mitzi abbott (ghoulz) wrote in disorderic, @ 2018-04-12 20:58:00 |
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Mitzi paused, the eyeliner in her hand inches from her eyelid, regarding her reflection intensely. Her bottom lip trembled and she set her eyeliner down, covering her throat with her now free hand. After a moment, tears came to her eyes. She let them flow, then sobbed. Ugh, no. That was too much. It would never be believable. She sighed, tilting her face side to side, admiring her complexion under the warm lights of her vanity. In this lighting she fancied herself as looking rather like a tragic heroine, but it wasn’t good enough to just look the part, she had to feel it. No matter how she tried, though, her insides remained cold as a morgue. The only thing that cut through the chill was the thought of her mother, but even that was starting to lose its efficacy. Her eyes cut over to the small box of belongings her uncle had given to her. Maybe reading her mother’s diary would rekindle the angst she used to feel. She stood up from her vanity and kneeled in front of the box, digging for the thick, cobalt blue journal her mother had once used. Mitzi flipped open to a random page, scanning for the date before beginning to read. Today cousin Gloria told me I was a shameful woman for seeing two men. Mitzi smirked. “Nice, mum,” she muttered, eyes glued to the page. But then, a few sentences later: I wonder how she’d feel if they knew they were brothers. Well, that was unexpected. Nearly an hour later, Mitzi was close to finishing her mother’s diary. She had learned that her mother was deathly afraid of rodents, that Liesel wanted two girls, that Mitzi’s name — had she been a boy — was almost Elmo, that her mother’s favourite song was Fast Car by Tracy Chapman, and that she’d taken a very, very big secret to the grave. Or so she thought. Mitzi is such a good baby, Liesel had written at the very end of the diary, and I’m so lucky Aloysius and Winthrop look similar enough that favouring one means she favours both. I love Aloysius so much and it’d kill him (or maybe he’d kill me — ha!) if he knew she wasn’t his. Mitzi’s eyes widened, genuinely shocked for the first time in her life. “What… the fuck.” |