As soon as Bucky began to make sounds about leaving, Steve abandoned the coffee maker and turned around, his expression distinctly pained.
"Don't," he said. "Don't do that, don't - " Run away, he didn't finish, because that wasn't fair at all, not when he'd been doing a little bit of that himself the last few minutes. Instead, he took a deep breath and crossed over to Bucky, grabbing a chair and pulling it over, so that when he sank down into it he was right beside his friend.
"I'm an asshole, sorry," Steve said, because purposely avoiding what someone had just told you was always a dick move, let alone when it was something this personal, something that Bucky had probably agonized over before deciding to go for it. "I just, I'm not any good at this kinda thing, you know I'm not - it's a miracle Peggy even likes me - "
He broke off, abruptly, and winced, because was that cruel of him, to bring up the woman he was currently with? Bucky had mentioned her a couple times, but that wasn't really the same, and hell, the last thing Steve wanted to do was hurt Bucky. But he probably was, whether he intended it or not, right? It couldn't be easy, to see someone you loved - well, cared about, Bucky hadn't exactly come right out and said the L-word - in a relationship with someone else.
Steve did feel an unwelcome stab of annoyance at Peggy, who was apparently responsible for orchestrating this confession in the first place. He was sure it was well-intended, unwilling to believe anything less from her, but it still felt like this should have been something between him and Bucky, without it being tied into some hopeless plan to save him from the arena. Though maybe that was selfishness on his part, too, not wanting one more complication to consider when his head was already full up with the things they needed to get in place, with how to keep the revolution going after he was gone.
"Why the hell do you want me, when all I do is bring trouble to everyone's doorstep?" Steve asked, a trace of bitter there, and after a moment he shook his head. "Sorry, don't - you don't gotta answer that, I ain't fishing," he murmured. "I just - hell, Buck, I didn't - I didn't see this coming." That was an understatement, but he did what he could to muster a crooked smile in Bucky's direction. "You know you're - you know what you mean to me, don't you?" Steve asked, blue eyes raised to Bucky's face. Because he loved Bucky, dearly, he always had, but he wasn't sure if it was the kind of love that also involved wanting to kiss someone's mouth, or get your hands on their skin. He'd never thought about it before, it had never even occurred to him to consider Bucky in that context, and now that felt like a failing on his part somehow, like he should have given some thought to that so he'd have a better answer already prepared.