"Yeah," Bucky agreed. It had seemed worth it to him, too. He didn't spend his money on much either. The house was courtesy of the Capitol. He thought it might be too easy if he had a source - when you felt weighted down most of the time, lightness was probably addictive or something. But he'd promised Peggy, and he'd only used it once since she got it for him, so he figured he was doing all right. And Clint had been around the Capitol a long time. If he was going to disappear into a drug, he'd have let himself already. He might as well have it, if they could find it.
Bucky blinked at the outburst and then laughed. "'snot pity. It's concern. I can think it's fucked up and hate that it had to happen and not pity you. Make it sound like ... looking down when you say pity. Who of us stands high enough to look down at anybody? But fine. If you wanna know, then things are weird and fucked up and Natasha ran us out of there before they went really bad, so now they probably have to stay weird a while." Clint mostly knew already, so Bucky sighed. "Short version is - back last time, Natasha was supposed to be somewhere. She needed a reason to not have been, and I said I'd help her out. I wanted to. But my head gets fucked up, and once people started hearing about it, believing it ... didn't do good with it, because I'm not all that great at helping anymore, turns out. Then Steve heard about it that night, and along with the other shit he'd figured out, he put too much together and swung on the guy. I was hanging on by a thread and Nat swooped in, pretended Steve was jealous over her, then got us both out. That's what happened, and it's the kind of stupid you only get in the Capitol. But guess it worked, since they're probably talking about our sordid threesome now, and not how I beat her up."
Bucky shrugged self consciously. "It sucked," he agreed. "But I think you get the crown. Scott can come in second. Rest of us should have been able to pull off a night where we don't make it worse for you, and we didn't. So that's why I'm sorry. Not pity, you shit."
He could feel the little buzz of the drug starting, the feeling of lightness and ease, where things happened, but they just didn't bother him as much. Slow still, but starting. He laughed. "The arrows probably won't be around for most of us, if we make it to an anniversary shitshow, anyway," Bucky said. He grinned at Moo, petting her obligingly and then picking her up to set her back on his chest, feeling the slight, purring weight. "Like a little motor," he said, laughing. "Bucky, mostly. But doesn't really matter. Natasha and my Ma are the only ones who ever call me James, though."