saxon capper :) (sackson) wrote in disorderic, @ 2017-11-23 21:42:00 |
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Hello and good morning if you've just joined us, this is your early morning breakfast show and I'm being here to inform you that we're thirty two days from Christmas. That's right, it's one month tomorrow. Personally, I can't wait. The quicker we get this day over with, the more we can stop pretending to enjoy all the novelty nonsense that pops up this time of year. I know, I know I sound like a curmudgeon but I have some evidence, bear with me. And no, we haven't got a dementor in here, the only thing that sucks out souls here is when an intern mixes up the decaf.
We spend all year trying to avoid the impending gastrointestinal distress of the vegetable that's only positive is that it's not kale. I know I'm looking forward to the roasted carpet taste that is supposedly turkey. Roasted chestnuts? Of course, tis the season regardless of the fact it tastes like burnt sugar-free jelly. Mulled wine? Who drinks this stuff, aside from my friends of questionable taste? It's watered down plonk with a load of cinnamon, nutmeg and the rubbish bit of an orange. Nutmeg can kill you. You could be drinking to your own demise with terrible wine and pretending to enjoy it. I suppose you could find potential death festive.
What's this thing about stupid Christmas jumpers? It's an invitation to look like a weirdo. You want to do it, you go right ahead but don't blame if no one jingles your bells as instructed. There's secret santa, which just involves asking everyone but the colleague you pulled what you're meant to get them and then looking awkward when it backfires.
This is not even getting into the travel build up for owls, the floo's a nightmare, people going about singing at your door who know the rest of the year people would rather staple their own ears shut than listen to their toneless crooning, the bits of spellotape you'll pick out of your furnishings till Valentines and the same thirty songs being played over and over. Speaking of, lets get everyone into the holiday spirit with some of your all time favoourite Christmas songs to lead us into the news, bound to be something cheerful there and then the weather. I think it's going to be a cold one, and if we're lucky, I know I can't wait for snow.