1/2
Bucky watched Steve's mouth open and close as a blush rose on his face, caught between frustrated and amused by it. Only Steve fucking Rogers wouldn't have had that idea already and known what Bucky meant, and only Steve would make Bucky feel like he'd suggested something sordid without saying a word. It was what they should get - what they should get to want. That's what the stuff was for. To clear off the shit weighing down on top so maybe Steve could feel what he wanted to feel instead, for a little while. While he could. While he had a last chance to grab. It had let Bucky want to actually talk to someone and dance for a night one time, he thought it might actually let Steve stop worrying long enough to love his girl and let her love him.
Bucky half expected more arguing, or at least some kind of sputtered protest. Pushing the flask into Steve's hand had been a half-baked effort to shortcut it, but Bucky hadn't really expected it to work. Steve, as usual, didn't go where Bucky tried to lead him, or end up where Bucky expected. Instead he just draped back up against Bucky's shoulder and stumbled his way through a question.
It was strange to think about. There were a lot of things Bucky had just stopped thinking about for their own sake. He read smutty, terrible, hilariously unlikely books full of sex, but he didn't actually think about it applied to himself outside of the rare times he'd had to go have it on demand. Bucky hadn't felt human for a long time. Parts that used to run hot in his head had just been flatlined since the Arena while he ran against his own head, half on autopilot. He knew how he felt about Steve, but hadn't gotten past knowing that really to the idea of wanting anything else because it had always been something he knew he wasn't going to have. He hadn't even known how he missed being touched by someone he trusted until Steve hugged him again, or Clint cuddled up to him on the couch. Simple, human things he'd forgotten to miss until they were there again.
The guy he'd been, who'd smiled at girls and liked to dance and neck and flirt, he mostly felt like a different person then whoever Bucky was now. Steve was about the only common thread the two of them had.