InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Kiss the insane one! ;)"

🎵 𝄞 🎸 𝄫 🎷🎶 🎻 (jukejoint) wrote in doors,
@ 2014-02-24 22:07:00

Entry tags:

christine daae, scarecrow

Ash D
[Locked to Ash D]
[During this shit.]

Ok, let's fucking talk, yeah?

(Post a new comment)

	Sam A/Ash D perspective 2014-02-25 03:13 am UTC (link)
	About? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: Sam A/Ash D jukejoint 2014-02-25 03:23 am UTC (link)
	Ash, come the fuck on. Don't play stupid. I don't want everyone to fall apart over this shit, yeah? So, what the fuck is actually going on? Do you love this fucker? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Sam A/Ash D perspective 2014-02-25 03:25 am UTC (link)
	Everyone's already falling apart about it. And I don't know how I feel about him. I care about him, yes. I don't know if it's love. I'm too dizzy with everything else going on right now that I hardly feel much of anything about anyone at all, right now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Sam A/Ash D

jukejoint
2014-02-25 03:30 am UTC (link)

So, yeah, just let me write for a minute, ok? I know my handwriting is ass, but just bear the fuck with me.

You were dating this guy or whatever, and your entire fucking family tells you he's bad news. He tells you he isn't or whatever, and you decide to believe him instead of the people who fucking care about you. Why would you fucking do that? It's his word against theirs, and you know they want the fucking best for you.

And don't defend his ass to me. He talked to Gwen when I had her, and she talked to Neil about him. I know he's a fucking creep, Chloe or no Chloe. So, why the fuck would you do this if you didn't love him?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Sam A/Ash D

perspective
2014-02-25 03:38 am UTC (link)

I wanted to believe that he's different from the rest of his family. That... that they were biased against him, no matter what he did or said.

And... I... I had a really bad time at one of the parties. And he helped me through it without asking a thing of me. Helped me come to terms with it. A complete stranger helped me out when I needed it - and no, there was no way he knew who I was then. We were anonymous on the journals when this happened. I didn't know his name and he did not know mine. I never came out about that on the journals... not until we met in person. And yeah, I'm thankful for him for that. He was there when I needed someone... and he was there when I was still hurting over what happened with Aiden.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Sam A/Ash D

jukejoint
2014-02-25 03:42 am UTC (link)

Baby, even assholes can be nice. It doesn't mean they aren't fucking assholes. Even fucking murderers have friends, yeah? One thing doesn't cancel out the other. I'm not saying he got with you because of who you were. I just don't get how you can want him knowing what he did. I still can't walk, yeah? Neil can't even pay his fucking mortgage, and it's not a big house. This shit has torn your brothers apart or whatever. How can a guy outweigh that shit?

But whatever, that's not even the important shit. The important shit is this kid, and what you want to fucking do.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Sam A/Ash D

perspective
2014-02-25 03:46 am UTC (link)

We slept together before you got hurt, Sam. I haven't hardly seen him since then because I get sick when I even think about it. Before you got hurt... it was something different, something that was more... 'Alright, my brothers don't like him, but I'm just having fun. We go out once in a while. He buys me something pretty. I'm just having fun." And then everything to serious and I'm still reeling.

[...] I'm trying to figure that out. Trying to decide who's going to be unhappy the most and if I can live with hurting people.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Sam A/Ash D jukejoint 2014-02-25 03:49 am UTC (link)
	Hey, listen, yeah? That baby doesn't have shit to do with this fucking mess. Having him or her, that isn't going to hurt anyone. If anyone says it is, you point me at them and I'll hit them with my fucking walker, ok? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Sam A/Ash D perspective 2014-02-25 03:53 am UTC (link)
	I'll let you know if someone does that, then. If you let me take pictures of it. [...] I talked to Alexander's brother. They'd take the baby, if I couldn't bring myself to keep it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Sam A/Ash D jukejoint 2014-02-25 03:59 am UTC (link)
	Yeah? Ok. Deal. Is that what you want? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Sam A/Ash D perspective 2014-02-25 04:03 am UTC (link)
	The baby might be better off with a family that will love it no matter who its mother is. I think it's important that the baby's with one of their parents. That they know where they came from. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Sam A/Ash D jukejoint 2014-02-25 04:05 am UTC (link)
	You feel that way about yourself? Birth parents aren't always better, baby. I promise you that Lou was better off with your rents than with my moms and pops. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Sam A/Ash D perspective 2014-02-25 04:09 am UTC (link)
	I never knew my mother or father. She gave me up before I was even born. It doesn't bother me most days, but some days... I wonder what was wrong that she didn't try. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Sam A/Ash D jukejoint 2014-02-25 04:12 am UTC (link)
	Whoa, baby, that's a lot of fucking hate right there. How do you know she didn't try? Maybe she agonized for her entire fucking pregnancy, and maybe she did what she thought would be best for you. I don't think being raised by people who would hire someone to kill a person for no fucking reason is best for anyone, do you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Sam A/Ash D perspective 2014-02-25 04:16 am UTC (link)
	I don't know. I don't know what her situation was, and I don't think I ever will. My parents don't talk about it. So I don't think I'll ever know. [...] The logical answer to that is no, I don't. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Sam A/Ash D jukejoint 2014-02-25 04:42 am UTC (link)
	Logical, yeah, but it's not how you actually feel. Is it because it's me? If they'd tried to kill Neil, would you feel different or whatever? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Sam A/Ash D perspective 2014-02-25 04:43 am UTC (link)
	~~Maybe it's because a part of me still doesn't believe they're capable of trying to kill someone~~ That's not it at all, Sam. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Sam A/Ash D jukejoint 2014-02-25 04:52 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, ok. Good luck, yeah? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Sam A/Ash D perspective 2014-02-25 04:53 am UTC (link)
	[...] yeah. thank you. (Reply to this) (Parent)