DMLE.
Spontaneous flames not enough? On the one day my cats are not in their home? THIS IS SUSPICIOUS.
Do not be such a fool as to think that people do not hate me. I am not blind, I am not an idiot. THIS was a magical fire that has burned my house down. GO inspect it then. I am not the investigator here.
It was not just a fire it burned to quickly. IT WAS A MAGICAL FIRE.