WHO: Lucius Malfoy & Narcissa Black WHAT: A deal. WHEN: 1996 WHERE: The Daily Prophet offices WARNINGS: Coffee
Desperate times called for desperate measures. Lucius was cognizant that this was the only expression that applied to his situation, just as he was aware that he could've avoided all of this if he had just been just slightly more patient with his mother. In his defense, it was the third time in two days that she had brought the subject up (settling down) and Ariadne Malfoy refused to listen to his answer (no), even when he had tempered it down (in a few years from now), and Lucius was going to lose his hair with how much he wanted to pull it out if she continued on the subject. It was understandable, then, that when she cornered him again, after a horrendous blind date she had surprised him into, he had no desire to appease her with vague future assurances.
However, it would have been much easier — and he wouldn't be standing outside the Daily Prophet office with two coffees in his hand (one hot, one iced, but neither for him) — if he had just been firm with his mother. He had not. Instead, he had accidentally told her that he couldn't go on any more surprise blind dates because he was currently dating Narcissa Black. Needless to say, his mother had dropped the subject immediately, only to enthusiastically sing Narcissa's praises. During it all, all he could do was sit and try not to grimace as he pretended he agreed that he could do no better than Narcissa (this was highly debatable, he wanted to argue, because he was a Malfoy and Narcissa was the bane of his existence, and that was without mentioning all of her family's drama) while realizing he would have to tell Narcissa what he had just happened. With their history, and his luck, she would most likely laugh in his face, promptly tell his mother he was lying, and then have to go on ten thousand terrible dates until his soul was so defeated he proposed to the first girl he could tolerate.
Lucius had to stop that from happening. With the coffees in hand, he strode into the office, imbued with the confidence he knew would be dashed in a few minutes, and once directed to Narcissa's desk, walked over calmly. He rested both cups on her desk and said, brusquely, "I need to speak with you."
Narcissa held up a single finger and finished the sentence she’d been writing before looking up at the owner of the coffees. Her expression, once one of carefully curated professional pleasantry, went instantly icy and distant when she saw it was Lucius. She looked to the coffees again and briefly narrowed her eyes at them, only just barely resisting the urge to push them over the edge of her desk.
“Do you now?” she asked, her eyes on him again, a single eyebrow raised.
"I wouldn't be here otherwise," Lucius said without any hostility that would normally be found. He pushed the coffees forward as his peace offering. "I didn't know which you preferred."
Narcissa rolled her chair away an inch as he pushed the coffees closer, her eyes on the cups again. Why was Lucius Malfoy bringing her coffee? Her eyes darted back up and narrowed on Lucius now. “Do I prefer my laxatives hot or on ice, you mean?”
He scoffed at the insinuation as well as the standard she assumed of him. Lacing coffee with laxatives was an elementary trick and something he would never resort to. If he did want to make her uncomfortable, he would just force himself to spend twenty minutes with her, although it would hurt him as well. "I have better things to do than that," he said. "This is out of the kindness of my heart. Now do you prefer hot or iced?"
“The kindness of your heart?” she scoffed with a laugh, ignoring the question about preference still.
"If you'd like, I'll test both of them, but I suspect that might ruin the drink for you," he offered dryly. He had no intention of doing so. If she refused the coffees, he could just toss them out.
“Or you could tell me why you’re here,” she offered back, just as dryly. “Bringing me…” She trailed off and spared the coffees an impatient look, but reached for the iced coffee and tore away the rest of the paper from its straw.
Finally, Lucius thought, happy to get past that first hurdle and unhappy knowing that if he faced resistance to this small gesture, getting Narcissa to agree to the dating scenario he'd hatched up would be impossible. But he was here, had wasted ten minutes of his life in line, and another two minutes arguing about his generosity. His pride was at stake. However, he didn't need to do it immediately. He had to take small steps. "How's work?" he asked instead, tilting the hot coffee at her in acknowledgement. "I read your latest story."
Now Narcissa fixed Lucius with an impatient look. “It’s fine,” she said, “when I’m not being interrupted.” She set her coffee aside and leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her middle and staring up at him with as much authority as she could muster sitting down. She didn’t like having him there. It made her feel like she had something to prove when she didn’t. Not at the Prophet, anyway.
“What are you doing here, Lucius? And why are you trying to bribe me?”
Airily, he corrected, again: "It's not a bribe. I'm being kind." It didn't sound believable to his own ears. Realizing that he'd have to tell her sooner or later, he sighed, took a drink from the (still hot) coffee, and grimaced. "I've told my mother I'm seeing you."
And Narcissa did laugh, though not in his face. “I can’t imagine why you would do that.”
"I honestly couldn't say," he said, ignoring her laughter. He'd expected it. If she hadn't, he would think something was wrong with her. "Things escalated rather quickly."
“You really shouldn’t lie to your mother,” she said, badly contained mirth in her tone. Sensing a competition, her spine went straighter and her tone condescending. “I would never lie to my mother.” She unfurled her arms from her middle and turned to take an imperious sip of her coffee.
As always, Narcissa Black knew just how to get to him. Even the simplest of comments could do the trick, as long as she was the one who said it. But it wouldn't help to rise to her bait. "I've not made a habit of it. It just happened. And that's why I needed to see you."
“And I really don’t see why,” she said with a confused laugh. The very idea of dating Lucius, even in jest, was so beyond the realm of possibility that it hadn’t dawned on her that this was what he expected of her.
"Your name just came to mind. I don't know why," Lucius said stiffly. H e didn't want her to get the wrong impression and he certainly hadn't been secretly pining for her — that was ridiculous, to say the least — but he had no better explanation than that. His mother had looked expectantly at him, waiting for him to give her a reason as to why he couldn't go on anymore dates, and the only thing he could think of was Narcissa Black. It was hardly his best moment. "But if you could… help me, I'd... " he grimaced again, "Owe you a favor."
Narcissa blinked up at Lucius for a long moment while her brain attempted to process this information. Owe her a favor? For doing what? “I don’t understand. Do you need me to tell your mother you made it up?” she asked slowly, her confusion plain on her face.
"No," he said emphatically, urgently before clearing his throat and reverting back to a more aloof demeanor. "I'd… appreciate it if you didn't tell my mother that. And… if you would just go along with it." He was practically wincing as he said it.
“If I would go along with it?” she repeated, a shrill edge to her voice, her eyes wide. Her cubicle neighbor glanced up and Narcissa’s expression slammed shut. She had to think very quickly. She really ought to have sent him away. There was no reason for her to consider anything Lucius Malfoy had to say, especially since, now that she had the whole story, she wasn’t entirely sure she believed him. Why would her name be the first name that came to mind if he weren’t harboring secret feelings for her? And the possibility of this being an elaborate joke hadn’t been ruled out either.
But.
Though she didn’t have a meddlesome mother to contend with just yet, she did feel the weighty gaze of the entire purist population of wizarding Britain, waiting to see what outlandish thing she would do. After all, her former sister had found herself in the family way seemingly after an audition for Witches Gone Wild and, if that weren’t bad enough, had married a mudblood on top of that. And Sirius was living in a polyamorous quartet with three other Gryffindors. What new lows would the Black family sink to next?
Considering what Lucius Malfoy had to say, apparently.
Narcissa glanced at her neighbor, down at the coffee on her desk, and then up at the wince on Lucius’s face. She rose to her feet and, after carefully smoothing her skirt over legs, dragged Lucius outside by the arm.
“Go along with it?” she repeated again, once they were safely outside and away from prying ears.
Though he detested the act — given how much time he spent on his hair in the first place — Lucius couldn't help but run a hand through it, a sign of his increasing frustration. How had he convinced himself that this was the best solution to his inane predicament, a predicament, admittedly, of his own making. "Not for long," he hastened to say. "I don't intend to marry you in this arrangement."
“Marriage!” she exclaimed with an incredulous laugh. “Like I would ever marry you!” She reached for her necklace, though, and wound the pendant through her fingers. Now she was convinced Lucius had been harboring secret feelings for her, if he was going to bring something like marriage up. Next he was probably going to talk about children! But an arrangement would be advantageous. When they inevitably ‘broke up’, she could convince Leopold Yaxley that the business with her estranged sister had nothing to do with her and he would stop wasting her time and finally ask her out. She’d ‘dated a Malfoy’, after all!
After a beat, she sighed and waved her other hand dismissively. “Fine.”
"I wasn't going to," Lucius said in exasperation, nearly throwing his hands up in the process. "I can't imagine anything —" He stopped and frowned. "What?"
“Calm down,” she said, as dismissively as she’d waved her hand. “I said fine. But you’ll owe me a favor, of course.”
Automatically, his eyes narrowed in suspicion, as they always did when it came to favors. When he relaxed, he asked, keeping the apprehension out of his voice, "Do you have one in mind already?"
For a moment, she considered him, twisting her necklace around her fingers. “I haven’t decided yet,” she said. “Do you know what you’ll need from me?”
He briefly weighed his options. On the one hand, Narcissa's vagueness about what she wanted in return was concerning. Lucius pictured himself being forced to wear an unflattering color for days or being forced into shaving his head. On the other hand, Narcissa had agreed, despite very little reason to agree. It was a risk, but he kept his promises and in spite of their contentious history, he still trusted Narcissa Black over most people. Of course, he'd never say this to her, lest she get the wrong idea.
His nod indicated that he had made up his mind. "If you're free, we can talk about it over lunch."
She glanced at her watch and saw that it was, indeed, lunchtime. “It’s a date,” she said, a bit like there was an unpleasant taste in her mouth.
"We don't need to start immediately," he muttered, gesturing for her to walk ahead of him. Lucius wondered just what he was getting into before he followed her out.