oliver wood (brooms) wrote in disorderic, @ 2017-09-25 10:58:00 |
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“I just can’t --” Oliver huffed, irritated. He knew that the Patronus Charm was one of the most difficult spells out there, but did it really have to be so hard? He wasn’t used to failing at something, even if that something was so exceedingly difficult that most wizards couldn’t do it. Oliver hadn’t sat many NEWTs, but it wasn’t because he was bad at magic. It’d been because his focus was on Quidditch instead, and his friends had pressured him into thinking about his future in a more practical way. In retrospect, he really, really wished that he’d kept up with Defense Against the Dark Arts. Maybe he would have had a leg up on the Patronus now. Oliver wasn’t exactly a good loser. Luckily, Angelina had a lot of experience with that. It didn’t stop him from frowning at his wand and nearly tossing it to the ground, though. “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Like I don’t have happy memories?” He scoffed. He had plenty of those. Of course, it probably didn’t help that now he was getting annoyed. “How did you manage it?” Also lucky was that Angelina had plenty of experience teaching stubborn people how to do things, the Patronus Charm in particular lately. She recognized the frown Oliver gave his wand as the same one Gwen gave hers whenever Angelina sensed she was on the verge of throwing her wand, even. She was sensing it right now, too. “Patience,” Angelina said. “It’s one of those practice makes perfect sort of things. You’re not going to manage a full Patronus at first.” She gave Oliver an appraising look. “Are you being patient?” “I don’t need to manage a full one, I just want --” Oliver waved his left hand in the air. “Something!” He took a deep breath. She was right, of course. He wasn’t being patient about it. Patience wasn’t really one of his strong suits -- he was a Gryffindor, after all. There was only one facet of his life where he was at all patient, and he felt like he probably deserved sainthood for that one, so maybe he didn’t have any more space for that virtue anymore. Maybe he’d used it all up. “I’ll try to be more patient,” he conceded, finally. “How long did it take you?” “Like a month or two? I don’t really remember,” Angelina answered with a shrug, a bit like it was nothing. “But I really like charms and I practiced a lot.” “A month or two,” Oliver echoed. He could handle a month or two of waiting before he saw any progress here, he told himself. It was like Quidditch. No one could pick up a new skill instantly (except Harry). They had to work at it. Consistently. He liked charms, generally speaking. He’d done really well on his Charms NEWT, after all, and it wasn’t due to Percy or Penny. He’d earned that mostly on his own. “I’m not really good with patience.” Not that she needed to be reminded about that. “Waiting for something that might not ever happen…” He wrinkled his nose. “Not a fan.” “At least it’s worth the wait?” Angelina offered. “But yeah, I know.” A thought struck her, then, and she fought to keep her expression as neutral and patient as possible. The corners of her mouth definitely twitched, though. “What memory are trying to channel for your patronus? Sometimes I think it’s a matter of finding the right feeling to focus on.” “Was trying Quidditch,” he grumbled. He'd tried a couple memories - when he'd made the Gryffindor team, when they'd won the Cup, when he'd gotten word from Puddlemere that they wanted him. “Maybe that's not happy enough? Even winning the cup…” He waved his wand in a little circle. “Nothing.” “Winning the Cup is definitely mine,” she said helpfully. Instead of helping him channel his chosen memories — for the moment, anyway — she twisted her mouth in thought and asked, “Is there maybe a person you could be focusing on?” Oliver glanced over at Angelina, eyes narrowed. A few thoughts ran through his head -- what do the stars say? and is this going to be about Baz because you can stop here -- and instead he shrugged. “Dunno. Is that usually strong enough?” “Depends on the person,” Angelina replied with a shrug of her own, pretending she hadn’t noticed him narrow his eyes at her. “For instance, if we hadn’t obliterated Slytherin your last year…” She paused to give the moment the respect it deserved. “I would probably think about Fred.” They had really pummeled Slytherin, hadn’t they? The memory brought a smile to Oliver’s face for a moment before he refocused on her suggestion. “I don’t…” He was curious if there was something that wasn’t fraught with shame or frustration or impatience, but she was already too nosy as it was. His shoulders sagged. “Not everyone’s as lucky as you and Fred, you know.” There was an entire year, at least, of unluckiness where she and Fred were concerned that she didn’t want to think about when things were going so well so Angelina proved his point by casually asking, “Not even you and Percy?” “What?” Angelina’s question took him off-guard, but not so much that he didn’t feel his cheeks warming. “Where’d you get that idea?” She raised her eyebrows at him. “The stars?” “The stars are full of shit.” Except they weren’t, really, at all. Oliver rolled his eyes. “Why are you asking, Ang? Can we just --” This was going to get back to everyone now, and even though Percy had said he didn’t want to hide anymore, the thought that he might back out was never far from Oliver’s mind. “What do you want?” “What do I want?” Angelina repeated, tucking her hair roughly behind her ear, her eyebrows furrowing. “I don’t want anything. I’m just asking.” Oliver seemed upset and she was starting to regret giving into her curiosity a little. “But asking why? You have to want something, I know you.” That sounded short, once it was out there. Maybe she was just trying to be a friend. It wasn’t Angelina’s fault for being curious, or for putting the pieces together. Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m not mad at you, I just… don’t know what to say.” Still smarting from ‘you have to want something, I know you,’ Angelina opened and closed her mouth before breathing out an incredulous laugh. “Hi. Oliver, was it?” she asked, offering him her hand to shake. “I’m your friend, Angelina.” It was in that moment Oliver finally gave in. He laughed and shook her hand. “Nice to meet you again.” If she’d figured it out, she probably wasn’t the only one. “It’s not personal, you know. Not telling you. I know it’s going to sound like an excuse, but it’s complicated. But yeah, probably something to do with him would work. Just… maybe when I clear my head, I can try that.” “I figured it was complicated or else it wouldn’t be a huge secret,” Angelina said with a shrug and a sympathetic smile. “I guess I didn’t realize…” She trailed off and glanced up for a moment to gather her thoughts. “I don’t know. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry.” “No, no, I’m not upset,” Oliver waved that off, “I thought you would be.” Honestly, he figured everyone would be. He expected feelings of betrayal or his friends questioning whether or not they could trust him if he couldn’t trust them. He’d gone through dozens of worst-case scenarios. “Was it just a lucky guess, or what?” “Ha ha, well.” Angelina rubbed sheepishly at the back of her neck. “I just thought Percy was kind of full on with the caring after the whole dementor thing so a few days later I was like, ‘L-O-L they’re lucky they’re cute’ about the twins and Percy and you got super cagey for a sec. So I was just like, ‘I see…’” She rubbed her chin thoughtfully for a second before shrugging again. “I was open to being wrong, but I’m not upset either or anything.” Now, Oliver’s cheeks turned pink in earnest, and he ducked his head. “I knew he went overboard with that. And we were doing so well before all that rubbish.” It was honestly a bit of a miracle they hadn't gotten caught. “We, ah…” Although he'd told a few people that there was ‘someone,’ he'd never spoken to anyone about Percy specifically, so Oliver felt a little out of his element. “He wants to tell people. Soon. Or not have it be a secret anymore. So that's… that's gonna happen. I think it will, at least. I told him he needed to start with his family first. I don't know if he'll talk to their da, but…” Oliver shrugged. “Suppose we'll see.” Angelina reached out and gave Oliver’s arm a friendly punch. “That’s really cool, Oliver!” she said, loud and excited. But then, significantly, “That must’ve made you really happy, yeah?” “Ow, that's my good arm,” Oliver complained, purposefully over-dramatic as a way to avoid how bloody shy he felt about talking to her about it. It was easier to imagine Percy’s fears that way, and it made him feel guilty for ever pushing the issue. He got where she was going with it, though. “Yeah,” he admitted, remembering the way it felt like his heart was going to burst, “it did.” He thought about just putting her off, but Angelina was as stubborn as the rest of them. So he sighed and concentrated on that moment -- when Percy said he didn't want to lie anymore and wanted Oliver to move in. He waved his wand like she'd explained, and then opened his eyes to peek at what he'd done -- but there was nothing there. “Well, this is awkward.” Angelina swept her eyes over Oliver, noting his posture, the way he held his wand. “Maybe it’s too soon for that one?” she asked thoughtfully, meeting his eyes. “Maybe we should break for today, honestly. I know you said you weren’t upset, but…I promise I won’t ask any personal questions next time.” She looked sheepish again. “It's okay,” Oliver insisted, “really. You didn't know. That's on us.” He knew she hadn't meant any harm, and he really didn't want her to feel bad about it. He stepped over to her to wrap an arm around her shoulders. “I mean it. You can ask whatever you want. Just…” He winced a little in anticipation. “Can you not talk to Fred yet? He should hear from Percy himself. Things’ve been so bad between them, I don't want it to make it worse.” The thought of not telling Fred made Angelina’s shoulders hunch, briefly, under Oliver’s arm, but she relaxed and let out a long sigh, nodding. Despite any insistence otherwise, she was actually terrible at keeping secrets. But she’d known the request was coming. There had been a reason, after all, why she hadn’t outright named Percy when she’d been joking about the stars giving her insight into Oliver’s love life. “Is he going to do it really soon, you think?” she asked, slinging her arm across his back and tilting to the side just a bit to look at him. “He’d fucking better.” This, he suspected, was probably part of the reason why anything involving Percy wasn’t going to help him produce a Patronus at the moment. There were too many unknowns in all of the promises, and while Oliver trusted he meant it, it was something he needed to see to believe. “He wants me to move in.” Angelina gave Oliver a squeeze and stepped away, fixing him with a hesitant grimace. “That’s really cool, too, but…” She bounced on the balls of her feet a few times. She hadn’t promised to not ask him personal questions during this patronus practice. “Shouldn’t you make sure everyone knows why you’re moving in together before you move in together?” “Well, yeah.” Oliver tilted his head, looking at her with his brow furrowed. “That’s why I told him to tell his family first.” He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, which it probably wasn’t, given Angelina’s question. “If he backs out of that now…” Oliver’s expression darkened a little and he shuffled his feet. “That’d probably be it.” He hated putting something so personal and difficult into terms like that, like it was an ultimatum, but he knew it’d break his heart. “That makes sense,” Angelina said with an understanding nod. And then, she frowned. “You don’t think it’ll come to that, do you?” Oliver shook his head. “No.” He felt sure about that now. For the first time in all the years he and Percy had spent together in some fashion, Oliver was sure. “It won’t.” “Good,” she said, seriously. “That’s good.” A grin started to tug at the corners of her mouth. “Because I don’t know why, but I’d feel really guilty about having to beat up Percy. For you, I’d do it, but. I wouldn’t like it.” He couldn't help it: he grinned back. “Because he's a bloody moron who still wants to work for the Ministry, and you'd feel bad beating up someone with no common sense?” Oliver didn't really mean all that -- well, he did mean some of it. He did think it was stupid and dangerous to say. “I'm glad you've got my back, though if he fucks this up, there might not be much left after I get done with him.” He paused. “I mean after I beat him up.” Angelina nodded along with his take on Percy and why she’d feel guilty, laughing. But her expression went earnest after a beat. “Of course I’ve got your back, Oliver,” she said and it sounded more serious than she’d really meant it to in light of everything they’d talked about. “We’ll always be a team.” “That’s right.” More than that, they were a family. Despite how hard he’d been on all of them, somehow he ended up with more little sisters than he knew what to do with. And some extremely clever, irritating little brothers. Oliver really hoped they wouldn’t be mad at him, or at Percy. Mostly Percy. He could handle whatever they threw his way, but he wasn’t sure how well Percy would take any more distance. Oliver got a look on his face, the one he used to get when he had a really great idea. It was difficult, and a little weird, to talk about his love life when he’d kept it all a secret for so long, and maybe he’d feel more up to trying his hand at the Patronus after clearing his head a bit. “You know what would help right now?” He paused, but he didn't wait for her to ask what. “Get your broom. Let's go flying.” |