angelus (rosier) wrote in disorderic, @ 2018-05-16 06:58:00 |
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ANGELUS: Greetings everyone, we’re here with today’s edition of the WWN Morning Show — I’m your temporary host Angelus Rosier. You’ll remember me from The Pitch. I’m here by [...] special invite from the Ministry to give a special interview with our very own Minister for Magic, Pius Thicknesse! PIUS: Thank you for having me, Uriel. [...] Angelus. AR: [pause] We’re happy to have you, Minister Thicknesse. Now, your office has informed the WWN that you’re here today with intention to announce a special Ministry [slight hesitation] event. Can you elaborate for all us citizens? PT: Hmm? [...] Oh, yes! As you know, the Ministry is well into its efforts to phase out the Muggle technology that has been crudely integrated by the Bagnold and Fudge administrations. We asked an efficiency consultant to appraise our system and she told us all about the dangers of data loss and something she called ‘hacking’, which is when someone infiltrates your computer over the winternet. As you know, this happened to the computers in the Department of Mysteries and we couldn’t have that obviously so — AR: [dead silence for a few seconds before he realizes Thicknesse isn’t continuing] Obviously not! We all expect you to cover the data breaches and if this is the best solution. [long pause before he continues again, sounding more pressed] So! What does that mean for all the computers, Minister? PT: A bonfire? AR: Are you — well, I’m not sure if you’re jesting, Mr Thicknesse! PT: Yes, a bonfire. The Ministry instructed its employees to backup all of the information on their computers and they’ll be destroyed in a bonfire in the Ministry’s atrium tomorrow afternoon at thirteen hundred. AR: [a poignant pause] I wasn’t expecting that. Are people expected to come and watch, or is it for Ministry employees only? PT: Yes. AR Alright, maybe someone will bring some marshmallows too. Is there anything else you’d like to say about this bonfire and the new Ministry policy going forward? PT: I — this is a terrible idea. AR: [muttering that sounds somewhat like agreement] I — well, was it your idea Mr Thicknese? PT: None of these ideas have been mine. They’re — AR: Well, that’s all the time we have today. [there’s a soft knocking noise] Thank you for joining us, Minister. PT: Wait! Broadcast ends abruptly. |