The video starts with the frame focused uncomfortably close on an eye, its iris dark blue. The eye blinks with full lashes batting once. The camera pans out slowly, revealing a masculine brow and a perfectly chiseled nose, jaw, and a pair of strong, yet kissable lips. The picture stays still for a moment, and only this ridiculously handsome and rugged face is in view. He speaks in a sassy monotone, beginning his song.
"I'm too sexy for my love. Too sexy for my love, love's going to leave me..."
The drums and music start to play from an unknown source as the camera zooms out to reveal Captain Hammer in his normal dashing attire, taking strong and bold steps to the beat, his piercing eyes still staring down the camera. He makes it to his large closet, his muscular and made-perfectly-in-God's-image gloved right hand touches the entirety of his wardrobe(which consists of seven exact replicas of his current outfit, plus a large fuzzy dark blue bathrobe) as he sings.
"I'm too sexy for my shirt Too sexy for my shirts So sexy it hurts!"
He shakes his perfectly sized manly hips side to side.
"And I'm too sexy for Milan, too sexy for Milan, New York and Japan."
The camera zooms back behind Hammer as he reaches the wall in his bedroom that is made entirely out of an obnoxiously large mirror. From this point on, the camera is fixed on Hammer's stunningly beautiful reflection in the mirror. He's doing little dance moves, rocking his hips back and forth, slight nodding of his head to the beat, and circling his closed large fists around each other. He sings to his reflection in the mirror, completely serious.
"And I'm too sexy for your party, too sexy for your party! No way I'm disco dancing!"
He does a perfectly executed manly disco move, a pointed finger and and outstretched arm crossing over his body and then pointed diagonally at the ceiling. Then he does a quick, powerful pelvic thrust.
"I'm a model, you know what I mean, and I do my little turn on the catwalk."
Hammer does a spin, then starts to tug up on his shirt to the beat like he is a professional male stripper.
"Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk, yeah I do my little turn on the catwalk."
During the music break, Hammer completely strips off his shirt, and swings it in a helicopter-like motion over his head before letting it fly away. His chest has flawless tanned skin, and not a single hair. Every inch of his chest contains well-defined and large muscles. The most impressive of course being his 12-pack abs and his pecs, and he proudly shows off the latter by flexing them back and forth to the beat. Hammer raises his beautiful thick and rippling arms to place his hands behind his head, and does a few pelvic thrusts as he dances.
"I'm too sexy for my car, Too sexy for my car, Too sexy by far! And I'm too sexy for my hat, Too sexy for my hat, What do you think about that?"
He asks his reflection, and throws his arms out to the side as if he is challenging the man in the mirror. He flips his soft and luscious light brown hair a couple of times. At the next part of the song, he does a full on model walk down an imaginary runway and turns, pointing finger-guns at his reflection.
"I'm a model, you know what I mean, And I do my little turn on the catwalk. Yeah on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah I shake my little tush on the catwalk!"
As he reaches his original position a couple feet away from the mirror, Hammer turns and watches himself shake his butt to the beat. After about 10 seconds of this, he turns back to face the mirror and does various poses a bodybuilder would do to show off his muscles, his lips pursed. He looks like he is impressing himself beyond belief, and nods at his awesomeness.
"I'm too sexy for my, Too sexy for my, too sexy for my-"
He starts to fiddle with his belt, and whips it off, and with one hand on each end, rubs the belt along his chest, his rear end, and then discards it on the floor.
"'Cos I'm a model, you know what I mean, And I do my little turn on the catwalk Yeah on the catwalk yea on the catwalk, yeah I shake my little tush on the catwalk!"
He shakes his tush, and continues to dance, and pose, flexing his muscles and showing every single part of his exposed body off.
"I'm too sexy for my cat, Too sexy for my cat, Poor pussy, poor pussy cat!"
Hammer drops his pants, revealing a pair of tight-fitting heart boxers. He makes a sexy model-esque pose and does an air-kiss to his reflection in the mirror-wall. His upper-body, obviously, is absolutely perfect and shockingly manly, but his lower body is just as impressive of a sight. Thighs, buttocks, calves, and even ankles are perfectly toned and amazingly muscular.
"I'm too sexy for my love Too sexy for my love Love's going to leave me.."
It looks as if he's about to remove those heart-boxers, which would have made him naked except for his gloves, but he suddenly looks like he's too cool for that and waves a hand of dismissal.
"And I'm too sexy for this song."
Much to the disappointmentrelief of those watching, the video suddenly cuts out.