Alicia.
Of course I want to be your friend. I've gone against every instinct screaming at me to put distance between us and walked back every single time I've tried because I care about you and I'm selfish and I want you in my life.
Blaming the public thing on Angelina was shitty but I was also drunk. And I came out on the defensive bc all of a sudden a whole lot of people apparently think I'm a Death Eater and that's also pretty shitty!
And the rest is [...] yeah. I am. I'm a fucking coward. I was scared of how you and he and everyone else would react if it got out. I still am, that's not over yet. I'm scared of my crazy aunt and uncle and even the Malfoys, a little bit. I'm scared of what they'll do if they think I've anything to do with the Order so I keep distancing. I'm scared of my father, he's hurt and killed dozens of people and he's going to keep doing it and that's horrifying but somehow I still care about him and I want him to care about me and I don't know what kind of fucked up psychology landed me there but there I am. I am scared all the fucking time and it is paralyzing and I keep doing the wrong thing because honestly I don't even know what the right thing would be. I guess I thought if I could keep playing cards right I could make everything work somehow but that obviously collapsed so. I don't know what to do.