up at all the wrong times, but when I’m not lost wandering around this place and hollering for help, I hope I can make as little impact as possible. Kind of like introducing a foreign organism into an eco-system, I’ll do my best not to make a mess of things.”

Alfred smiled again, still warm. “I think we can find a place for you then. And even a space of your own. I do not mind if you cause chaos, as long as it stays within your own designated area. We did recently have a teenage boy here, after all. I can’t imagine you could be much worse than he.” The timer on the oven went off, and Alfred was there with potholders, nearly before Lois could even make a move toward the oven. He pulled the pizza out and set it on the stove, then reached for a drawer off to the side and emerged with a pizza cutter. “I recommend letting it sit briefly, to make the cheese easier to cut.” He said it as if frozen pizza was often within his culinary expertise.

Lois grinned as she leaned against the counter and nodded, “And I don’t intend on being a permanent resident, so you’ve all got that to look forward to,” she made a face when he mentioned a teenage boy, “God I hope not, I have a teenaged sister, I can’t imagine a teenaged boy is much better that hurricane Lucy.” When he pulled the pizza out for her she smiled happily, pizza cutter now in hand and gave a little salute, “That explains an awful lot about my past frozen pizza experiences. Thanks.”

“You are of course welcome as long as you would like to stay, Miss Lane. We shall not remove you simply for a small case of chaos.” Alfred’s expression had gone back to being serious, but there was a tone to it that betrayed his still warm amusement. The pizza cutter salute received a nod in return. “I have heard it also helps to prevent cheese burns on one’s chin.” After a pause, he indicated another cabinet with a glance. “You will find dishes in there that are less prone to breaking with use, if you so desire. And trays are below.” Another glance at a shelf below the counter showed a stack of handled trays.
Lois was glad to at least be told she could make herself at home. She was doing her best, she still had visions of finding her own place to live but she needed a job first. And she needed to know where to go, she needed Superman to come back, and she really needed bad guys to stop following her around. All of this equated to holing up at Batman’s house for a while. She could handle it, and at least thus far it hadn’t been too weird. “Psh. My chin is used to cheese burns,” she said with a wide smile. “It has yet to meet a cheese that can hold it back.” She smiled appreciatively while Alfred showed her around the kitchen and she nodded. “I think this is the first kitchen I’ve actually known where to find anything, and that includes my own.”

Alfred allowed another warm smile at Lois’ assurances that her chin would be just fine, and proceeded to show her the rest of the kitchen. She’d already claimed some small areas for herself, but if she would be staying any length of time (which he suspected she might, given what he’d gathered of her current situation), he wanted her to feel as if the Manor was her home as well. “I try to keep it well-organized. I’m sure you can imagine that when the other resident...s of the house come into the kitchen, they don’t have much time to scuttle about looking for things.” He’d hesitated just a bit on the plural, still getting used to the fact that the Manor now housed more than simply him and Bruce. It wasn’t an unwanted development, though, and Lois was more than welcome to join the rest. “I only ask that you return things to where you found them. Or leave them near the sink to be cleaned.”

Lois smiled brightly and gave Alfred the thumbs up, “I can do my own dishes, it’s cathartic,” she said with a wry grin. “Pizza?” she asked once she finally went about cutting it.

“You may be the only one in this house that feels that way, I fear.” Alfred smiled but shook his head slightly at the offer of pizza. “Thank you, but I am fine, Miss Lane. In fact, I shall leave you to your meal. I have other things to attend to.” He paused before heading for the door. “And if you need anything, please simply let me know.” With that, he turned and moved away, slipping out of the kitchen while Lois was still slicing her pizza.