ugh, christmas is going to suck this year. my boyfriend and i have hardly any money, and i know this isn't want "christmas is all about" but still. he came up to me saying, "babe, we're not getting anything for each other this year, right? cause, we can't afford it." which also means i can't get anything for my friends/family. AND to make it worse, i may not be able to see my family. i hate living on my own, i hate having responsibilities, and as much as i love money? i absolutely hate it. idk. ever since i moved to where we are now, i just haven't been myself. i despise it here. having your door being kicked open by three guys with guns pointed at your face for money or weed isn't what i call fun. seeing one of your best friends practically dragging herself up the driveway one night after getting attacked by five guys isn't cool either. i have to carry my fucking bear mace shit my boyfriend orderd for me just to have a cigarette outside now. i'm so paranoid, so always stressed out. my hair is seriously falling out, i've been sick for the past three weeks because of the stress.