lucius malfoy (loucius) wrote in disorderic, @ 2017-12-04 17:12:00 |
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Entry tags: | lucius malfoy, rodolphus lestrange |
WHO: Rodolphus Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy ft. Ernie Perm
WHAT: Wigs, wigmakers, and intimidation (in that order)
WHEN: December 4, hbd Rodolphus!!!
WHERE: Tangle & Noils Wigmakers & Perruquiers
As Lucius had believed, Madam Malkin's and the Menagerie had been easy to convince. There had been nothing to it. A few strong suggestions from Lucius and a couple of disarming smiles from Rodolphus made them readily agreeable to their plans. Their next target was Tangle & Noils Wigmakers & Perruquiers. It was located oddly, on top of a broom shop that Lucius didn't care for, and there were no stairs. There were complimentary Briggs brooms, though, and although it made him feel foolish, he took one up to Tangle & Noils. Brushing off imaginary dirt, he turned to Rodolphus. "This place looks ready to collapse any minute now." Rodolphus had an extremely disdainful expression on his face as he got off the broom, grateful for his gloves. “I’m extremely doubtful about its abilities to draw many people in,” he said, with a twist to his mouth that bordered on a sneer. “This is vile, Lucius. We should make this as quick as possible.” He didn’t care that his voice may have carried as he opened the shop door and stepped inside, gingerly, as if he expected the floor to cave in. "We don't need it to draw people in," Lucius said, although his attention was split between his conversation and warily observing his surroundings. He was half-concerned that the wigs displayed on the wall would come to life. There seemed to be one that was actually moving. "They can be informants without business." No sooner than they had taken more than ten steps did a balding, lanky man block their path. His voice was gruff, despite the enthusiasm in his countenance. "Welcome to Tangles and Noils Wigmakers and Perruquiers! The name's Ernie Perm! Can I interest you in this month's specialty wig?" Lucius held up a hand. "I was under the impression Aristotle Combs was the owner." That was what Narcissa's intern had told him. "He's my brother!" Ernie replied, still as cheery as ever. "Me and my brothers all help out! Combs-Perm-Fringe-Weaver-Barber Wigmakers and Perruquiers felt a bit much!" Rodolphus stared at Ernie Perm, his eyes going slightly wide for a moment before returning to normal. “You have four brothers, all with different surnames?” He didn’t care about the arrogant dismissive tone that crept into his voice. It was too much. Combs-Perm-Fringe-Weaver-Barber. Rodolphus wanted to pinch his nose. “You’re right, it would be far too much.” He smiled, then, because it was slightly polite. “You made a slightly better choice.” Ernie looked at the two of them as if he couldn't believe that they couldn't comprehend the situation. "We're quintuplets and it's quite easy to mistake one of us for the other," he chirped. "It was easier just to change our names!" Lucius opened his mouth to say something and found that he had nothing to say. What was there to say to that? "All right," he offered after a minute. "Mr… Perm. We need your help." The man's eyes flickered to Lucius' hair. "Are you looking for a new wig, sir? It does look like it's time for an upgrade!" Lucius' indignance could probably be heard the next shop over. "An upgrade?" Rodolphus’ laugh rumbled out of him, deep and hearty. “An upgrade, Lucius. You know. For your wig.” "I'm afraid you're mistaken," he said through clenched teeth. He shot Rodolphus a glare before turning a forced smile on Ernie Perm. "This isn't a wig." “Not anymore,” Rodolphus said, helpfully. “He got some wonderful hair growth potion, I think it was from Headonism Hair.” A dark look passed over Ernie Perm’s face. “Oh. Them.” He took a step back, the cloud on his face obvious, before he smiled. “Well, I could have given you a much better deal, sir.” "I've never heard of Headonism Hair, so it wouldn't follow that I've gotten any potions from them," Lucius insisted, his face contorting into frustration. "And besides, this is my real hair, without enhancements from any potions." Ernie looked increasingly puzzled, torn between who he should believe. He looked between the pair of them and frowned, then waved his wand for a nearby wig. "This looks to be the same color and texture as your — current hair," he said, offering it to Lucius hesitantly. "It might —" Lucius flicked his wand and the wig caught on fire, startling Ernie and forcing him to curse and drop the now flaming wig. "Excuse me, sir! That is property of Tangle and Noils and I'll have to insist on compensation!" Ernie finally got a hold of his wits long enough to put out the fire. "We've real business to discuss with you or your brothers," Lucius said instead, ignoring his previous statement. "At this point, I'd prefer meeting your brothers." “They’re at another meeting,” Ernie said, sounding wary and slightly offended. “I’m running the shop today. How may I help you?” Rodolphus leaned closer to Ernie, attempting to smooth over Lucius’ wounded pride by ignoring it altogether. “I’ve come with a message from the most important man in wizarding society, of course.” There was a long pause and then, a quizzical scrunch to his expression, Ernie asked, “The Great Wigmaker himself, Cheveaux Shavé?” "Cheveaux —" came the incredulous response, cut off when Lucius pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. Did everyone Ernie Perm know have ridiculous names? "No, it isn't some silly wigmaker." "His work is inspirational! How can you go through life thinking it's silly? It was his 1992 masterpiece that got my brothers and I into the wig business!" Ernie was sputtering now, his hand held to his chest in his shock. "If he ever graced this shop with his presence, I'd positively faint!" Rodolphus blinked at the man in front of them. A part of him wasn’t sure this wasn’t an elaborate joke, made to test his patience. There was some amusement, a faint stir of it, but a flame of irritation lit within Rodolphus’ chest. “You think that some stupid hairman is more important than the Dark Lord?” he asked, voice sharp. “Do you?” Ernie looked at him, eyes round, mouth gaping open like a fish. His words were rushed, his voice shaking, when he spoke. “He’s — he’s very talented and intelligent!!! I promise!!” Rodolphus looked at Lucius, his hand flexing. "More talented and more intelligent than the Dark Lord?" Lucius asked, daring Ernie Perm to agree just so that he had a reason to dispose of him. There were four other brothers to run the shop. "I — no! Of, of course not!" Ernie squeaked. "Does he need a wig? We've been saving our holiday ones for next week, but he can pick from them right now!" “No,” Rodolphus said, voice calm and clean and therefore tight with annoyance. “He doesn’t need a wig. He’s much more important things to be concerning himself with — like the behaviour of business owners.” Ernie swallowed. “Oh dear.” "Yes, that's more of a proper response. Now, will you listen?" In response, Lucius received a meek nod. "It's very simple, really. You don't have to do much. If you feel so obliged to, keep an eye on what's happening in Diagon. If you see anything suspicious, owl us immediately." "But —" Ernie piped up, face paling as he realized what he'd done. "I mean, how will it help? Surely you've — he's — all —" he coughed, "You don't need my eyes, I'm sure!" There was a slight pause before Rodolphus spoke, because he could hear the conversation in his head already and it saddened him. “Mr Perm,” he said, nose wrinkling with disdain, “I think you’ll find that he would greatly appreciate your help.” He smiled, stepped forward. Ernie almost flinched; Rodolphus reached for his wand and started to tap it gently, twice, against his leg. Nothing happened but Ernie looked like he was about to pass out. “The Dark Lord appreciates every single one of his pairs of eyes. He wouldn’t let something happen to their business.” Rodolphus looked around the room, keeping his general indifference to the wig business off his face. “You and your brothers wouldn’t want it either, I’m sure. You’ve worked so hard.” “We built it from nothing,” Ernie said faintly, so quiet that Lucius had to strain to hear. “I’m sure that’s true,” Lucius cut in before the man passed out and they would have to wait for one of his brothers. “Entrepreneurs such as yourself understand the work necessary for success. Think of it like that.” Ernie swallowed anxiously and nodded, but his grip on his wand had gotten tighter, sending sparks into the air. “You’re sparking, Mr Perm,” Rodolphus said and Ernie swallowed, murmuring an apology. He looked between them, pale as a ghost. “What am I to do?” “Help us,” Rodolphus said. He looked more amenable to their conversation, instantly. “It’s very easy for you, your business and your family. It’s the easiest thing to do in the world.” There was no other answer but yes. Ernie Perm nodded again, more firmly than he felt, and tried to smile at them. Lucius, pleased, clapped his hands together, feeling altogether happier than he’d been when they first entered the wig shop. “I believe we will take a wig, after all. It’s Rodolphus’ birthday today.” “I don’t want a wig,” Rodolphus said, automatically, but Ernie had perked up, a bit of colour appearing in his cheeks. He nearly fell over his feet as he walked back, chattering excitedly about wigs, his mouth running on autopilot as he described different types, how they’d accentuate Rodolphus’ features. Rodolphus looked at Lucius and said, low, “I will remember this.” "Consider it a gift," Lucius said, clapping him on the back. Ernie returned a moment later, a box in hand. "Thank you for your business!" And then, less certain, but with the same, at least attempt at, level of enthusiasm, "And don't worry! Tangle and Noils won't let you down!" Lucius took the box and smiled. "Wonderful. Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Perm." |