WHO: Chelsea Corner & Barnaby Snell (feat Pea & Carrot) WHAT: Cooing over puffskeins and other things! WHEN: Today, 4 November. WHERE: BGC flat, Tinworth.
"Baz," Chelsea called, holding onto her laundry basket as she entered the living room. "I'm putting in some more laundry, do you want to toss anything in?" She stopped in the center of the room, smiling at the sight of Pea and Carrot, who were running excitedly around Baz. "It's actually unfair how cute they are. I'd say they're the cutest, but Toby exists."
Baz grinned down at the puffskeins, who were humming contentedly as they raced around the living room. Pea and Carrot’s presence made their flat feel very full, but in the best way possible. His gaze flicked up to Chelsea, his smile broadening as he sank down onto the sofa. “I think they might tie with Toby? But I might be biased, since, you know, I’m like their uncle. Their puff-father. Which is like godfather.” He winced. “I’m going to stop explaining the joke now.”
“I think you need to keep explaining it. I don’t get it,” she teased, setting aside the basket as she sat down next to him. “But I have to be Team Toby. Look at his poor face.” Toby was nowhere to be found, but he could easily imagine it.
“I don’t think there needs to be teams,” Baz replied with a laugh, his expression softening at the mental image of Toby’s poor face. “Look at their poor faces.” He gestured to the puffskeins who, as if on cue, stopped running around and padded over to the couch in order to peer up at their temporary caretakers with happy expressions.
Chelsea covered her eyes with her hand. "I can't. They'll sway me and I have to remain loyal. I can't believe this is part of Nora and Rhys' plot."
“Personally, I think this is all a test.” He reached down to scratch beneath Pea’s chin. “A test of my future uncle slash godfather skills.”
She turned to look at him quizzically. "Do you think this is their prelude to them telling you Big News?" The capitals were evident in her voice.
“Hah, I wish,” Baz replied, scooping Pea up in his lap. As the tiny ball of fluff began to emit a happy hum, Carrot trotted over to Chelsea’s foot and looked up at her with pleading eyes. “I don’t think it’s going to happen anytime soon. Not with…” The war, he almost said. Not with Rodolphus Lestrange making menacing comments. He ultimately settled on, “Not with everything that’s going on.”
Finally, she relented, picking Carrot up. She curled up and rested against her stomach and she started petting her absentmindedly. "Maybe," Chelsea conceded. "But if they want to, I don't think that should stop them. It'd be a happy thing."
“I don’t disagree with you.” Baz’s expression turned thoughtful as he gave Chelsea a sidelong look. “I think lots of people should be parents if they want to be. They’d probably be very good at it! Like, look how good I am at taking care of Carrot and Pea.” He tapped Pea on the nose as his mouth curved into a smile. “It’s basically the same thing.”
"I know you just got over your whole," she affected a high-pitched voice, "I'm too scared to date someone I really like thing, but are you already thinking about parenthood?"
Baz let out an indignant huff of laughter. “Why does everyone keep saying I was scared? I was not scared!”
"Baz, come on," she said, leveling him with a look that indicated just how much she didn't believe him, "It's just me. You can say it."
His stare was just on the edge of incredulous. “I was not scared. I’m never scared. And, in any case, I’m not actually thinking about parenthood.” Baz felt a twinge of horror at the idea of someone telling Jeremy he was discussing parenthood after less than a month of dating. “Not yet, anyway. But I mean, I did tell you I wanted to have kids someday.”
Memories of that conversation brought on a wave of self-consciousness. His gaze dropped down to the puffskein in his lap as discomfort flickered across his face. “You know, back when you implied I wouldn’t be a good dad.”
There was an immediate objection. "No, I didn't. I mean," she paused, trying to remember back to this conversation. Nothing came up and her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "I don't remember saying that."
Baz’s posture grew defensive, his shoulders hunching as he pressed his mouth into a thin line. “I said I wanted to have children by the time I was thirty-five and you were all,” He pitched his voice higher, “Oh, well, I’ll believe it when I see it but you’re not really the type.”
The memory of it was still fuzzy, but the words felt familiar, even if his impression was not. Chelsea frowned, shifting in her seat so that she could better face him. "You know I didn't mean it in a bad way. I was just joking."
“Sure,” Baz said with a shrug, deliberately avoiding Chelsea’s gaze. “I mean, I don’t really care one way or the other.”
"Okay, Baz, you obviously do care," she said, her frown deepening at the realization that she'd hurt him with her words. She hated hurting anyone, but especially if it was at the expense of her friends. She meant it when she said next, "I'm sorry about what I said. Of course you'd be a good father."
Baz’s eyes drifted up to Chelsea’s. His mouth, tight as it was, tilted upward at her words. “Of course I’d be a good father,” he echoed, injecting false bravado into his voice. “I’m good at everything I do. I’ve heard that can be a little intimidating, but—” His smile became a touch flirtatious. “Don’t let it scare you off.”
He wanted to move on, and if she hadn't known him for as long as she did, she would've let him. She refused to take the out he gave her. "I was just skeptical about your willingness to commit to someone, but I didn't mean for it to apply to whether or not you'd be a good dad." It wasn't a great explanation, but it was what she had. "I'm sorry I made you feel otherwise."
It had been a mistake to bring it up, Baz realized. He looked on the verge of melting into the sofa as he quickly nodded, nervously rubbing the back of his neck as he dipped his head. “It’s fine! Don’t worry about it.” There was a hint of relief in his voice, though. He genuinely didn’t want any of his friends to think he would be a bad parent.
“In any case, I’ve committed! Now you can never be skeptical of anything I do or say ever again.”
Chelsea smiled, a bit hesitantly. "I don't know if I'd go that far. You do a lot of things I have to be skeptical of. But of course I'm going to worry about it, Barnaby," she said, with a shake of her head. "You should've told me that you were upset about it!”
“I wasn’t upset,” came Baz’s insistent reply. He reclined back against the sofa, absently scratching behind Pea’s ear. “It’s not a big deal! We don’t have to keep talking about it. We can talk about how, like, Rosier is obsessed with you and probably making a chocolate based on your shampoo.”
Her eyeroll was instantaneous and she busied herself by picking up Carrot and nuzzling her instead. "He doesn't even know what the shampoo was."
“I bet he went around smelling all available shampoos until he was able to find it.” There was a slight pause. “Or he memorized it and replicated it from memory because he’s obsessed with you and wanks off to you every night.”
Chelsea shoved him, harder than necessary as her disgust was made evident on her face. "Stop that! Oh my god! How am I ever going to look him in the eye after this?"
Laughing, Baz retaliated by bumping his shoulder against Chelsea’s. “You shouldn’t want to look him in the eye, he’s disgusting.”
She bumped back, then settled against his shoulder with a sigh. "You look him in the eye every day."
He clasped a hand to his heart. Sorrowfully: “And look at the toll it’s taken on me. I’m not nearly as handsome and captivating as I used to be.”
"That's called the passage of time," Chelsea informed him. She pulled back slightly to examine his face. "Look. You've got wrinkles already."
Baz wrinkled his nose before he ran a hand over his face, feeling around for any tentative wrinkles. “You take that back,” he said hotly. “My face is as smooth as a, uh, smooth thing. I was going to say baby’s bottom but I’ve always thought that was a really weird thing to say?”
"Because you're making it weird." She thought about it for a few seconds. "All right, I see your point. Your face can be as smooth as silk. Does that work?"
“It works for me,” Baz replied with a laugh. He leaned down to coo at Pea, but he was caught off-guard with the puffskein decided to lick him on the cheek. “I guess it works for Pea and Carrot too.”